BREAKING: Reports of an Active Shooter on UM Campus – UPDATE: All Clear

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UPDATE: We have the cause of the active shooter alert on the UM campus:

The good news: we understand from sources that they were fair trade, intersectionally correct balloons that didn’t contain any greenhouse gasses or messaging that could be considered hate speech on a modern American college campus. So other than the false alarm that scrambled campus and county police, nothing problematic occurred at all.

– – – – – – –

UPDATE: Aaaaand we’re glad to report that according to a UM tweet, the report of an active shooter appears to have been a false alarm.

It may have been someone walking with an umbrella or a student who chewed a slice of pizza into the shape of a pistol.  Whatever the case, we’re pleased it wasn’t something more serious.

– – – – – – –

News reports are starting to emerge of an active shooter situation on the University of Michigan campus in Ann Arbor. The university has issued an emergency alert message.

Many of these situations turn out to be false alarms. Let’s hope this is one of those times.

comments

  1. avatar rosignol says:

    …someone who wanted maximum bodycount on a university campus probably wouldn’t do it on a Saturday.

    1. avatar strych9 says:

      That depends on how they go about it.

      Mon-Fri during peak class times would be a good target. So would Saturday night at any dorm, frat house or house party. Saturday during the day during and event would work too.

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        And the crowds of ‘Game Day’, as well…

    2. avatar Dan in Detroit says:

      then again, hash bash is april 6 this year. the campus will most certainly be packed that day. Given that we just passed a law decriminalizing weed, I expect a lot of people will be coming out to party.
      I really don’t go to many big public events anymore. After being on the roof of a parking structure and seeing the meat grinders that occur on the street when some stupid teen thinks it will be funny to yell “he’s got a gun” and start running… nope.

  2. avatar Warren Neville says:

    They are just celebrating the win by the basketball team.

  3. avatar tmm says:

    Appears to be domestic situation. Read: not a shooter incident.

    Detroit Free Press:

    UPDATE: Central Michigan University: Fatal shooting suspect in custody

    Two people were killed in a fourth-floor room of a Central Michigan University residence hall early Friday morning, police and the university said.

    The two who were killed were not students, the university said.

    Sources told the Free Press that the victims are believed to be the shooter’s parents. The situation is believed to have started from a domestic dispute.

    UMich twitter: “UM ALERT UPDATE There does not appear to be an active threat to the community. DPSS continues to investigate. Continue to stay clear of area.”

    1. avatar tmm says:

      Clarification on DFP story: UPDATE line was added presumably later, which updated the original story quoted in the next three paragraphs of the quote. That is, the “update” only refers to that one line.

      1. avatar tmm says:

        Dammit. DFP story is another incident altogether, it’s unrelated.

        UMich twitter comment still applies.

    2. avatar The Huscarl says:

      CMU and UofM are two different places that have nothing to do with each other . . .

  4. avatar former water walker says:

    “Balloons popping on fakebook”…😄😊😏

    1. avatar tmm says:

      Indeed, this may be as innocuous as somebody hearing balloons popping and girls screaming and thought something else. If so, what an idiotic waste.

      1. avatar Guest says:

        …actually no, it’s not a waste.

  5. avatar Steve Eisenberg says:

    balloon control

  6. avatar Ralph says:

    They must have been privileged white balloons.

    1. avatar Kenneth says:

      How long do you suppose it might be before some of these “safety first” false alarms will end up getting somebody killed or injured(which is the opposite of safe) due to a frightened sheep overreaction?
      Nobody seems to understand that a scared sheeple is an extremely dangerous thing. To everyone around them, and to themselves as well. Instead… just S.T.O.P.

      1. avatar WI Patriot says:

        Same scenario as the “boy who cried wolf”…when was really a wolf, nobody listened…

        1. avatar Kenneth says:

          Mike Rowe from “dirty jobs” learned that… from doing real work. He has said many times how he never believed in these things… up until he did them. It turns out that doing real life things teaches real life lessons. Who’da thunk it???????
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0RrhkMk2zY
          Elite ‘progressives’ simply cannot comprehend the whys and wherefores involved in doing a job, since all they ever do is attend meeting and run their mouths. The real world just won’t fit into their tiny little heads.
          If safety really is FIRST, then that means that getting the job done must be second… or even lower. And that means the way to be safe is to NOT do the job. So nothing ever gets done. And that includes fixing and maintaining equipment that is needed to be safe, which means “safety first” is UNsafe.
          Besides, there is the complacency issue and the reality that when it becomes as it is now, people tend to think that with so many safety meetings and lockdowns and yellow vests, SOMEBODY out there must be working at keeping ME safe. So there’s no reason for ME to worry. Somebody else will care as much about my safety as me. BZZZZT! There’s the 100% false idea that makes the “safety first” world unsafe.

  7. avatar Adamanter says:

    We clearly need ‘responsible reasonable balloon control” along with waiting periods on helium

  8. avatar Mad Max says:

    Those darn assault balloons…

  9. avatar strych9 says:

    People are gonna be on edge for a while after a well publicized mass shooting. That’s the way it goes.

    After the Baticlan people were more cautious at gatherings. After Nice people were more cautious in public in general. After the Manchester Arena thing people didn’t want their kids going to big shows.

    It doesn’t have to happen in your country to affect behavior in your country.

  10. avatar Fred says:

    I can tell the difference between balloons popping and a firearm dischargeing. So too, I believe anyone familiar with firearms, would also.
    Thus the misinterpretation by college students indicates their lack of familiarity.
    Sad really.

  11. avatar Tim says:

    Trump’s afult anyway!!11! None of this would happen if it weren’t for fascists!

    Stop the H8!

    1. avatar TickTalk says:

      No boom today. Boom tommorow. There is always a boom tommorow.
      Boom… boom… sooner or later. BOOM..

      1. avatar DC Comics says:

        We believe the word you’re looking for is “Blam!”.

  12. avatar MB says:

    An entire generation of pansy ass cowards. You can thank school administration, teachers, main stream media, and hippie parents for creating this. F U very much.

  13. avatar John in Ohio says:

    I’m surprised there wasn’t someone writing for TTAG hunkered down in a room on campus so they could proclaim: “No real blame to go around other than some girls not thinking about how it sounds to be popping balloons while screaming around Mason Hall.”

    Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Optic! “Concealed means concealed!” These fools ruin it for the rest of us, don’t cha know. And all that other Orwellian rot some dipshits diarrhea of the mouth about.

  14. avatar Ark says:

    Yeah I was making a skeptical face when the local TV station interviewed the third or fourth call-in student whose story was “I was doing such-and-such and then got an alert on my phone and now I’m freaking out”. Not one person reported seeing anything that wasn’t on a screen.

    After the media blitz and promotion of the NZ shooting to “yet another American mass shooting by the NRA”, we’re bound to get buttfucked with false reports and/or copycat shootings. Shootings always spike in the media wake of other mass shootings.

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