Shut up and kill some more stormtroopers: The NRA Ridicules Mark Hamill For His Gun Control Beliefs: ‘What If The Galactic Republic Outlawed Lightsabers And Ray Guns?’
During a recent broadcast, (Grant) Stinchfield — who once chastised the press for describing guns as “weapons” — turned his attention to comments Hamill made about gun control in an interview with Australia’s Herald Sun. While promoting The Last Jedi, the actor revealed his own backstory for Luke Skywalker was based on his thoughts about gun control. “America has a lot of crazy people and the gun laws are just totally wrong and disproportionate for what we need,” he said while explaining a tragic lightsaber accident he devised to help him with his performance. The line prompted Stinchfield to reinterpret the entire Star Wars saga:
“Once again we get a Hollywood millionaire, protected on set by armed body guards 24/7, and he thinks our gun laws are too strict. He’s also a hypocrite. Star Wars was and is a violent movie. All of them are. Shoot ’em up thrillers at their best. What if the Galactic Republic outlawed lightsabers and ray guns? No more armed spaceships. Darth Vader’s evil empire would have run ramshod over Skywalker. Han Solo would have died who knows how many movies ago. In fact, the lightsabers and laser guns are what gave the good guys in every Star Wars movie a fighting chance.”
Stinchfield apparently caused a great disturbance in the Force. Calling blasters “ray guns” caused a million basement-dwelling dweebs to suddenly tweet out in terror. Unfortunately, they still haven’t been suddenly silenced.