As someone who recently ignored his 58th birthday, I’m [still] here to say that the older you get, the older you think old is. When I read palmbeachpost.com’s headline 71-year-old recovering after gator attack at Florida gated community, I thought, 71 isn’t that old! It’s not like she was eighty! Anyway . . .
Genie Witzel, who was gardening when a 10-foot alligator decided to come after her, is recovering at Lee Memorial Hospital, according to the Fort Myers News Press.
“She’s doing fine,” Witzel’s son, Sheldon Upchurch, told the News Press. “The gator grabbed her by the foot. She fought him off. She stabbed him in the nose with gardening shears.”
The gator was caught Sunday night and has been killed, Florida Fish & Wildlife officials told the Fort Myers News Press.
There is no obvious reason why Ms.Witzel shouldn’t have been carrying a gun while gardening. And one obvious reason why she should have: gators!
In fact, there’s plenty of wildlife in Florida — even in gated communities! — that can ruin your whole day. Leave them alone and they’ll leave you alone? What about a rabid cat, raccoon or bobcat (that attacked an 80-year-old woman, requiring 60 body stitches).
Not to mention coyotes. (I snapped the above sign just outside the playing field at Denver’s Colorado Academy.) As former Texas Governor and current Energy Department jefe Rick Perry proved, even a Ruger .380 can be enough to eliminate that threat.
That’s an easy enough gun to carry that’s a pretty good choice for disincentivizing two-legged varmints, too. Hey, how old is Rick now? Wait, wait, don’t tell me . . .