Weekend Photo Caption Contest: Win a CMC Tactical AR Trigger

Starry-Eyed Man, Left, Center: “You’re right…45 is superior to 9mm in every way…no one’s ever explained it like that.”

It’s OK. I’m a trained actor.

“And the dragon’s teeth were THIS big….”
“Wow! Tell us another story of how you became Supreme Commander, Uncle Kim.

“and we’ll pile all those conspiracy books this high and burn ’em”

And then I went ‘pew pew pew’ and the while regiment fell down.

OK now gents, remember when the zombie hordes are after you, you got to shoot them in the head.

Look guys…one hand!

Yeah, see.. Then this Messerschmidt comes outta the sky, see, right outta my ten o’clock, see, so I blasts him with my 88 magnum. I sent that sorry Fokker right into the ground. Yeah.

Anybody have an idea of the real story behind this? Is the guy in center of importance?

Edit: Doh!…click on the pic!

Edit2: Wow! Great pics of female wartime hotness in uniform!

What we’ve got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don’t like it any more than you men.

Mr. Yee explains how to make a fortune running illegal guns after the shooting stops by infiltrating the political system and voting for gun control measures. Don’t tell anybody, ‘mkay?

…then I told Patton, just gimme the damn cigars.

“They gotta be like this tall to die for the Fuhrer.”

Well gentlemen, that about sums up what actors like me know about gun safety.

Using his best accent, Shinji managed to fools the American soldiers into believing he was a Navajo code talker instead of a Japanese spy.

A practice session before the Russian Roulette games begin.

http://i1316.photobucket.com/albums/t613/m1garand33/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpse1fbbeae.jpg

Oh… Oh wow…

Chris Costa’s spiritual grandfather explains the basics of weapon retention in close combat.

PULL!

“…I am the only one here professional enough to handle this weapon…”

BANG.

Watch this finger disappear!

Always point the gun in a safe direction.

And God came down from on high and said unto John Moses Browning. ” In .45 so shall it be chambered…”

“And as it turns out Hitler is my height!”
“So I put two rounds in the sonofabitch and called it a night!”

Hold my cigar, I want to try something real quick.

“Then I used this here flare pistol to knock that focke-wulf right out of the sky” (using hand gesture to emphasize shot placement)

So he pulls out his Luger and I says to him, “you call THAT a gun?”

Instead of typing it out verbatim, I feel like the following link better captures what my caption says:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdRiPWOP8so

Skip to 1:54 to begin my caption entry.

…and so then this big German guys charges at me…I dunno, he was maybe this tall…and all I could find was this flare gun…so I lit him up!

So this guy in New York walks up to me and asks if this gun here can hold more than 7 bullets…

SEE!!! Told you the A-Bombs would work!!

“So I had to go to my .45 when the Darth Vader Force choke didn’t work!”

So I told General Patton that we should respect the German soldiers. Read them their rights before fighting them. Maybe get the FBI to join us. And we shouldn’t be shooting those nasty guns at them. This marshmellow gun will show them how much we want to co-exist and not hurt them. That some day the US Army will have to get permission before hurting anyone. General Patton laughed in my face and said ” the US GI won’t ever have to get permission to kill those bastards. It would mean the end of America as a nation ! These dog faces are killing machines Eddie. You can’t change that.”

This version of “Duck duck goose” always seemed to get their attention.

“…so then I tell him ‘Don’t worry, I only want you to REGISTER this gun.'”

DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THAT CHICKEN?!?

“Sergeant, I’m telling you, even if you could find a French virgin out there, one look at this gun and she’s gonna run.”

” …and then I said, ‘ Okay, you Hebrew mugs! Moses ain’t comin’ back from Sinai, see? I’m takin’ over see?
Anybody don’t like it- gets it! See?’. “

“You’ve got to lead them just right.”

Here, hold my cigar. Watch this!

“Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do when they come for you?”

“I don’t know about the rest of you. But this is what I’m gonna do.”

“Now the first one of you boys to win the race to the top of the gets to take this flare gun, put it in Hitler’s pooper and pull the trigger!”…… Go!

And I was like Rocket pistol? I grabbed the pistol, see, but the rocket? I was this close.

“…so I had that Frenchie by the collar and pulled him up on his heels…I told him to get his ass back to the front, and bam! His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell like a sack of potatoes right in front of me, passed out cold from fright!

“His shoulder thing went up so high, we had to bust out the flare guns to take him down.”

Everybody back or the invisible man gets it!

OK guys. This will be fun. Remove the orange tip of this airsoft gun, otherwise identical to a Beretta 92, point it at a police officer and yell “April Fool!”.

I snuck up on that Nazi taking an early morning dump behind a tree. Gave em the old Sieg Hiel! Then before he knew it, he got 2 toots from the barrel of my colt!

Now I come here to warn you soldiers! My brethren in Hollywood will one day sensationalize violence, glamorize war, celebrate mediocrity and idolize immorality! All the while they will be denouncing freedom, condemning the wars they are so willing to glamorize and exploit for profits, trying to disarm the public through fear and pushing socialist and communist ideals. After they have brainwashed America with their evil plot all you will have left to defend you and your family from the dangers posed by these monsters is a simple flare gun such as this! All you have fought for will be in jeopardy!

And this is about high high your head will go if I ND this puppy RIIIIGHT now.

Y’all see that anti-gun billboard way over there? Betcha I can land this flare close enough that the whole countryside can see that baby!

Now remember boys, never point a gun at something you’re not willing to destroy, like these fellas from the second regiment.

Starry-Eyed Man, Left, Center: I always love this part of the story, don’t you ?

If my second hand smoke, or my rough language, or my finger on this here trigger hurt any of you mama’s-boy’s feelings raise your hand.

“And then I was all like, ‘I said EXTRA schnitzel, you stingy Kraut!'”

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend me your .22 ammo!!!!!!

You must be this tall to operate with.

Greet with one hand and arm the other.

“…aaaand this was where Mr. Canseco should have kept his hand”

I’ve had it up to here with Nazi’s, so lets go show them the rockets red glare.

Fella we’re lookin for’s bout yea high, keeps singing the word “baby” over and over again.

I swear to God, I’ll pistol whip the next Motherf****er that says shenanigans!

So I told the goat, “put your dukes up” and he said, “I got freakin’ no dukes”!

“NO NO NO, I said I was from SOUTH Vietnam. “

“Now I’d like everyone I don’t like, and doesn’t like me to move to over here where I’m pointing the gun…”

“And then this guy is yammering on about how German engineering is the pinnacle of everything… So I show him my 1911! He throws this rocket pistol on the ground, spits, and walks off!!”

“And that’s when I said, ‘Listen mother*#@9r, I don’t care if she’s your ex-wife or not, we weren’t doing anything other than doing some target shooting.’ And that’s when he came after me….

..but I swear, Captain, the .45 was already in my hand!!!!! “

“Whadaya mean, you don’t see my friend, Harvey? He’s standing right here.”

There WAS a fourth stooge, but Moe got careless one day…

…”and then this turkey comes in low”….

We’d stack ’em five feet high, use ’em for sandbags.

“Son, after this war these European countries here will never think about gun control again. They’ll be free states.. Free from the tyranny of a corrupt and controlling government..”

Sometimes the future turns out bad.

So I’m clearing trenches and there’s this kid with this flare gun and I say: I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire eight shots or only seven?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a Colt 1911, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?

The prisoners of war did their best to humor their captor, and show genuine gratitude for his gift of an invisible friend to their group.

“myeh, see boys, your 45’s are nice but I had this piece custom made to let dem krauts really have it!”

I said we’re doing a production of Guys and Dolls and that’s that! Now…..Jazz Hands!

You distract ’em with your left hand and point-shoot him with your right while saying, “You dirty rat!”

So I says to the Kraut, “Where’s your Messiah now”

Firearms Blogging, circa 1944.

And for my next trick I will need a volunteer from the audience…

So I says to the Nazi, “Where’s your Messiah now”. Better

You mean to tell me that you boys just whooped some fuckin’ ROCKET GUN totin’ Krauts? The girls back home are gonna think your cocks are this big!

“Now, if for some reason you cannot use the force to choke your enemy, reach for your sidearm”

“Alright you primitive Screwheads. Listen Up! See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! It’s a single shot flare gun. Uncle Sam’s top of the line. You can get it from the local supply sergeant. That’s right, this baby was made the Good ‘ole US of A. Costs the government approximately $15 dollars each. Got plastic grips, horribly heavy trigger and was quickly produced with a parkerized finish. Shop Smart. Shop S-Mart. YA GOT THAT!

Don’t worry guys, its only 9mm.

By the time your children are this tall, I’ll be Soylent Green.

Well boys, none of our reader submitted gun reviews made it into TTAG. But don’t worry…Plan B, IGOTD award, is a sure thing.

…and then Godzilla ate a tank and I thought “Aww crap, this pistol is not gonna be enough!”

“Don’t forget to shoot one in the hip when force-choking a mutha-f*cker…”

– Group of Jedi cadets learning how to incorporate Darkside Force powers into their weapons manipulations and training from a Jedi Operator knowledgeable in advanced Sith fighting techniques.

“Lets see how many liberals we can get to shit their pants when we show them this flare gun”

G.I. “Why didn’t the Japanese we just fought have any guns?”
Spy “I told them the had to be this tall to get one.”

The entire platoon just smiled and nodded, hoping their bumbling commander wouldn’t actually demonstrate the “proper use” of a captured rocket gun this close to them. Notice the piece of potato blocking the barrel, just like they’d done to his car’s tail pipe back home…

“Welcome to Japan boys. If you are shorter than this, report to artillery.”

“Everybody else, if you see someone shorter than this, fire”

Some people have youth, some have beauty – I have menace

Honest to God fellas. If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin”. I nailed that Moose with this very same .45 with one shot and he stood this tall at the shoulder.

Enjoy your handgun, men, while you can. Fifty years from now, the government that issued you this weapon will be trying its darnedest to criminalize it.

Anyone hungry? Im going to Kroger.

So, Hitler, Mussolini and Hirohito walk into a bar….

“Throw that cigar in the air and watch me light it with this flare gun.”

“… and that’s what I told my wife I was doing last night. Now that every body is on the same page, what the hell are we supposed to talk about tonight?”