Let’s say you’re the Linen King of New York. And having a palatial east side apartment that can draw the wrong kind of attention from the peasants, you’re confronted one night by a burglar in the halls of your own castle. What’s a monarch to do? Simple: you grab a trusty SIG, chase the knave off and then call 5-0 to report the incident. According to dailymail.co.uk, that’s exactly what George Bardwil did. He even showed the coppers security camera footage of the whole megillah. And that’s when they slapped they clapped him in irons . . .
The charge: possession of an unlicensed gun. You see, King George reigns in Turtle Bay on the Isle of the Big Apple, where it’s been decreed that all handguns must be registered. Use one that that hasn’t been listed on the proper parchment roll — noble breeding or not — and you’ve committed a felony.
His defense lawyer Michael Bachner told the New York Post that the loaded .40 cal Sig Sauer was kept in a secure box in Bardwil’s apartment and was legally registered to his bodyguard.
Apparently, the city, county and state of New York are of the opinion that, when faced with an impertinent intruder in your own palace, even a percale potentate should eschew armed self defense if the available firearm isn’t properly registered unto him. Better to call the palace guards and fend for yourself with a mace or lance during the 20+ minutes it may take for them to cross over the drawbridge.
Mr Bachner told the New York Post: ‘There’s no dispute that George was being burglarized.
‘George had been the victim of multiple burglaries, and the DA’s office concedes that it was used in self defense.’
Upon hearing the news, the city’s miniature maharajah, the Gerent of Gracie Mansion, was no doubt heard by courtiers stamping his tiny feet and shouting, “off with his head!” Prosecutors, however, are showing leniency for the sovereign by only recommending a 3-year stretch in the dungeon. King Bardwil is about to test that famous olde royal adage heard sung by troubadours and jesters alike; better to be judged by 12 than carried by six.