In its ongoing and largely successful effort to be the only profitable company in America (excluding Apple, which is now worth more than Belize), Ruger is introducing yet another self-defense weapon: the Ultra Pepper Spray System. I know that some of you are waiting for the Super Mega Ultra Premium Pepper Spray System, but this one’s got a lot to recommend it. Or, more precisely, a lot . . .
There’s a built-in a 125 decibel alarm which generates the same amount of sound as a pneumatic riveter at four feet; roughly 35db more than enough to inflict hearing loss on all concerned. The UPS also boasts a strobe light bright enough to disorient a Studio 21 survivor. And then, finally, pepper spray that fires out to 15 feet with liquid that inflicts two million Scoville heat units on Mr. Bad Guy.
Fine print: the whole thing’s a rebranding exercise. “Ruger® branded pepper spray products are powered by Tornado® – a leader and innovator in the pepper spray personal defense product industry.” That little Ruger badge will cost you an additional $5 ($29.95 vs. $25 for the Tornado at Amazon). Worth it? We report, we deride.