You may have heard about a recent incident where police shot a man armed with an iPhone, which they claim they mistook for a gun. And you may have wondered, why can’t they tell the difference between an iPhone and a firearm? Well it’s hard to see in the dark, with adrenaline pumping. But not impossible . . .
“Shannon was armed with a .9mm handgun that he pointed at officers three times while being given commands to stay down and drop his weapon.” In that officer-involved shooting (no charges filed), the cops could clearly see what is an extremely tiny handgun. Hey. It’s just a data point. But it got me thinking . . .
I’ve posted a bunch of links to stories where bad guys used a .9mm handgun to carry out their nefarious deeds. But a .9mm handgun can also be used for good! So here are a few ideas in to help rehabilitate the diminutive firearm’s rep. Feel free to add more in the comments section below, to help us get to the 101 mark . . .
Arm Barbie against #metoo assaults
Let’s face it: a lot of men think of Barbie as a bimbo. A sex object that they can exploit willy-nilly (so to speak). To quote the B52’s, WELL SHE ISN’T! Barbie’s a strong, independent woman; a career girl who’s been pushing the boundaries of a women’s right to do “man’s work” since the 60’s. Discreetly armed with a .9mm, Barbie will have a defence against sexual assault. It will empower her, even more.
Pierce ears
I once watched — horrified — as an employee of the [thankfully bankrupt] Claire’s accessories store failed to pierce my stepdaughter’s ears with an ear-piercing gun. I reckon a .9mm handgun loaded appropriately would have been a far more effective device for the job. Providing, of course, that the shooter oriented the gun from the head outwards. Know your target and what’s beyond it.
Wallet carry
Tens of thousands of Americans don’t carry a gun because it’s uncomfortable. Bulky. Heavy. A hassle. And they worry they’ll be “found out” by friends, family, colleagues, busy-bodies and anti-gun church deacons. They fear that even a small pocket pistol like the Ruger LCP II is too big; they still feel “exposed.” A .9mm handgun is small enough to shove in your wallet. Problem solved.
Arm mice against #predatorycats
If we can teach mice to smoke cigarettes and snort cocaine, we can teach them how to use a .9mm to defend themselves against predatory felines. Which is every cat on the face of planet Earth. In cartoons too. (Anyone remember Fritz the Cat? Total sexual predator.) While I’m not sure a mouse could master the Four Rules of Gun Safety, I’m not sure it really matters.
More?