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  1. Immediatly after teaching your daughters trigger control we reccomend strict instruction on wardrobe control.

  2. How to get around the gun grabbers’ ban on evil-looking Black rifles? Paint it white. Why didn’t we think of that before? Dressing like a hipster doesn’t hurt either.

  3. Magpul Dynamics conducts casting calls for their newest video, Art of the Dancing Carbine.

    Apparently in Texas there was a call for prettier faces and a way to get the wives to watch too. Reports that Chris Costa will tango with Nick Leghorn in a simunition hoe-down have not yet been confirmed.

  4. Democrats are complaining that the NRA has rolled out its same old song and dance routine to legitimize assault weapons, hiding it behind another pretty face.

  5. The M-16 was 20-30 years old when her clothes were fashionable.

    “Modern” Sporting Rifle.

  6. This is either from “Muzzle Flash Dance” or “A Chorus Firing Line”; I can’t remember which.

  7. After this incident Mom never did ask Dad to help choreograph any of Jessica’s dance routines again.

    • Jon R. — nice.
      You’ve got my vote.
      Of course, if any of you others would like to buy my vote….
      (Please note: I accept ammo in most pistol denominations.)

  8. Hoping for a boost to her lagging career, Liz Berkeley grudgingly agrees to star in Paul Verhoeven’s latest clunker Showgirls 2: Payback Time.

  9. BREAKING: Defense Distributed moves beyond printable lowers; now available: complete printable M-16s with bonus poseable love doll

  10. The original Russian ballet dance defector.

    Colt’s newest rifle, available only in tu-tu caliber.

    • And to think I wasn’t even going to come into this thread.

      I’ve already got another one on deck, though.

  11. Although an ardent supporter of the 2nd Amendment, Bethany was secretly delighted the Broadway version would NOT be allowed to use the original Beta Mag equipped rubber ducks.

  12. One! Singular sensation, every single move she makes.
    One! Thrilling combination, every shot that she takes…

  13. Upon receiving numerous civilian complaints over intimidating military style uniforms, the Department of Homeland Security has been studying “less hostile equipment”.

  14. Heather was suspended from school after this picture was posted on facebook. Sources say that it was because she was smiling holding a weapon of death and that her fellow classmates were very nervous about their safety. School officials were quoted as saying “it’s for the children, you know, common sense.”

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