There’s nothing quite like being condescended to and sneered at by an effete “humor” columnist as he shakes his head and tsk-tsks at the spectacle of all the rubes out there responding rationally to violence in the streets and civil unrest.
According to FBI data, nearly 3 million firearm background checks were conducted in May, a 32% jump over the same month last year. And according to the National Shooting Sports Foundation (I’m a member, but mainly for the cool T-shirts), the first half of this year brought in more than 2.5 million first-time gun owners.
YEEE-HAHHHH! PEW-PEW-PEW!!
Here in Illinois, according to a Tribune report, the Illinois State Police said “more than 40,000 Illinoisans applied for a gun permit in a little more than two weeks this month, more than 500% over this time last year.”
This is obviously great news. You don’t have to be an expert on social stability to know the best way to calm a nervous, angry nation is to add a few million additional lethal firearms into the mix.
And besides, it’s our constitutional right to shoot at anything that comes on our property, whether it’s a coronavirus, a scary person yelling things we disagree with or a horde of Marxists trying to tear down the 16-foot Elvis statue in my front yard.
Sure, you could take the latte-liberal approach and direct your fears into action, finding proactive ways to improve communities and better understand either the pandemic or the root causes of the ongoing protests, but that sounds like something a French person would do.
– Rex Huppke in Column: America responds to protests & coronavirus by stocking up on guns – I must protect my Elvis statue!