OK, it’s official: The Land of Hope and Glory has lost the plot. “When Prince William and Kate Middleton leave Westminster Abbey on Friday, there will be no 21-gun salute to mark their union,” telegraph.co.uk reports. “Plans for such an honour in Hyde Park were abandoned because of fears over ‘health and safety’ and ‘noise pollution’.” But wait! “The MoD [Ministry of Defense] refuses to discuss the bureaucratic obstacles involved in staging gun salutes in London. ‘The reason there is no gun salute is because it is not traditional to have one at a royal wedding,’ its spokesman insists.” What? As the Torygraph points out, “Queen Victoria and Prince Albert’s wedding in 1840 began with such a tribute.” Note to the MoD: pull the other one. It has bells on it.