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NRA Convention: Badges? Badges?!

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Badges? Badges?! We don’ need no steekin’ BADGES! (Come on…you would have been disappointed if I didn’t.) Yep. You see a lot of weird, wild, off-beat stuff here at the NRA Confab. And this product is on the list. A badge that looks just like the real ones, except this says something about “Concealed Handgun License.” Um. Okay. But having a badge and using a badge are two different things. So let’s say you’ve got one. NOW what?
Okay, let’s assume you have a badge. Let’s assume you’ve just been in a life-or-death situation and you had to use your gun. Let’s assume the bad guy is dead, you’re alive, called the police, and they are on their way. Now let’s assume that you pull your badge when the police arrive. I see three possible scenarios:

  1. The LEO guys see your badge, ignore your gun, and assume you’re on the job, approach you like the would a fell0w-officer, and you get to explain what happened. They realize you’re the good guy, and everything is hunky-dory.
  2. The cops don’t see your badge, but have tunnel-vision on your gun. They assume you’re the bad guy, what with a dead body lying there and all, and help you to assume room temperature, air conditioning your bod with enough holes to ensure a permanent dirt nap.
  3. The cops see your badge, but once they find out you’re NOT a cop, they get royally pissed and beat the ever-lovin’ snot outta you for having the cojoñes to try and con them.

In a perfect world, you might – MIGHT – luck and and live through scenario #1. I think it’s far more likely that you’ll see a visit from scripts number 2 or 3, neither of which is a life plan that I’d consider.

So if you’re not gonna use it after a gunfight, when would you use it? If you’re like me (a big fan of shiny things, official-looking gear, and other stuff I don’t need/shouldn’t have) you’ll be flipping it out and saying things like “Book ’em, Dano!” Only that can get you arrested for impersonating an officer.

Which leaves us with…what? I mean, what possible use is this thing? I dunno. But it does look cool.

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