Mugshot of Joseph Ebner, Courtesy of Henderson PD
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Here’s one from the “Nice Try Dude” department. A coked-out Hunter Biden wannabe sat in his Henderson, Nevada, condo last Friday and by his own accounts ingested a gram of cocaine (that was in addition to the three grams he said he had ingested earlier in the week) before shooting up the surrounding condo buildings with more than 100 rounds from an AR and a handgun and then jumping from the second story window and busting his head open.

Police were called to the scene and found 45-year-old Joseph Ebner lying on the ground and bleeding from his head before they, with the help of residents, carried him to an ambulance that took him to the hospital for treatment.

But once he was able to talk, oh what a story Ebner would tell.

According to Fox 5 in Las Vegas, this is what Ebner had to say about his actions:

At the hospital, the suspect told police that he had been robbed by two men and “he had fired his weapons at them in self-defense.” He added that he lived alone in his condominium, though he occasionally had his children over through a 50-50 custody agreement. The children were on a cruise with their mother at the time of the shooting.

Ebner told investigators that he had been “speaking to people online” and that “two males were coming over to his apartment for a possible encounter.” He also admitted to being a cocaine addict and said he had ingested approximately four grams over the course of the week, with close to one gram of cocaine being ingested earlier in the evening.

He continued by explaining that a group of males who he could not describe had broken into his residence in “an apparent robbery attempt.” Ebner described the suspects as armed, with some having lasers on their weapons.

Ebner said they entered through multiple points of the residence, and fearing that he was being robbed, he pointed his weapon at the door. He said that as soon as the men entered, he emptied his 9 mm handgun, firing all rounds. He said he then transitioned to an AR-15 and fired approximately 60 more rounds.

First off, Ebner can kiss that 50-50 custody deal with the ex-wife for the kids goodbye. For him, those kids might as well be on a permanent cruise to anywhere but his home.

Secondly, what kind of “encounter” with “two males?” We won’t speculate on that that one. That’s Ebner’s real or imagined businesses. He does live in the shadow of Las Vegas after all. When in Rome…

Finally, police ultimately found he had discharged at least 112 rounds—93 from an Anderson Manufacturing AR with a 30-round mag found beneath the window he jumped out and 19 from the 9mm handgun—at his alleged attackers. Oh, and speaking of those intruders, police never found any evidence to support his claims that anyone was attacking him at all. But they did find the entire community around Ebner’s condo riddled with bullet holes.

Of course, with five alleged attackers entering through multiple entry points at one time, Ebner was most definitely being attacked by ninjas, who of course would be too slick to leave any evidence they were ever there.

The man also told police he felt like he’d been shot, but upon examination by doctors, didn’t have any gunshot wounds.

Police charged Ebner on 112 counts of discharging a firearm into an occupied structure, two counts of discharging a firearm where a person is endangered and one count of a prohibited person owning or possessing a gun ala Hunter Biden. He was booked into the Henderson Detention Center where he will have time to sharpen his story.

While for many people, using cocaine simply makes them feel like they are full of energy, really cool and popular and people of the opposite sex are totally digging them (even when this is NOT the case), Mr. Ebner skipped clean over that stage with his heavy use and plunged straight into an almost shroom-induced stage of frightening hallucinatory psychosis. Not fun man. Not fun at all. Not cool either.

The takeaway on this one kids just proves Nancy Reagan was right: Just say “No” to drugs…and where necessary, irresponsible gun ownership.

 

 

 

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44 COMMENTS

    • Vinny,

      And if you’re really a giver (give, give, give!!), you’ll take MajorLiar and jsled with you!

      • You obliviously don’t remember or noticed the brain on drugs commercials supported by Nancy Reagan during the Reagan years. If you don’t understand the reference don’t bother commenting with a slight like that.

        • Vinny,

          Oh, I got the ‘joke’ (such as it was) – not that funny, or apposite, but I’ll give you a “B” for effort. Sorry I didn’t applaud your “wit” to your satisfaction. Nah, actually, I’m not.

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  1. I’ve been told by the drug leg.@[email protected] crowd that drugs and guns mix very well together.

    I know the mexicans think this way.

    And everyone knows that you can perform automobile brake maintenance, Pilot a passenger airplane, and perform brain surgery. All under the influence of weed. Or your preferred intoxicant.

    And the work you do will be outstanding.

    • In this case, the coke narrows your concentration to where you can hear the guns talking to you and putting evil thoughts into your head – so as always, it’s actually the guns’ fault.
      Ask Hunter, or his old man The Meat Puppet, they’ll corroborate.

  2. “Anderson Manufacturing AR”

    Anderson Manufacturing doesn’t make an AR. Look on their rifles and web site, they are labeled (stamped) and sold as ‘AM-XX’ (e.g. AM-15, AM-9, AM-10)

    😁

    • It seems he was able to assemble his AR while under the influence. With that proof, he just knew that shooting it under the influence would be just fine.

    • Anderson does make AR’s under the Poverty Pony banner🤓Anyway this dude deserves what her gets!

      • no one actually makes an AR today, not even today’s newer Armalite company entity. The old Armalite company made AR’s not the current company entity. There are rifles people call generically AR’s, based on the old original Armalite company pattern design but unless its a rifle made by the old Armalite company back in the 50’s – early 60’s its not actually an AR (AKA ‘Armalite Rifle’). More correctly today, the rifles are called ‘AR Pattern’ rifles.

        • So you are confused when someone says AR? How long does it take for you to get out of you befuddled state and figure out they mean a gun. A type of gun everyone on the fucking planet has called an AR for more than 60 years.

          • “So you are confused when someone says AR?”

            just where exactly did I say I was confused?

            “How long does it take for you to get out of you befuddled state and figure out they mean a gun.”

            evidently you are the one in a befuddled state. What part of AR = ‘Armalite Rifle’ confused you? I never said it wasn’t a ‘gun.

            “A type of gun everyone on the fucking planet has called an AR for more than 60 years.”

            and did ya read the part where I said “There are rifles people call generically AR’s…” ?

            which part of ‘critical thinking’ skills and ‘context skills’ confuse you?

          • ‘no one actually makes an AR today‘

            Except everyone sells them. Exactly how are these ‘unmakable’ guns sold by the millions……

  3. “112 counts of discharging a firearm into an occupied structure” – the doper is not the only moron now involved. 112 counts?

  4. A super nice clean house and the smell of slighty molding oranges.
    Good coke.
    Say hello to my little friend.

  5. What a lightweight. He would be considered D league at best in Chiraq, Killidelphia, New York and L.A. Thats every weekend behavior there.

  6. This is news? Meanwhile over at ammoland we learn that the Hawaii supreme court has declared the 2nd null and void. Pathetic.

  7. He must be an operator. Probably was a Delta-Para-Scuba-Ranger in his younger days. He used his sidearm to fight his way back to his rifle. Smart.

  8. Sounds like a suicide attempt that needed more height. Good news is he did it all without using a bumbstock contraption, no pilgrims were injured and the pos is behind bars where hopefully an irritated judge sees he remains.

    Anderson makes good bread and butter 7075 receivers that are compatable with various stripped upper receivers like my fav the Aero M4E1. I’ve assembled some nice rifles using Andersons, only problem ever was with an Anderson closed receiver with the takedown pin bore drilled high causing a loose upper, returned to Anderson, other closed receivers were correct, best to purchase in sealed Anderson packaging.

  9. He clearly wasn’t happy when Dacian and Miner69er arrived from the male escort service.

        • Where’s “Albert J. Hall” (wasn’t that zimz/zerz/zeyz name) been, I haven’t seen anything from that tea-swilling dentally-challenged fop lately?

    • Central (and Hawkeye),

      What, sled missed the party??? He’ll be crushed; he thought he’d finally “gotten in”, and was going to be invited to MajorLiar’s next circle jerk!

  10. Shit like this is why I really don’t have a problem with drug users being prohibited from owning firearms.

    Drug users are stupid…and stupid is dangerous.

  11. “two males were coming over to his apartment for a possible encounter.”?

    Sounds awfully “Andrew Gillum-ish” to me.

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  13. ————–wait, this is suppose to be a ‘real’ event —yea, just like the fainting person at the press conference that fainted —- properly when blinky was asked a tough question, and what happens, a show stopping event —— yes i might be a bit off track here, but after all the stunts and stories that we have been hearing, i guess a new stunt is needed — brought to you by holly wood——

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