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“The Centurion 39 AK Pistol is a compact package with fun written all over it!”

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washgintonreb.com recently parsed my under-post bio and found it wanting. “Who is the audience for this site that would appreciate the backhanded sneering ‘(yes fun)’? It says to me ‘look at me, I don’t really take this gun stuff seriously and you shouldn’t either. Together we’ll expose these stupid bastards for what the really are and then go to lunch at the Harvard club.'” Not guilty. I eat at my desk and the parenthetical remark actually says, “Lighten-up you gun-grabbing bastards.” [Note to Brad: pull it.] Meanwhile, big fun from the unflaggingly flag-waving folks at Century International Arms . . .

While the press release reckons their refreshed 7.62-firing C39 pistol is “perfect for home protection, CQB, or a fun day of inexpensive shooting at the range,” the headline writer is not multi-task minded. “The Centurion 39 AK Pistol is a compact package with fun written all over it!” More specifically:

The new bird cage muzzle break and “shark fin” front sight, gives the small package a sexy new look. An ergonomic pistol grip and our proprietary quad rail, high-tech, poly furniture, gives an incredibly cool appearance that just oozes strength, quality and style. Other features include a machined receiver, integrated gas block and front sight, M16 style compensator and a front and rear swing swivel.

So how much does it cost, and how much fun is it? According to the company it’s priceless! “We’re out of it,” the customer service rep Diana told me. As I’m not a dealer, all I could prise re: price was that the weapon’s “Over $700.” Yikes! Can I have the number of a dealer to nail that down?

After providing my zip code, Diana said “Nope we don’t have any one there. Can you give me another zip code?” Uh, no. I only have one. “So how about the phone number of a dealer anywhere in the U.S.?” I asked. “Hold on . . .”

Fun quotient? I never got a chance to ask; I gave up waiting after spending ten minutes listening the musical equivalent of stool softener. That wasn’t much fun. At all.

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