In response to calls from the president, vice president and gun-grabbers nationwide to purge the country of “military-style assault weapons”, a reader writes:
I demand a ban on ALL military-style things. Here’s the list I have started:
Military Internet Protocols The IP protocol was first used by the military to keep our nuclear arms at the ready if we were under attack. No one “needs” hardware and software originally meant for post-nuclear warfare, right?
Military Global Positioning Hardware Originally built to guide tanks and bombs, this military-style hardware is built for war. No one “needs” electronic global positioning – what’s wrong with a paper map?
Military Jet Engines Seriously people, there isn’t any reason we “need” jet engines for our airlines. Those noisy, dangerous and fast engines fly planes at speeds that no one “needs” to travel.
Military Camouflage This is my biggest pet peeve – ever since the military-style camouflage became a must-have for deer hunters, it has lead to millions of deer fatalities. Every year in Wisconsin alone, over 100,000 deer die of camouflage-related deaths. This is military-style hardware at its worst and I demand a stop be put to it.
Sincerely,
Dr. Nee-Jerq Reacshion
Feel free to add to the list in the comments.