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Before anybody else says it, lemme be the first: We need to find this, take up a collection, and buy one for our resident Tr0lls, to help them shoot their mouths off. There. I feel better already. Not the most stylish of phones, there, but then again, it’s probably Luddite-ready, Luddite-approved.
It has 82 functions. 83 if you want to make a call.
It’s connected to the Antisocial Network…
For those times you want to drop more than the call.
The charge cord doubles as a garrote.
The optional Bluetooth gives you laser guidance.
No thanks, I don’t care for one.