Remember WWJD (What Would Jesus Drive)? While I’m an anthropogenic climate change denier (which I’ll say three times fast if you like), I thought the anti-SUV campaign was funny. Equally, I mean for this question to be respectful and light-hearted. And I’m going to resist the urge to add on a question about what Allah would pack because I need a fatwa on my head like Xenia Tchoumitcheva needs another vowel. So how about it? What would Jesus carry and/or shoot? A three-barreled shotgun?