John Wick 2 features a lot of cool guns used in entirely realistic ways. But the movie itself, as a movie, is absurd. If nothing else, the body count racked up by the assassin is insane. No, strike that —
It’s ridiculous. The only real world similarity between the carnage Mr. Wick inflicts on bad guys and their seemingly endless supply of henchmen is FPS videogames. And they aren’t the real world. Nor, I might add, a great deal of fun to watch. Just like John Wick 2, videogame kills become boringly repetitive. Including signature moves.
As for plot, SPOILER ALERT! There isn’t one. Not one that makes you care about any of the characters, believe they could exist, or would do the things they do.
Speaking of believability, there’s no way someone, anyone, could leave such an enormous trail of dead bodies without a single cop showing-up to stop the slaughter, or at least mop-up the bodies.
And what’s up with a plug-in telephone switchboard and a PTT (Pneumatic Tube Transport) mail delivery system? I thought someone had mistakenly edited-in footage from Brazil, both the country and the movie.
Unlike, say, a James Bond movie, there isn’t a babe in John Wick 2 — save one who doesn’t utter a single line of dialogue. Who exists only to prove that the pen is, indeed, mightier than the sword. Or at least as deadly. Because Mr. Wick used a pencil is the last movie and, well, this is a sequel.
Emerging from John Wick 2, our man Foghorn called it a “great popcorn movie.” AMC Barton Creek had lousy popcorn and John Wick 2 is a lousy movie. Sure, The People of the Gun will love it. Because guns! Lots of guns! Realistic guns used realistically! And head shots! Lots of head shots! On two different continents!
ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT!
The highlight of the movie arrives at mid-point, when JW reloads his Benelli shotgun while pinning a baddie to the ground , and then makes the baddie’s chest explode in a spray of red mist. Before — and after — killing eleventy-hundred other people.
You know those critics who called John Wick 2 gun porn? They’re right. And if that’s your thing, this movie is awesome. Seriously. Enjoy!