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Self-Defense Tip: Bling Wisely

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Ever seen the bumper sticker “He who dies with the most toys wins”? I’m not sure I ascribe to that philosophy. I can’t imagine St. Peter standing at the Golden Gate with an inventory list. Unless he works for the IRS. Or the IRS works for him. No they probably work for someone else. Anyway, what do you win if you’re all toyed-up when you shuffle off this mortal coil, exactly? An estate tax bill bigger than Rhode Island. Two Rhode Islands! What difference does it make? I mean to you, the dead person. Regardless of your religious/moral perspective on owning stuff, none of us wants to die at the hands of a violent attacker or attackers. So . . .

Keep a low profile.

Hypocrisy alert! I love me some Ferrari. I drive a fairly flash car. When open carry goes live in The Lone Star State an observant criminal will no doubt clock my Wilson Combat 1911. Other than that, I dress simply. I wear a Seiko. I confine contact with my stunning Israeli supermodel girlfriend to Facebook likes and the occasional pithy comment. I adhere to a simple rule: keep it on the DL.

As far as gun guys go, it’s a good idea not to stand out in a crowd. Predators (i.e. criminals) don’t just look for the weak members of a pack. They also look for the ones who offer the greatest reward. Victims with resources worth stealing; people whose fenceable stuff makes the risk of counter-attack, arrest and/or jail worth taking. We’re talking bling, baubles and ballistic implements: big houses, fancy cars, expensive watches, cash, guns, etc.

Yes, I know…you’ve got armed self-defense on your side. You’ve got a sidearm and a home defense shotgun and an AR and an alarm system and so much situational awareness people swear you have ESP. Besides, this is ‘Merica dammit! Land of the Free, Home of the One Percent! I worked hard for my toys. I’m not gonna live in fear! Come and get it you freeloading, crack-fueled sons o’ bitches!

You could say asking a rich person to tone it down toy-wise is like asking a beautiful woman not to dress “provocatively.” And you’d be right. Ish. There are places where putting it out front is, shall we say, inadvisable. Parking a Ferrari at the back end of an HEB parking lot at dusk in a bad part of town, for example may not be the safest choice. If personal safety’s a factor.

Would it be impolite of me to suggest that consumerist Americans might want to walk it down a little? Maybe not play the cock of the walk at the gun range, sharing high-priced firearms with all and sundry. Maybe saving fancy toys – whether it’s a Ferrari 458 Italia or Holland & Holland over-and-under – for suitably secure occasions. Perhaps amping-up your situational awareness when the fancy stuff comes out to play.

And one more thing I’ve mentioned before . . .

There are a lot of people who service well-to-do people who are far from rich themselves. I’m not just talking about prostitutes (the financial disparity there may not be a great as you might think). People who work at car washes, jewelry stores, fitness clubs, HEB (supermarkets), etc. They may associate with criminals to earn some extra money. Be careful about feeding your personal information and habits to anyone. Especially details about your gun collection. What was that about an ounce of prevention?

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