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School Forces 5-Year-Old to Sign Anti-Murder/Suicide Contract After Pointing a Crayon

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“My child interrupted us and said, ‘what is suicide? Mommy, daddy, what is suicide?'” Let no one say that the modern public school system isn’t educating its young charges on the important aspects of life. A Mobile Alabama girl (and her mother) got some valuable insights into the anti-gun indoctrination process last week. When E.R. Dickson Elementary’s principal was presented with the case of a particularly threatening 5-year-old girl who aimed a crayon and said, “pew, pew,” Katryna Kinn did what any good government functionary would do: she broke out the legal documentation . . .

Without her permission, [the girl’s mother] says her five-year-old was then given this Mobile County Public Schools safety contract to sign, stating that she wouldn’t kill herself or others.

“While I was in the lobby waiting, they had my five-year-old sign a contact about suicide and homicide,” she said.

Put yourself in principal Kinn’s post-Newtown shoes for a moment. The potential damage a little girl could do at a school like E.R. Dickson (“Committed to Excellence”) with a standard capacity Binney & Smith has to give a zero tolerance elementary school executive pause. And we hear Caribbean Green can be particularly devastating.

So that explains why the first matter of business, once Principal Kinn got little Elizabeth into her office, was to coerce the 5-year-old into signing a contract obligating the vicious little miscreant to refrain from killing herself or someone else. At least until she’s old enough to move on to a middle school where it would be another highly trained educational professional’s problem.

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