Weekend Photo Caption Contest

Carry On Sargeant film, Bob Monkhouse (holding rifle and William Hartnell in a scene


  1. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    Don’t worry about our chaps at Arnhem; it’s tea time!

  2. avatar Davis thompson says:

    It’s a magazine, not a clip!

    1. avatar other Chris says:

      But sir, the Lee Enfield is charged with a 5 round stripper clip. We only have one magazine each.

      1. avatar Vhyrus says:


        1. avatar other Chris says:

          ONE SIR! TWO SIR!

      2. avatar Davis thompson says:

        But would “it’s a clip, not a magazine” be funnier? I’ll be honest, I did think about it.

    2. avatar SD3 says:

      It’s not a clip, it’s a cocking piece!

  3. avatar Louis Marschalko says:

    No more “Brother Wars”!

  4. avatar BlackoutFan says:

    Private Joker, let me see your war face!

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      I just heard R. Lee when reading that.

      1. avatar BLAMMO says:

        How can you not? Lou Gossett Jr. was very good but with all the drill sergeants in all the movies, R. Lee Ermey came along and defined the role, once and for all, for all time.

        Case closed. End o’ storee.

    2. avatar tmm says:

      Bull**it! You didn’t convince me! Let me see your real war face!

  5. avatar Rambo Shopper says:

    Coffee and bisquets! Now, Leftenant!

    1. avatar Tom W. says:

      Or was it tea and crumpets?

      Ishapore version?


      1. avatar jwm says:

        Ishapore never made the No. 4.

  6. avatar Gregolas says:

    Oddly enough, Pvt. Tedders went deaf long before seeing combat.

  7. avatar DaveL says:

    I say, old boy, what is your major malfunction?

  8. avatar Craig says:

    Good Lord, Bootsy and Snudg haven’t changed in 50 years.

  9. avatar John L. says:

    Shoot the drone! Shoot the drone! Shoot the drone!

  10. avatar blahpony says:

    Private Pile is right behind you and I can tell by his war face he is itching to use his bayonet.

  11. avatar Bob says:

    Private, you get out there and get that rifle into the hands of an American, so some Nazis can be killed!!

  12. avatar Felix says:

    Carry ON! UP the Kyhber! WithOUT a pass!

  13. avatar Mikele says:

    Get a move on boyō! Those krauts are going to kill themselves!

  14. avatar MiniMe says:

    I gotta go with the classic from Gunny Hartman…

    “What is your major malfunction, numbnuts!?”

  15. avatar 505markf says:

    Bloody Queen… if I have to put up with this loudmouth, at least they could have given me an M1 Garand. Wankers.

  16. avatar SD3 says:

    It’s not a no.1 mk 3, it’s a no.4 mk 2!!!! Now git!

  17. avatar Paul53 says:

    My birthday was last month, Sarge, and all I got was this stinkin bayonet……………….

  18. avatar jwm says:

    It is the hard heart that kills! Kill! Kill! Kill!

  19. avatar Mini14 says:

    The object is not to die for your country, but to make the other poor bastard are die for his.

  20. avatar stevor says:

    Get moving. We’re not playing Freeze Tag!

  21. avatar James Randall says:

    The First Doctor lies low as a RSM.

    1. avatar Hi Power Toter says:


  22. avatar Watts' Twat says:

    “Remember you MUST turn in your spent brass BEFORE getting new shells”.

  23. avatar Watts' Twat says:

    “The Moslems have taken London, what are YOU going to do about?”

  24. avatar Rikoshay says:


  25. avatar Watts' Twat says:

    “Let God ‘Save the Queen’ you go save YOUR family!”

  26. avatar Frank says:

    This is my weapon, this is my gun….

  27. avatar ACP_arms says:

    The guy in the front of the photo reminds me of a young Robert Downy Jr.

  28. avatar Ralph says:

    “You stabbed me in me arse, ya bloomin’ sod!”

  29. avatar jwm says:

    Changing of the gaurd. Old school.

  30. avatar Greg Schueller says:

    Is there anything you’d rather be doing than marching up and down the square?

    1. avatar Bob says:

      A Monty Python reference!

    2. avatar Will says:

      Dammit! You beat me to it!

  31. avatar TruthTellers says:

    When migrants from the Middle East show up, YOU GIVE UP!

  32. avatar the ruester says:

    “Damn it Ramsbottom, pick up the pace! I swear if every Brit was as hopeless as you, the enemy could just WALK over here and rape our women…”

  33. avatar GaPharmD says:

    Ya see private. It’s just like a girl. Just because you can put your hands on it doesn’t mean you know how to work it!

  34. avatar Andy says:

    Aaaarrrrrmmmyyy Training!!!!

  35. avatar James69 says:

    Before “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy the army was a much better place.

  36. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    (Thought bubble) “Don’t jam this bayonet down the drill instructor’s throat… Don’t jam….”

    PS TTAG. I just had a pop up ad that took over my web browser.

  37. avatar aaronw says:

    “I can tell You haven’t showered, Private. You’re kinda smelly!”

  38. avatar Mike says:

    I just realized that the old British helmet covers just as much of the head as our newest version does. Interesting.

  39. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:

    “What your mum may think , is of………. NO BLOODY IMPORT!!!!

  40. avatar jwm says:

    Picture your mother-in-law!

  41. avatar Milton Stanley says:

    “Yes, Private. I do know that it’s bigger on the inside than the outside!”

  42. avatar Caribou says:

    “I said, is that rifle registered private?”

  43. avatar Will P says:


  44. avatar Zora says:

    They’re right there! On the left! Now there are two on the right! Way to go genius, if I were playing I could have gotten that guy.


  45. avatar tsbhoA.P.jr says:

    “step lively, maude frickert is right behind you!”

  46. avatar Ian says:


    It’s a still from a classic British comedy, the private is a comedian called Bob Monkhouse and the bellowing sergeant is William Hartnell the first Dr. Who.

  47. avatar Watts' Twat says:

    The rotund soldier on the left looks familiar, I didn’t know Oliver Hardy (from “Laurel and Hardy”) was “British”.

  48. avatar Mike says:

    Quick! Som’bdy give the Sarnt the Heimlich maneuver!

  49. avatar jwm says:

    Grenada Cut Rate School of Proctology.

  50. avatar A Friend says:

    I say, old boy! If you don’t get a move on those trousers, I’m afraid I’ll be forced to catawhop your mimbly buttahwhip, wot!

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