Black Arch Holster Weekend Photo Caption Contest

WWII colorized (5)

The Other Tom in Oregon took last week’s prize. If you’d like a quality Black Arch Holster for your EDC gun, enter the best caption for this photo by Sunday at midnight.


  1. avatar Gunsplain says:

    “Okay, we’ve covered this whole thing in cotton camo using this gigantic Q-tip. Next, we have to camouflage the tip of the round so they don’t see it coming.”

  2. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Sometimes it’s shy and won’t come out when people are watching.”

  3. avatar Steve says:

    “Fix it, schnell!”
    “Is it righty-tighty, lefty-loosey or the other way around?”

  4. avatar pwrserge says:

    “Put a gun on the Hanomag, they said. It’s like having your own StuG they said… They’re not the ones having to load the damn thing.”

  5. avatar pwrserge says:

    “In retrospect, the Wehrmacht experiments with large caliber muzzle loaders mounted to half tracks were not as combat effective as their advocates claimed. The duty of loader on such vehicles proved to be the least popular position in the Panzergrenadier regiments responsible for the field tests.”

  6. “I telling you Fritz, I don’t sink it eez un muzzlelöder!”

  7. avatar tanker says:

    “I think we’re gonna need a bigger swab!”

  8. avatar Jeff says:

    “Hey Fritz did you remember to clear the chamber?”, said Wilhem as he pulled the trigger.

  9. avatar pieslapper says:

    “When we’re shooting at muzzies we lube the barrel with bacon fat, ‘cuz even allah likes the smell of bacon.”

  10. avatar TheOtherDavid says:

    “It’s OK. Hickok does it this way all the time.”

  11. avatar Southern Cross says:

    “Who says size doesn’t matter?”

  12. avatar Jasonius says:

    What a time for a squib.

    1. avatar Chrispy says:

      That’s what I was thinking!

  13. avatar Rob D. says:

    Vy iss it alvays me! Lass time I gut shut in zee azz!

  14. avatar Alex VG says:

    “Ramrodz Gun Swabs, now available in magnum sizes!”

  15. avatar FormerWaterWalker says:

    You change the barrel next time comrade!

  16. avatar FormerWaterWalker says:

    You change the barrel next time comrade!

  17. avatar Grant says:

    Reminds me of my doctors visit after we invaded Amsterdam.

  18. avatar MikeF says:

    Pop off a round from your handgun. Let’s see how far he jumps….

    1. avatar Owen says:

      This should be the winner. Not a single one of these made me laugh until i read this one.

  19. avatar pieslapper says:

    “No Hans! Frog lube does not mean ram live frogs down ze barrel!”

  20. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:

    Were he to look up, he would realize that a comrade had gone mad, and if he delayed in his task he was to share the fate wished upon his enemies…….

  21. avatar Dyspeptic Gunsmith says:

    We’ll be home by Christmas! Look at how easy it is, rolling across the land in Russia!

  22. avatar Mikele says:

    Shnell shnell Hanz!!! Reinigen Sie die panzer fass!

  23. avatar Jester says:

    “we are from the government… we are here to help!”

  24. avatar Larry says:

    How to stop car jacking honest officer the T34 pointed a gun at me!

  25. avatar dh34 says:

    Should we tell him what happened to the last loader?

  26. avatar Stinkeye says:

    “No, I didn’t need a tax stamp. ATF says it’s still a half-track until one of the tires goes flat, then that counts as being re-manufactured into a short-barreled tank.”

  27. avatar Jeffro says:

    Damn it Rudolf, it is powder, patch, then ball!

  28. avatar CRF says:

    “P-put it in, Hans.”

  29. avatar jwm says:

    “Oh Yeah ! Who’s your daddy? Say my name!”

    1. avatar 16V says:

      Giraldo at the Roast of Bob Saget FTW!

      “I cringed harder than watching my mom in a bukkake video…”

      1. avatar Timmy! says:

        I don’t remember the “comedian” who said it, but this one makes me laugh…

        “Best day of my life was when I found my dad’s porn in the back of the closet. Worst day of my life was when I found my mom’s porn in the back of the video store.”

        1. avatar Shawn says:

          That’d be Anthony Jeselnik, guy is a riot if you like dark comedy.

        2. avatar 16V says:

          ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ is on Netflix. It is hilarious, if you like Jeselnik.

  30. avatar jwm says:

    Join the German army, they said. Apply for panzer training, they said. Russia in the springtime, they said.

    What’s the worst that could happen, they said.

  31. avatar OlafPFJ says:

    “Damnit!! Someone go back to town and get a scheisseload of Hoppes!”

  32. avatar Cyril says:

    Quick, somebody switch this thing from suck to blow!

  33. avatar Nynemillameetuh says:

    If ve ver Sowjets, zee Amerikaners vudd give us zee Shermannsz!

  34. avatar Mk10108 says:

    Corrective action for Hans failed late night custom powder load.

  35. avatar VaqueroJustice says:

    I told you we shoulda bought a boresnake

  36. avatar Kyle Mitchell says:

    “Ach! I knew we should have sprung for the real stuff instead of canola oil!”

  37. avatar Ralph says:

    Max: “Ja, Klaus, ram it, ram it, ram it, just like back home with Magda.”

    Hans: “Who is Magda?’

    Max: “Klaus’ dachshund.”

  38. avatar Phil LA says:

    I never should’ve thrown away the manual.

  39. avatar jwm says:

    “I could be safe at home in Dresden.”

  40. avatar jwm says:

    Short arm inspection.

  41. avatar jwm says:

    “You know, Hans, the corporal was a douche when he said it. But this does kind of remind me of your wife.”

  42. avatar Paul53 says:

    Alas the German mobile sausage factory never caught on.

  43. avatar Tom D says:

    “We need that new cartridge technology!”

  44. avatar Todd PH says:

    Three half wits in a half track

  45. avatar Penetty says:

    Anyone else smell vegetable oil?

  46. avatar DerryM says:

    “You see? I TOLD you that barrel extender was too small, Manfred!!”

  47. avatar Drake says:

    “Stick that in Stalin’s pipe and smoke it, Hans!!!”

  48. avatar CarlosT says:

    Okay, now hand me the duct tape!

  49. avatar Cameron Molt says:

    No Hienz! The boresnake goes in the other way!

  50. avatar Dave says:

    This is what happens when a kinder gentler military switches to paintballs

  51. avatar Luke Yarasheski says:

    “Just the tip right?”

  52. avatar Nam62 says:

    “Hit that stuck HP round harder! “Hans”

  53. avatar jwm says:

    Pull out before it goes off.

    1. avatar LHW says:

      Don’t pull the trigger, M’kay.

  54. avatar jwm says:

    Well, there’s your problem.

  55. avatar J says:

    My barrel is not short! We just came out of a cold stream!

    1. avatar Chrispy says:

      “I was in the pool!!! There was shrinkage!!!”

  56. avatar JoeVK says:

    Near the end of the war, things were going so badly for German troops that they were forced to use improvised ammunition. The frozen chicken rounds were particularly dangerous, due to the risk of salmonella.

  57. avatar Jasonius says:


  58. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    the captain will never think to look here for the asbach…

  59. avatar AaronW says:

    The Dutch Boys marked their kill every time they flattened a store selling Benjamin Moore.

  60. avatar MikeyB says:

    You know that’s just Crisco, right.

  61. avatar Rick K says:

    Ok, I think we trapped the chipmunk, Now what?

  62. avatar 1919a6 says:

    I told the LT. rimed and rimless do not interchange!!

  63. avatar Rick K says:

    You sure the other guys heat their MREs like this Hans?

  64. avatar WmsDad says:

    Make sure that potato is rammed tight before I light the hairspray.

  65. avatar rob says:

    I see that Hans is getting ready for the next PANZERFAUST-ING!!

  66. avatar Rusty Chains says:

    The Producers nailed this one long ago:
    Springtime for Hitler and Germany
    Deutschland is happy and gay!

    1. avatar Indiana Tom says:

      Don’t be stupid, be a schmarty, come und join der Nazi party!

  67. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    You vould haf zu stuff die weinerschnitzel in der kannon fur your lunsch!

  68. avatar jwm says:

    Say “It’s not a job, it’s an adventure” 1 more time Hans and I swear this ramrod goes down your throat.

  69. avatar jwm says:

    ‘When can we start saying pew, pew, pew again?”

  70. avatar jwm says:

    The thing that goes up is busted.

  71. avatar rob says:

    Its not the size of your cannon that matters, Its how you use it!

  72. avatar SteveX says:

    Switching to the uber-deadly .9mm barrel.

  73. avatar Kevin says:

    ? It was a one eyed one horned polka dotted people shooter. ?

  74. avatar Gregolas says:

    Reloading a harpoon for The Great Landshark Hunt.

  75. avatar John says:

    It’s verstucken, now what?

  76. avatar Joker says:

    Frank, this is going to hurt a little.

  77. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “the ‘bang!’ banner hasn’t been unfurling lately…”

  78. avatar Tom R says:

    It was not until now that Hansel realized what the panzer division recruiter meant by the phrase ” you will be ramming more than you could ever dream”

  79. avatar Kluis says:

    I told you not to rub your tube against those loose tracks down at the motor pool.

  80. avatar jwm says:

    Why are the slavic sub humans rolling in brand new t-34’s and we master racers are using this cobbled together shit?

  81. avatar Jasonius says:


    That and the spots… Ja, it’s caught the Flecktarn.

  82. avatar rammerjammer says:

    Fritz, Gunther! Hold my beer and watch this!

  83. avatar jwm says:

    “Oh you. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang we love you. Oh you…..”

    “Shut the fuck up, Carl.”

  84. avatar Pat says:

    NOT…the whole I envisioned stuffing on R&R.

  85. avatar jwm says:

    You know why the German half track had white spots all over it?

    Cause those Russians kept coming……..

  86. avatar jwm says:

    Again with them negative waves, Moriarity.

  87. avatar Rebecca says:

    DAMNIT!!!!! I said clean it, not make love to it!!!

  88. avatar Miguel Salazar says:

    Wait, Fritz stuck his what in the barrel?

  89. avatar jmmy james says:

    Dis is vun helleva time to break in a new barrel.

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