Anti-gunners love to taunt gun owners with a simple question: why do you need so many guns? Sarcasm is not my go-to response; there’s no chance of a decent conversation if I immediately come back with sass. And I do love a decent conversation about guns. [Quick aside: I don’t consider my guns to be an “arsenal.” I have more than ten, less than 300 and not enough.] But when I’m asked to defend my guns with someone whose voice drips with condescension, it’s difficult not to respond in a manner matching their tone. I sometimes reply “Because I can never decide which gun goes with my shoes that day.” Or . . .
“It’s difficult being a woman. I can never make up my mind. I try and buy one of everything.” (Ironic sexism usually knocks them off track.) A Facebook “friend” recently asked me to explain the inexplicable fact that I own not one but two – TWO! – “weapons of war.” After all, “you can only shoot one at a time.” I responded “Wrong. I can shoot two at a time. But that only works in movies.” I’m not sure why she didn’t respond to my comment . . .
Actually, I am. The woman asking about my WoW used a “Feel The Bern” profile picture and wrote #feelthebern after every comment. I suspect that Bernie Sanders supporters share their hero’s desire to “bring people together on guns” – so they can ban them. The guns. Maybe the people too. I’ve decided it’s best to not talk to die-hard Democratic supporters about guns. They want to listen to reason about as much as I want to listen to Bing Crosby.
There are people unfamiliar with firearms who genuinely want to understand the gun owning mindset. For people who honestly ask why I own “so many” guns, honesty answer is the best policy.
I tell them how different types of firearms have different capabilities. Some are for fun, some are for self-defense, and there are different types of fun and self-defense. In the same way that significant variations between similar types of guns. I tell them that gun making is an art; that owning a gun from a particular manufacturer makes me a patron of their art, rewarding excellence with financial support.
If they’re not checking my head for an aluminum hat, I tell them about having enough guns and ammo for a SHTF scenario. I point out that the Second Amendment protects Americans’ right to keep and bear any number or type of weapon, from a few throwing stars to dozens of machine guns. I explain the difference between my right to “keep and bear arms” and my respect for laws against using a gun illegally.
When I’m in a hurry, I give people asking about the number of firearms I own the obvious answers: “because I want to” and “because I can.” It never satisfies them, but it always satisfies me.