courtesy Chicago Tribune
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They’re just Jehovah’s Witnesses. Ain’t this a bit of an overreaction?

Ralph won last week’s contest. This week’s champ will win a set of Yehuda Remer’s excellent books to help teach kids safe gun handling. Enter your best work in the comments by midnight Sunday to be eligible.

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  1. Ok Mugsy, thats 5 pigeons for you and your scatter gun, but wait till ya see what this baby can do!

  2. “Someone’s commin’!”
    “That him?”
    “Yup. It’s that idiot who keeps trying to get me to switch phone companies!”

  3. Even the most hardcore and clever bank robbers will still open the door for the “fake pizza delivery guy” trick.

  4. Cliff, I think I can see the future and I don’t like it. They will try to take our large magazines, pistol grips and forward grips. Limit what we can own to protest ourself’s. Cliff you know what, we will not allow that to happen.

    • You don’t have to tell me twice, but why am I the only one here with a pistol grip and large magazine?

  5. “Thanks for coming to help, Nick… I swear that squirrel has raided my bird feeder for the last time.”

  6. “She’s wearin’ nothin’, I’m sure.”

    “Its a thong”

    “Oh yeah, I can see it now”

    “Now get’cha mind outta da gutter and eyes on the suspect”

  7. told you they were coming for our guns, the Jones’s house is still out of range with these, we’ll wait!

  8. It’s a good thing my C&R license came yesterday, all I have to say is I am a collector and they will let me have anything more than 50 years old……

  9. “here comes the good humor truck. you get the bells, i’ll hit the scott joplin loud speaker.”

  10. “If that Danny Glick comes a-floatin’ up to the window again, don’t open it up, just open fire”

  11. They’re just Jehovah’s Witnesses. Ain’t this a bit of an overreaction?

  12. “Hey Bob, why are we sittin’ outside the bosses house?”

    “Just wait Fred, you’ll see.”

    “Oh my! Bob, why’s Mr. Hoover wearing a dress like that?”

    “Idiot. Because it matches those shoes, and that fabulous bag.”

  13. Just spit ballin’ here, but how about hitting Sig up to sponsor the contest? A shiny new 226 for the winner sure would drive some traffic.

  14. “I don’t care _how_ long we have to wait. Never loosen your tie and finger off the trigger until you actually see that darn Fuller Brush salesman.”

  15. Because ALL home invasions happen at home.

    Home carry, people.

  16. “So what did the boss say?”
    “His phone was cutt’n out. Something about shooting the massager…”

  17. With growing urbanization, modern man is forced to find new and creative ways to scratch the duck hunting itch.

  18. “Bird netting? Obviously you don’t love strawberries as much as me”

    The above quote was inspired by my ongoing war with birds that keep eating my damn strawberries.

  19. “Just washed my car fifteen minutes ago, Slim. When them pigeons show up I’m givin’ em a piece of my mind. Now be sure to aim careful.”

  20. “I got no luck at all, Sarge. Three days on this lousy stakeout with no sign of Capone, and tomorrow I’m gonna be cooling my heels all St. Valentine’s Day at the S-M-C Cartage garage while they fix my old Model T.”

  21. This’ll be the last time that damn squirrel gets in the bird feeder. Looks there. See what I mean? Get ready!

  22. Joe, they are only 15 minutes past the time you told them to be home.

    Willie, don’t matter, that boy needs to learn his lesson if he’s gonna date my daughter.

  23. 2018, Southside Chicago. Domino’s refuses to deliver unless customers can guarantee cover from the car to the door and back !


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