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BREAKING: Zimmerman Defense Opens with “There Are No Monsters Here”

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The defense in the trial of George Zimmerman for the homicide of Trayvon Martin started with a knock-knock joke: “George Zimmerman who? You’re on the jury.” Zimmerman’s low-key lawyer then told the jury that the homicide was a sad event but “there are no monsters here.” Yes, well, that contention will change if the prosecution opens the door to testimony about Martin’s background and character. [Click here for live streaming via NBC.] Defense attorney Don West which included an off-hand reference to the soon-to-be-infamous “fucking punks” comment. The defense then played Zimmerman’s 911 call on the night. You’ve got to wonder . . .

what Zimmerman’s comment “there’s something wrong with him” [referring to Martin] meant. More than that, the overall tone of the call is about as angry as an episode of Mr. Rogers. Zimmerman sounds polite and, let’s face it, drugged. Even when he says “these assholes always get away.”

The recording’s Anti-Depressants R Us gestalt isn’t a million miles away from his lawyer’s demeanor today. A man who should know that you never wear a white shirt on TV (kills the white balance and washes out skin tones). Who never met a map he didn’t like.

“Second Degree murder requires a deprived mind,” West finally points out in the middle of a long, incredibly (intentionally?) boring, often shambolic run-down of the timeline and geography of the homicide.

At some point, West addressed the state of the Kel-Tec PF-9 9mm on the night in question, looking to defuse the idea that keeping one in the pipe indicated some kind of depravity. “The way George Zimmerman was carrying the gun was the way it was supposed to be carried,” Wes says after explaining that the gun was “double action” only and saying that he’d been advised in his choice of firearms by “his friend” a U.S. Air Marshal. “It was safe.”

West didn’t make it to lunch . . . TBC after the jury’s blood sugar levels are collectively elevated.

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