Sometimes you just can’t catch a break. No matter what you think, the rock and roll lifestyle’s not an easy one. Have you seen Keith Richards? Traveling all the time. Never knowing what city you’re in. Halfheartedly fending off groupies. It all takes a toll. You need to relax and blow off some steam sometimes. Then someone offers to take you out for some shooty fun. A bunch of them are cops and former cops. They take you to a private, cops-only range. No problem, right? Well, there’s one problem…
The problem is you’re a felon. And no matter where you go, someone always has a camera. After Motley Crue and Poison played a date in Charlotte, NC, headliners Tommy Lee and Bret Michaels were guests at the Rowan County Police Officers Lodge range where much shooting and fun took place. And pictures too.
And Tommy Lee’s a convicted felon. Which means he’s not supposed to even hold a gun. The local cops could probably be forgiven for not knowing his record. All they did was invite a celebrity who was in town for an afternoon of boomenshutzen.
Except…nothing stays private anymore. Not when you’re as famous as Tommy Lee. Not in the age of Facebook and Twitter. TV station WSOC heard about the range trip, got a hold of some of the pics and asked local cops about it. Oops.
Now someone has to determine if something untoward happened. Tempest in a teapot? Sure. Would WSOC criticize the cops for investigating themselves. With glee.
So, finding himself on the horns of a dilemma, Rowan County Sherriff Kevin Auten wanted to keep things arms length, on the up-and-up, above board and without even a hint of impropriety.
Considering all his options, he decided the only thing to do is to call in the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms. Because when you think rectitude, propriety and investigative transparency, you think the ATF. Don’t you?
So officers from the Spencer Police Department, Salisbury Police Department and Rowan County Sheriff’s Office are about to get the full federal colonoscopy. WSOC will have a lot of fun following the proceedings and crowing that they’re the ones who brought this threat to national security to light. But there might be a bright side to all of this. With ATF agents busy looking into these modern-day Dillingers, maybe they’ll have less time to send guns to Mexico and Honduras.
UPDATE: FREE BRET AND TOMMY!