We’ve all done things we’d prefer not to think about in order to get the attention of that special someone. Some lovelorn souls choose flowers to demonstrate their devotion. Others go with the old standby, chocolate. The truly inspired may put pen to paper and compose a little iambic pentameter. But when the one you want to woo is your wife, things can be a little more . . . difficult. Sometimes the tried and true just won’t get the job done and you need to take raise your game if you’re going to make a really effective impression. That seemed to be the problem Darren Hieber faced in trying to win back his estranged wife. So rather than messing around with something as pedestrian as a Hallmark card, he chose gunshot wounds instead . . .
Don’t worry, he didn’t shoot her. No, Darren’s way too intelligent for that. After all how many girls will come running back home after their husband sends a few pot shots in their direction? Instead, he figured he’d get her attention and some sympathy if he was the one with the bullet holes. So back in February he gave Brady Chapman, an employee of his trucking company, a rifle and asked him to shoot him in the leg. And Chapman, fulfilling the dream of so many working men and women, did as he was asked and shot his boss.
Unfortunately, the Mapleton, Iowa coppers weren’t fooled and Hieber and Chapman were charged with conspiracy, reckless use of a firearm and filing a false report early last week for the stunt. But Mrs. Hieber’s boy Darren is no quitter. That’s not how he was raised. From siouxcityjournal.com:
For the second time this month, charges have been filed against a Mapleton, Iowa, man accusing him of having someone shoot him in hopes of garnering sympathy from an ex-wife.
Investigators on Friday said Darren Hieber hired two men to shoot at him on Thursday morning in Mapleton.
That’s right, after claiming he’d been kidnapped and threatening relatives didn’t work, he recruited two dudes from Omaha with too much time on their hands to shoot him. Again.
Hieber was charged with felony intimidation with a dangerous weapon and conspiracy; two felony counts of solicitation; and four counts of felony extortion.
Joseph Roberts, 19, of Omaha, was charged with felony weapon and conspiracy charges. Timothy Culley, 19, of Omaha, was charged with felony conspiracy.
It’s sort of surprising that Hieber’s efforts haven’t brought his wife back to him. The way Darren figured it, there aren’t many things that will melt an angry spouse’s heart faster than a couple of gunshot wounds. After all that, can’t she see how much he wants her back? It seems there’s no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart.