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OMG! Guns! GUNS! OMG!

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“I’ve been accused of being rude and insulting to the NRA, unwilling to accept their arguments as to why it makes good sense to carry defensive firearms in public,” John Pawlak writes at lamonitor.com. “Well, this will shock my target audience dead center, but I now admit that the NRA was right and I was wrong! I had thought their arguments were all hollow points, but I’ve come around to understanding the wisdom of these straight shooters.” Hollow points. Geddit? Mr. Pawlak fancies himself a gun control advocate and a comedian. He’s looked-up the meaning of the term reductio ad absurdum and he’s ready to brandish his sterling wit. Here we go . . .

Of course, being prepared for life’s everyday dangers can sometimes trip us up. The other day at the supermarket, an item scanned incorrectly. I explained that the price was wrong, but the clerk disagreed.

So I stood with arms akimbo, exposing my Ruger SR40 under my vest to “holster bolster” my argument. The clerk responded, casually pushing back his apron, showing a Beretta PX4 with extended clip and laser sight.

Suddenly, the man standing behind me, wearing a DPMS Tactical rifle with 30-round clip strapped over his shoulder, started complaining that the line was moving too slowly.

A grizzled grandmother wagged a 380 ACP at him, “Young man, you should learn to be more patient!”

The bagger chimed in, tapping his ported barrel Taurus 357 against his chest and telling everyone to shut up!

Then the store manager sauntered over, fingering the trigger on his military surplus Soviet ROKS-2 flamethrower, and politely asked everyone to calm down.

As shoppers from the other lines began to unclick their safeties, it looked like things would go off half-cocked, but then I shouted, “1871! Go NRA!” and the crowd erupted in a salvo of cheers! Admittedly, we did a bit of damage to the ceiling during our communal “jump up and down and wave your firearms around and shoot in the air” fest, but it was all in good clean and safe fun.

You know, I feel more intelligent already!

Now, where’s my TEC-9 semiautomatic? I need to go buy some milk.

True words are spoken here in jest. Pawlak’s sarcasm reveals a commonly-held belief among gun control advocates that an armed society is the exact opposite of a polite society. Like many, if not most antis, he reckons guns unleash primitive, uncivilized urges that lead to violent confrontation, injury and death. Despite the fact that soaring rates of concealed carry has not done so throughout the nation.

All of which tells us that Pawlak probably has very little emotional self-control. The psychological term is “projection.” Pawlak’s fantasy is populated by an entire cast of Pawlaks; [comedically] unstable men and women misuse Americans’ natural, civil and Constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms.

Those of us on the other side of the issue – logically and emotionally – shake our heads at a simple fact: anyone who writes an extended rant about guns who can’t be bothered to fact-check the nomenclature isn’t to be trusted with facts generally. Or, in this case, so-called humor.

[h/t JWL]

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