The montgomeryadvertiser.com nails it—except for that bit about threatening to “hit” the cop with the gun.

An Ider town councilman faces felony charges after authorities said he threatened a police officer with a staple gun.

James “Snuffy” Smith is charged with felony second-degree assault and disorderly conduct and resisting arrest, both misdemeanors.

Town attorney Tommy French said Smith “had words” with Ider police officer Lee Harrison at Ider Town Hall sometime Thursday afternoon.

Harrison, a part time Ider officer, said that Smith shoved him and threatened to hit him with a staple gun.

Smith denies the assault.

Ider Mayor Brad Hannah said the matter is under investigation.

As the LA Times points out, the plastic surgeon claiming that D-cup breast implants saved shooting victim Lydia Carranza’s life has an axe to grind. So to speak. “Cosmetic surgeon {Dr. Ashkan Ghavami] hopes to drum up support to defray the costs of Carranza’s reconstructive surgery. ‘She’s just one lucky woman,’ said Dr. Ghavami, who says he will perform the surgery for next to nothing but has urged Carranza to tell her story in hopes of getting implant companies to donate the supplies.” Define “next to nothing.” It gets sillier from there. “Scott Reitz, a firearms instructor and deadly-force expert witness with 30 years’ experience in the LAPD, said that, although he was not involved in the case, the scenario Ghavami describes is entirely plausible. ‘Common sense would dictate that any time you have something that interrupts the velocity of the projectile, it would benefit the object it was trying to strike,’ he said. And because a saline implant is like a high-pressure bag full of salt water, it probably would provide more resistance than plain flesh, he said. ‘I don’t want to say a boob job is the equivalent of a bulletproof vest,’ he added. ‘So don’t go getting breast enhancements as a means to deflect a possible incoming bullet.'” Perish the thought.

More stories about the curvy cuties at Cowgirls Ranch where guys are only allowed to watch. Any guys who try to participate are fed a heaping helping of hot lead . . .

Desparados [sic] have raided the local model agency and stolen the payroll. Some of the models decide to form their own posse and bring in the outlaws for the reward on their heads.

A gun battle erupts outside the bunkhouse. One by one, girls on both sides fall in a hail of bullets until the last of the models rushes the bunkhouse with guns blazing.

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