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The St. Augustine Record: Fudds R Us

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A Fudd is a gun owner who supports gun control, named after Looney Tunes’ hapless hunter Elmer Fudd. When a Fudd takes to the media to promote “sensible gun safety legislation,” he or she must first submit their firearms credentials. Like this: “I was raised around guns. I didn’t know until I was a teen that you could hunt rabbits during the daytime. It was years later when I discovered that jack-lighting marsh rabbits was frowned upon in a civilized society and by the former Game and Freshwater Fish Commission.” Oooh! A law breaking Fudd! Who does go on a bit . . .

I keep a revolver in my night stand and a carry pistol close by (and the license to use it). I own two center-fire rifles and two rimfire .22’s. One would be considered a baby assault rifle, depleting a 30-round clip in about the time it takes to chug a beer competition-style.

Being a scattergun aficionado, I have 13 shotguns, none semi-automatic and most what would be considered antique-ish — Winchester Model 12s and 42s — none manufactured after 1945. They are a joy to shoot. And, while being 65-plus-year-old pump guns, most “assault weapon” opponents don’t know that the old Model 12s can “slam-fire” five shells as fast as an automatic.

I’ve given money to the NRA from time to time and have the free emblazoned tote bags to prove it.

True to Fudd form, staugustine.com‘s Jim Sutton calls ammunition magazines “clips.” He doesn’t own any of them newfangled semi-automatic shotguns  or “military-style” assault rifles or “assault shotguns” (a term only occasionally found in anti-gun agitprop, but you know what I mean).

Apparently, Stutton is licensed to use that bedside revolver (00 rating unspecified). Best of all, the Florida native is a member of the NRA! Well a tote-bag toting contributor, anyway. Remember: The Brady Campaign et al. are attempting to convince themselves and voters that there are “common sense” equipped gun owners – even within the terrorist organization (their words not mine) known as the NRA.

Taken as a whole, Jim’s a throughly modern antiquated Fudd. He fits right into the gun control advocates’ playbook. Especially when he goes full Fudd.

I parted ways with the NRA for a while when it pushed the legalization of body armor-piercing bullets for Joe Citizen. Never mind that their street names were “cop killers” and there’s no animal out in our woods with Kevlar hide.

Hang on a gol durn minute there, Elmer! The NRA didn’t push for the legalization of armor-piercing bullets. They pushed for hollow-point handgun ammunition not to be made illegal (as they are in New Jersey). Hollow points are more effective at stopping a threat and reducing over-penetration problems (i.e. shooting a bad guy and a good guy). That’s why police use them.

I wonder if Sutton is aware that most rifle rounds are “armor piercing.” Hey Jim! What caliber are those two center-fire rifles of yours anyway? *crickets* OK, then, back to the anti-gun Gallactica . . .

Last year you may remember that [Florida] legislators sought to allow students at state colleges and universities to carry handguns.

The thought was that when that crazy-militiaman-mass-shooter showed up, the students could kill him before he did too much damage.

There are more than a few problems with that. The first is that most thinking people would see the danger signs of drunken frat parties with kids carrying .38 Specials in their togas.

But the real problem is two-fold. First and foremost, is if you’re not ready and willing to use a handgun against an assailant — immediately and without any indecision — the better odds are you’ll be killed by the other guy.

Often the seconds of indecision result in having your gun taken from you — and used on you. Cops have trouble fixing that finite time between decision and death, either the other guy’s or their own. And they’ve been drilled on that point to a fault.

Secondly, how many times have you heard of police shootouts with an armed assailant in which 25 or 30 rounds were fired within seconds, with perhaps one slug putting the bad guy down.

Shooting in real-life, real-time, real-consequence situations is anything but exact. And again, cops train at the range — a lot.

Yup. It’s ye olde alcohol-fueled, toga-clad, Animal House-inspired frat members packing .38 specials argument against allowing adult Americans the right to keep and bear arms. [Note to Jim: I love my .38 Smith & Wesson 642 revolver, but most kids, I mean, 21-year-olds, are partial to the new compact 9mm semis. Just sayin’.]

As for Jimbo’s contention that a good guy with a gun is too slow off the draw to do any good, horse manure. Also, so what? Is it better to die unarmed than to have a fighting chance to save your own life and the lives of other innocents around you?

But the best bit is Sutton’s admission that super-de-dooperly trained cops – who go the range “a lot” [not] – can’t shoot for sh-t, therefore inexperienced “kids” can’t defend themselves with a gun either. (I guess the .38 Special ain’t that special after all.) And this bit of Jim’s argument is in a class of its own, somewhere between complete ignorance and straight up stupid.

But there’s another twist to the new bill. It would also allow open carry in public places. Even Old West sheriffs took the guns away from cowpokes when they came riding into town after a dusty week on the trail.

But do we want to have residents walking St. George Street with a toddler on one hip and a pistol on the other?

I guess the idea is that it’s better for law enforcement to know exactly who has a gun, rather than having handguns concealed from them.

But I wonder how our sheriff’s deputies or city police would feel pulling an overtime security detail at a Francis Field event with a dozen armed revelers hitting the Bud Light tap and wolfing down funnel cakes.

Again with the alcohol. Maybe Jim has a particular fondness for drink? That’s a guess. As is his belief that open carry leads to blood running in the streets. Perhaps the columnist could warm up his steam-driven computer, hit Google and investigate the impact of open carry on public safety in those states where it’s already the rule of law (e.g., Arizona). Bueller?

OK then. Let me close with this last correction, then. Sheriff’s deputies will feel great at a Francis Field event with open carry. They’ll be making a ton of money AND it adds to their pensionable hours. What’s not to love? Over to you Elmer.

 

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