“A man carrying an umbrella at N.C. A&T on Friday morning may have triggered [so to speak] a nearly three-hour lockdown at the campus and eight nearby public schools,” news-record.com reports. “Campus police made that determination after reviewing video footage from about the time the 911 call was received, A&T police Chief Glenn Newell said at a news conference. Two A&T staff members reported at 9:16 a.m. that a man entered the General Classroom Building carrying a rifle, Newell said. A man matching the person’s description, but carrying an umbrella, was seen on the video.” This is not the first time “assault” umbrellas have caused undue alarm. Parapluie panic also afflicted East Carolina University and the Rochester Institute of Technology (not to mention the Burlington Mall in Massachusetts). Perhaps it’s time to make schools umbrella-free zones.