Dude, Where’s My AK-47?


I’ll go out on a limb here and assume you’re aware that the economy’s not so hot. And that the likelihood of college grads snagging full-time employment that doesn’t require wearing a paper hat is pretty slim. One tried and true way for undergrads to improve their chances of getting hired after they’re handed a diploma is a summer internship. Sure, you probably won’t be paid, but at least you’re getting some real world experience, right? Chris Jeon, being the proactive type he is, decided to create his own internship fighting with Libyan rebels as his summer vacay wound down…

“It is the end of my summer vacation, so I thought it would be cool to join the rebels. This is one of the only real revolutions” in the world.

Sure, fighting Ghaddafi’s loyalists across the Libyan desert might not translate into the kind of employment a UCLA math major would find fulfilling, but with things the way they are, you have to do what you have to do.

Not that Chris had any previous military experience. This was strictly an on-the-job-training opportunity.

“How do you fire this thing?” he asked on Wednesday as a bearded rebel handed him an AK-47. Locating the trigger of the assault rifle and switching off the safety, Mr Jeon fired it in the air in two short bursts.

He did get to the party a little late, though. In fact, by the time he arrived, he’d missed most of the fun. But he still got to see and do some things his fellow Bruins probably missed while they were answering phones and building spreadsheets during their internships.

Although Mr. Jeon did not arrive in Libya in time to catch the liberation of Tripoli, he has seen history unfold. He was aboard one of the first cars to roar into An Nawfiliyah last weekend, armed with his shotgun and a camera that no longer works because the battery is dead. “I have great footage,” he said.

Fortunately, though, his fellow freedom fighters took to him right away.

His new mates have even bestowed on him a moniker that is a mish-mash of the names of local tribes and areas: Ahmed El Maghrabi Saidi Barga. When communication invariably reaches an impasse, he merely repeats his name and the rebels erupt in raucous cheers.

There appears to be no truth to the rumor that the name can also be translated, “douchey math geek playing soldier.”

The fall term starts in two weeks back in L.A. so Jeon will have to abandon his comrades in arms soon. And while mom and dad don’t know where he’s been, he’ll be able to write a pretty interesting ‘what I did on my summer vacation’ essay when he gets back for that last damned writing intensive elective he needs to graduate.


  1. avatar Ralph says:

    It’s gonna look great on his resume and will help get him through the interviews. “Do I work well under pressure? Well, I did fine when Ghaddafi’s soldiers were firing at me, so I think I can handle an irate customer.”

  2. avatar TTACer says:

    Hopefully Steve Earle won’t be writing a song about him in a couple of years.

  3. avatar Chris Dumm says:

    I see another P.J. O’Rourke or Bill Plympton in training, but only if he’s a good writer. Otherwise, I see another reality-TV whore in the making.

  4. avatar Aaron says:

    Well, the Libyan rebels proved that they’re a group with a pretty big tent.

  5. avatar hello says:

    He’s gonna end up like Pat Tillman. Knowing dam well his ass isn’t suppose to be over there and catch some hot lead.

    1. avatar Papa Ray says:

      Tillman knew what he was doing. Giving up a promising life that was assured. He never ever thought that “his ass” was not supposted to be over there. He wanted to be there and I can tell you that for damn sure.

      Please think before you type such stupid remarks.

      Papa Ray

      1. avatar hello says:

        If you get shot up by your own people when you could have been playing football on Sundays, you’re suppose to be there.

        1. avatar BlueGoldFish says:

          hello, you’re likely as ignorant as your grammar would indicate.

        2. avatar hello says:

          So does that mean you agree or disagree?

  6. avatar Papa Ray says:

    Believe it or not, the real story here is that he made the initial decision. Of course at the time he didn’t really believe that his life really would or could be in danger. But still, he made that decision.

    How does one do that? Maybe like thousands of kids did back in my war, long ago and far away. We decided not for the reasons that many thought, such as patriotism, valor or the flag. But because we needed something more that staying home and working at the burger stand, or in the fields of corn or at a mundane job doing whatever, Maybe what we wanted was Adventure, the unknown, the challenge, the camaraderie plus a dash or to of the danger. Maybe or maybe not those were the reasons.
    We didn’t really think to much about it when we signed our names and raised our right hands. Maybe it was just the spirit of the moment.

    Now decades later I could not tell you why we went. But I for one would not give those memories away for any amount of money nor forget my buds, especially since many didn’t come home with me.

    Life is a mystery, especially to young kids. But it is their mystery, their journey to make. Right or wrong.
    Papa Ray

  7. avatar Eric says:

    In other news, a female college student also tried to join.

    After they raped her, they stoned her for being a whore.

  8. avatar willis says:

    As he’ll soon be saying at McDonalds: Semper Fry!

  9. avatar crypticguise says:

    This young man is an IDIOT! How naive and unaware of reality are our “educated” children?

  10. avatar Jim says:

    “Real Revolution” my ass. When your rebels set up a central bank before setting up a government….something is fishy.

  11. avatar Ralph says:

    I’d be much more impressed with him if he joined OUR army.

    1. avatar Synova says:

      Our army comes with a four year minimum commitment followed by four years minimum reserve commitment. And then you go where they send you.

      There are also a whole lot of people who are perfectly healthy who can’t pass the physical.

      I’m not disagreeing, I hope you realize. I’m always more impressed with people who join up than with those who don’t. I just thought I’d point out that there are practical reasons to do one instead of the other.

      1. avatar Lorenzo Poe says:

        Wrong. 8 year total commitment. Divided 2+6, or 3+5 or 4+4, but then the way deployments come around most extend for a year or six months to complete a tour then come back and go IRR, which means they could get called up but prolly not.

      2. avatar Ralph says:

        Synova, Jeon talks a good game, so maybe he’s sincere. I hope so, and I wish him well. Is he just a poser, or an idiot, or a balloonhead? I don’t know the answer to those questions, but I would know the answers if he had made a commitment to our armed forces.

  12. avatar 101abn says:

    Myself, and others transferred from the 173rd Abn, signed waivers to go Vietnam, just to avoid a AGI coming up at the 101st. Bullshit motivates. One prime rule in life, never believe your own bullshit, much less anybody else. Get over it, it was just a job. Team work in civilian life pales by comparison, if this guy learned anything about real team work, it will stand him in good stead later. For those of you that have never “taken the cork out of the elephant’s ass”, go play in the quicksand.

  13. avatar Joe Bar says:

    Whatever. Join the Army, go infantry and do it right. Then I’ll respect him. Otherwise, he’s just another target.

  14. avatar bill says:

    “Mr Jeon fired it in the air in two short bursts.”

    Another college educated moron…those bullets come down somewhere.

    1. avatar Gerald says:

      To be frank, this is Libya. His two short bursts are only a drop in the lake full of metal that has fallen on the country.

  15. avatar ErikZ says:

    I don’t get it. Why is everyone so upset at this guy?

  16. avatar Dave King says:

    Nice that he had the money to travel. Or maybe his student loans covered it.

  17. avatar Robert Snyder says:

    It’s hard for us here to figure out what his real motives are. Do they matter?Bottom line – he’s helping out some people who need help. Remember the “Lincoln Brigade” of writers, musicians, and other ordinary Americans who thought it was their duty to help out during the Spanish Civil War? I have wondered, if we are indeed a country of liberty-loving people, why there was no group of average Americans helping out. So, here is one guy – good for him! His presence redeems us to those around the world who still believe that the U.S. stands for something. When I was his age, I almost went to Afghanistan to help the Mujahidiin against the Soviets. He has the drive and resourcefulness I lacked. Good for him.

    – An Airborne Infantryman with a CIB (just like the Jodie)

  18. avatar Orvil says:

    “How do you fire this thing?” he asked on Wednesday as a bearded rebel handed him an AK-47. Locating the trigger of the assault rifle and switching off the safety, Mr Jeon fired it in the air in two short bursts.”

    Will we be seeing Mr Jeon in an upcoming Irresponsible Gun Owner segment? Or does he get a free pass?

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      We can cut him a bit of slack. There aren’t a lot of gun ranges in Libya, and no NRA-certified instructors.

  19. avatar Andy says:

    Have a Mak-90 that is now section 922 compliant,rear collapseable m-4 type stock,tapco rear pistol grip,Tekko front handguard,Tapco short front pistol grip,and ProMag 30round mags.Thinking about a red dot sight, and a rail mount.The Mak-90 is heavier than other stamped reciever AK’,as the reciever is thicker than others.This one is more accurate than some I have heard about,the inside is clean,and smooth,never had a jam,easy to clean and keep up.Great rifle if you have a chance to buy one you wouldn’t be disappointed.Keep your powder dry.

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