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New from Under Armour: Tactical Base Layer System (Underwear)

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Press release: “The UA Tactical team—” Wait. Under Armor has a SWAT team? I know the cops have militarized like Communist China but when did underwear manufacturers tool-up (so to speak)? “[UA] understands that situations can change from one extreme to the next.” One minute you’re baking, the next you’re serving croissants. I mean freezing. Sorry.  So, “Designed specifically for the tactical professional, UA’s new Tactical Base Crew and Pant system incorporates the proven ColdGear® moisture transport system with a fitted design that’s contoured to the body for cool weather comfort and protection without the restriction of compression garments.” That sounds distinctly Edwardian in a nudge-nudge, wink-wink sort of way. Or do UA mean post-surgery garments? Apparently not. The UA TBC and P are perfect for . . .

the patrol officer or convoy security operator. Under Armour Base 3 fabric keeps vital areas warm while strategically placed Base 1 panels mitigate high-heat zones. UA’s new Tactical Base Crew and Pant will keep you dry, warm and energized through any level of activity.

How does a base layer system (a.k.a., underwear) keep you energized? Actually, strike that. I don’t want to know. Or do I?

Anyway, despite the fact that UA’s new base layer system was specifically designed for beat cops (so to speak) and convoy security officers, civilians can buy them. In fact, they can buy thousands of them. Clearly, this is a tragedy in the making. Something must be done!

So we contacted UA for some test and evaluation BVDs. Watch this space.

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