While We’re Getting Rid of All Those “Military Style” Rifles . . .

In response to calls from the president, vice president and gun-grabbers nationwide to purge the country of “military-style assault weapons”, a reader writes:

I demand a ban on ALL military-style things. Here’s the list I have started:

Military Internet Protocols The IP protocol was first used by the military to keep our nuclear arms at the ready if we were under attack. No one “needs” hardware and software originally meant for post-nuclear warfare, right?

Military Global Positioning Hardware Originally built to guide tanks and bombs, this military-style hardware is built for war. No one “needs” electronic global positioning – what’s wrong with a paper map?

Military Jet Engines  Seriously people, there isn’t any reason we “need” jet engines for our airlines. Those noisy, dangerous and fast engines fly planes at speeds that no one “needs” to travel.

Military Camouflage  This is my biggest pet peeve – ever since the military-style camouflage became a must-have for deer hunters, it has lead to millions of deer fatalities. Every year in Wisconsin alone, over 100,000 deer die of camouflage-related deaths. This is military-style hardware at its worst and I demand a stop be put to it.


Dr. Nee-Jerq Reacshion

Feel free to add to the list in the comments. 


  1. avatar BlinkyPete says:

    Man. Best thing I’ve read all week.

  2. avatar imrambi says:

    We can include computers, and smart phones (as smart phones are a child of computers). Computers were made for military first, and used to military only applications.

    1. avatar BlinkyPete says:

      Ironically enough, one of the things that weren’t invented purely for the military are semi-automatic rifles. That fact couldn’t possibly be lost on anti’s, could it?

      1. avatar Kory says:

        May I say M1-Garand? Where do you get your info?

        1. avatar otalps says:

          Winchester 1903’s, 1905’s and Remington Model 8’s were available for the civilian market while the military was still using bolt actions. 3o some odd years before the Garand.

        2. avatar TSgt B says:

          John Moses Browning patented a modification of a Winchester lever action rifle that cycled the action by using gases at the muzzle. In the late 1800’s.

      2. avatar borekfk says:

        What about the Mondragon rifle? Still, the fact that hunters had semi-autos before the US Military is saying something.

    2. avatar David PA/NJ says:

      Pretty much every physical object in our society today can be traced back to some military technological routes.

  3. avatar OkieRim says:

    then get rid of the entire internet, obviously since we are in love all around the world we no longer need something invented for the Dept of defense.

    1. avatar Randy [Bullitt.44] says:

      The internet couldn’t have been invented by the Universities or the DOD.
      Have you all forgotten that AL GORE invented the internent.

    2. avatar William says:

      They’d LOVE to.

  4. avatar theaton says:

    While IP was used by the military, it was not first used by the military. It was first used in a few Universities across the nation.

    1. avatar imrambi says:

      It was created under the DoD for research.

      1. avatar David PA/NJ says:

        Exactly, universities only research topics where they can get grant money to do it. Universities developed the technology with grant money from DoD…

      2. avatar David Trest says:

        Incorrect. TCP/IP was NOT invented by the DoD. DARPANET was invented by them, but that was a good 20 years before TCP/IP came around. DARPANET used modems and phone lines to communicate over protocols that predated TCP/IP. TCP/IP didn’t come until the 1980s and by then the whole “Internet” had been primarily taken over by universities and private entities.

    2. avatar Dyspeptic Gunsmith says:

      And large computer companies (eg, Xerox, DEC, HP), defense think-tanks (BBN, SRI), some agencies (DDN, DIA)…

      The mythology that it was “just universities” is promulgated by universities, who really don’t like all those icky people with nuclear weapons, but I assure you, there were people who wore uniforms on the Internet before it was opened to the public.

      1. avatar theaton says:

        Yes, there were people in uniforms that used it before the public. However, the military didn’t use it before Universities. The military didn’t use it until the Universities had gotten it working. My only point was that the military were not the first to use IP. I don’t work for DoD but I do work for a DoEnergy contractor in high performance computing and networking.

        1. avatar Joseph B Campbell says:

          Same difference.

    3. avatar OK S. says:

      If I recall correctly, it was sometime in the early 80’s that the Department of Defense allowed civilians to use ARPANET for anything not under the authority of the DoD. The DoD side became MILNET after that. As far as I remember.

  5. avatar tdiinva says:

    I don’t see why deer hunters use camouflage at all. Deer are colorblind and besides that bright orange vest is a dead giveaway.

    1. avatar DrewN says:

      No one I know hunts deer hunts in camo. We all pretty much prefer wool and usually can be found sporting red & black mackinaws and hideous orange beanies with a brim.

      1. avatar B says:

        Dang, so that’s why I haven’t been able to bag any deer wearing my bright orange gillie suit?

      2. avatar tdiinva says:

        Nor do I. As with everything gun related my hunting wardrope comes from LL Bean.

    2. avatar WLCE says:


      good point. i just orvis and woolrich it up when i deer hunt.

    3. avatar Alan Rose says:

      It’s “traditional.” Hunters of course hunted deer for a long time before camo came along. Some hunters probably thought it would help, before they knew about deer colorblindness, and now it’s been institutionalized by the hunting apparel manufacturers. Of course if you turkey hunt, why have different clothes for different game? And it does come in handy when you rise up against the government…

  6. avatar Aharon says:

    The federal government essentially funds the annual military budget with USG international bonds (worth nothing and backed up by nothing but worthless FRN (federal reserve notes*) that it ‘sells’ to foreign governments. I demand a ban on all people living beyond their material needs and for them to stop living on so-called credit which is really financial debt slavery.

    *Perhaps when the USG/America eventually defaults on the ability and obligation to re-pay those loans (since the FRN will be Weimer-Republic worthless) China, Saudi Arabia, and Japan can be calmed down by bartering with things like Alaska and Hawaii.

    1. avatar Charles5 says:

      Not Alaska! Give them California instead. They can have Hawaii for all I care.

  7. avatar Joseph B Campbell says:

    Such beautiful sarcasm is wasted on the knowing!

  8. avatar Pascal says:

    Wondering how many anti’s would like to deny this:


    In Italy, the AR-15 rifle belongs to B7 class and can be owned by civilians, provided it doesn’t shoot full auto. Like every other gun it must be registered and to purchase it citizens must have a valid license, which is granted to every person who qualifies. Most of the rifles are in .223, but 5.56×45 is also allowed. Since long arms with a caliber bigger than .22 are considered hunting weapons, it is possible to own unlimited AR-15s as they are hunting rifles according to the law.

    Hey, we want to follow the Europeans, the Italians see and AR-15 as a hunting rifle — imagine that!

    1. avatar Aharon says:

      “In Italy, the AR-15 rifle belongs to B7 class and can be owned by civilians, provided it doesn’t shoot full auto”

      mikeb, the resident TTAG anti-gun nut, lives in Italy. His neighbors probably own AR-15s!

      1. avatar AznMike says:

        Lol, yeah that was what I was thinking. The second I read Italy, I thought “Doesn’t MikeB#s live in Italy? Wonder if he knows about this? Maybe I should post this on his facebook page…” but that’s not gonna happen as I would have to go to his page, which seems like a bad idea.

      2. avatar Kat says:

        Then I’d suggest Mike B, get that morning paper in the drive way really quick.

  9. avatar O.E says:

    Better not mention roads, otherwise you’ll all be passive fascistic about your daily route to work.

    1. avatar Thomas Paine says:

      want even less government?
      federal funding for roads wasn’t introduced until 1916.
      try free market roads:


      1. avatar O.E says:

        Oh look, more theory.

    2. avatar Gruntus Maximus says:

      The entire field of civil engineering started out as military engineering. So yeah, roads, bridges, water purification, sewage disposal etc. These were all things that came from military need and was then adopted by the civilian populace as a “nice to have”

  10. avatar Mike K. says:

    We should ban all military style medical devices and trauma care. ‘Regular’ civilians should not have access to something that was developed by the military for use in war.

    1. avatar Swarf says:

      No more triage at the ER.

      1. avatar Gyufygy says:

        No more concussion data for the NFL.

    2. avatar In Memphis says:

      I guess Ill just take my time transporting critical patients as the “golden hour” would no longer be relevant.

      1. avatar P says:

        The golden hour never WAS relevant.

    3. avatar juliesa says:

      No more Life Flight airlifts. No more blood clotting powder. We could go on all day.

    4. avatar WLCE says:

      your israeli bandages and quick clot…turn it in!

  11. avatar OK S. says:

    And let’s not forget this misuse of Military Garb: Man Killed while Impersonating Bigfoot

    1. avatar O.E says:

      Im still mad about the Right wing entertaining pistol REPLICA’s originated from Leftist counties. Despite fact that GUN REPLICA’s, CUT AWAYS, MARKER TRAINING GUNS and BLANK ammunition is used by the hurpadurpa all knowing all wise Military.

  12. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    TANG was invented for space exploration and dominance over the world. We need to get rid of all things freeze dried since they are a holdover of our colonial aspirations . . . . .

  13. avatar Thomas Paine says:

    Whenever someone asks “do you really NEED _______?”
    you should reply : “Who should determines what YOU need?”
    The answer always is:
    “I do.”
    point proven.

    1. avatar Kelly in GA says:

      ^^^ This ^^^

    2. avatar Weisshaupt says:

      Actually, the best response is “Why did Rosa Parks NEED to sit in the front of that bus?” Because its my inalienable right to decide what I feel I need to protect my family from Self-righteous Fascist Totalitarian Tyrants like you.

  14. avatar g says:

    Military style MEAT in a can: we all know SPAM is crazy delicious, especially with eggs and rice, but it’s loaded with dangerous stuff like salt and fat!

    We don’t need meat in a can! BAN IT!

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      They can have my Spam when they pry it from my cold, dead hands. Probably from taking a stroke from all the salt.

    2. avatar In Memphis says:

      So no more CCMG Tactical Bacon? 🙁

  15. avatar Skeev says:

    Military Internet Protocols: Do you realize how many people die due to the internet? Either by trying stunts they’ve seen on You Tube or from suicides due to jilted online romance. If it saves one life…..

    Military Global Positioning Hardware: How many people die in car accidents due to faulty GPS or by following it blindly. Just last year a woman was killed when she turned on to a railroad track because the GPS told her to turn right. If it saves one life…..

    Military Jet Engines: Do we really need to talk about airline fatalities? Faster planes gain higher altitude and make it near impossible to survive a crash. If it saves one life…..

    Military Camouflage: Besides the obvious deer fatalities it can be hard to see others in the woods when shooting. Ban camo and make everyone wear orange jumpsuits. If it saves one life…..

  16. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    GI Joe dolls, er, I mean Action Figures. These are based on military stuff, throw these in the purging fire as well!

  17. avatar Aharon says:

    Ban all undersea research vessels which all derived from the Navy’s submarines.

  18. avatar Gyufygy says:

    Get rid of the entire Jeep brand! All of it!

    1. avatar Randy [Bullitt.44] says:

      The Jeep will soon be made in China anyway. Announcement has been made by the CEO.

      1. avatar Christopher says:

        Jeeps will only be manufactured in China for the Chinese market. Read the WHOLE article. Honda, Toyota, Hyundai, Mercedes, BMW and others have done well building cars in the USA for the American market, why shouldn’t Jeep do the same thing in China?

  19. avatar mountocean says:

    How about military-style police forces.

  20. avatar Gib says:

    Actually a great many of modern society’s everyday “tools” and conveniences owe their origins to the demands of the WWII battlefield and military applications. Let’s not forget that evil “Assault Tape”:

    Duct tape was first created and manufactured in 1942 (approximate date) by the Johnson and Johnson Permacel Division. Its closest predecessor was medical tape. The original use was to keep moisture out of the ammunition cases. Because it was waterproof, people referred to the tape as “Duck Tape.” Also, the tape was made using cotton duck – similar to what was used in their cloth medical tapes. Military personnel quickly discovered that the tape was very versatile and used it to fix their guns, jeeps, aircraft, etc. After the war, the tape was used in the booming housing industry to connect heating and air conditioning duct work together. Soon, the color was changed from Army green to silver to match the ductwork and people started to refer to duck tape as “Duct Tape.” Things changed during the 1970s, when the partners at Manco, Inc. placed rolls of duct tape in shrink wrap, making it easier for retailers to stack the sticky rolls. Different grades and colors of duct tape weren´t far behind. Soon, duct tape became the most versatile tool in the household.

    1. avatar Kelly in GA says:

      We must ban duck tape that comes in rolls longer than 10″, so nobody can be bound and suffocated with it. We must also limit purchases to one roll per month and have a two roll per household limit. If it saves one potential hostage…

  21. avatar Justin Syder says:


    Dr. Nee-Jerq Reacshion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  22. avatar Ralph says:

    Forget “military style.” Just ban the military and have done with it. Let’s face it — when you endow your military with weapons suitable only for war, they’re apt to do it.

    1. avatar O.E says:

      “They can because, they can.”

  23. avatar Jon says:

    Really??? Dumbest thing I have read today!!!

  24. avatar PeterTheFish says:

    What I don’t understand is why the second amendment seems to be the only one where ‘need’ is brought into the argument.

    My wife certainly doesn’t NEED to be a Hindu. She could probably get her spiritual fulfillment as a Buddhist, or in a Catholic church. The WBC doesn’t NEED to protest military funerals, but this lack of need doesn’t stop us from protecting their ability to exercise their rights. And hey, government tyranny seems unlikely these days – we really don’t NEED freedom of the press to stop it anymore.

  25. avatar William says:

    That’s one of them ASSAULT GPS UNITS. MAKE IT GO AWAY!!

  26. avatar Lance says:

    That case liberals should ban the military. No more troops no new surplus.

  27. avatar TexanHawk says:

    For the horsemen, you can count saddles, bits, spurs, and stirrups. All designed for their military applications.

  28. avatar Chad says:

    Don’t forget interstate highways! They were originally intended to be closed off in case of emergency to allow military supplies and equipment to be moved easily to areas of the country where needed. After all, no one needs to travel by car at such ridiculous speeds.

  29. avatar kevin says:

    im calling for a ban on all fast or cool cars, nobody “needs” anything fancy to get to work or get grocories. hyundia elantra’s for all i say. Just like we the people would have to hire the military and police for our everyday protection after a weapons ban, we can hire them to pick up a load of firewood, shingles, ect… too.

  30. avatar Liberty2Alpha says:

    Who needs a 30 gallon gas tank? 10 is enough.

    Who needs an 80 gallon water heater? 20 is enough (and greener too.)

    Who needs to pray 5 times a day? 2 is enough.


  31. avatar Anmut says:

    Whomever wrote this is an absolute genius. 🙂

  32. avatar bigcuz says:

    Don’t forget 4WD and AWD vehicles as well as Hummers and every other SUV in existence.

    1. avatar Jarhead1982 says:

      Dude, please dont tell my missus they are banning Hummers;P She will kill me stocking up on Hummers, Oh you meant the SUV!

  33. avatar Bhesler says:

    Someone beat me to Jeep and Hummer, but add German Shepherd, Belgian Malinois, epaulets…

  34. avatar Cassandra (of Troy) says:

    I like the camo ban proposal & suggest that it be linked to an ‘armor-piercing ammo’ ban that covers ANY ammo that can penetrate Level 1 body armor, & ANY firearm which has been used by the military of ANY country should naturally be verboten along with ALL pointed/edged weapons EVER used by same.

    Remember,: “If it saves ONE life, it’s worth it!”.

  35. avatar Alan Rose says:

    Let’s just ban anything invented since 1776, and surrender to the British.

  36. avatar Jerryboy says:

    you guys may just be joking about this now, but consider this: once our guns are gone, what’s to stop the government from taking any and all of these suggestions to heart?

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