“And when Gartocharn Primary School in Dunbartonshire secured the services of the London Olympics chief starter for their own sports day, the school must have thought it would be an extra special occasion. But the school had not reckoned with the administrative power of health and safety council officials, who banned Alan Bell from firing a pistol at the event in case the sound frightened the school’s children.” That’s dailymail.co.uk documenting the continued downward spiral of (once) Great Britain. As one sane parent told the Mail, “Anyone who believes they would be frightened by a starting pistol has never experienced the noise at a typical three-year-old’s birthday party.” Drool Britannia.