“And that’s the truth. Literally, not allowed. My wife won’t let me have a gun. Not sure I want a gun, but it doesn’t matter. Not allowed. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’d sooner be granted my lifelong wish to frolic in a chocolate pudding bath with Jennifer Love Hewitt before my lovely wife would let me wrap my hands around a Glock Magnum 747 . . . Even if my wife said I was allowed to own one, I still don’t know if I’d get one. Without sounding too much like a pansy, the fact remains: Guns are scary.” – Jeff Edelstein [via trentonian.com]