“A thief from Moray who ‘unwittingly’ stole a gun from the house of a widow has been jailed for five years,” bbc.co.uk reports, brandishing air quotes with gay abandon. “Guy Whitelaw, 28, from Forres, told police he discovered the handgun in a cash box he took from the house. Whitelaw admitted having the gun and was given minimum jail term for illegal possession of a firearm. He told the court the victim, a 63-year-old woman who said the gun had belonged to her late husband, should be prosecuted for not having a permit.” And I bet she will be, too. “Judge Lord Woolman told him there were no exceptional circumstances to allow him to escape the minimum jail term of five years for illegal possession of a firearm.”