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  1. Born on a mountain top in Tennessee
    Greenest state in the Land of the Free
    Raised in the woods so’s he knew every tree
    Kilt him a b’ar when he was only three.
    Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the wild frontier!

    • Too clean .
      No sweat .
      No dirt .
      No sheath for the Bowie knife .
      Women didn’t look like this in the 19th century .
      Everything is wrong with this picture .
      Absolute fake .
      Silly waste of money .

  2. “Hey You! Holding onto the edge of the fabric backdrop! Keep that hand where I can see it or I’ll …darn. Wait a sec. Dropped my powder and patches.

    Here, hold this while I pull out my ramrod”

    Annnnnnd cue the “pow chicka pow pow” music

    • “We’uns is all southpaws in our neck of the woods, so we even got our rifles custom made with left hand flintlocks!”

  3. Can we pull our faces out of this staged photo face hole cutout now? Was the red eye setting on the camera on?

  4. 2016 and STILL waiting for my form 1 to be approved so I can put a 24″ barrel on my musket.

    • Lol or;

      “This is my family; ma wife Bess, youngest boy Jim, he’s 12, and the oldest Jon, is 42…”

  5. Young Charles posted the FrontierTown family portrait on his FaceBook page. Twenty-four hours later he learned that his high school had suspended him for breaking the Zero-Tolerance code.

  6. C’mon boys! Your momma’s gonna catch her death of cold this winter if we don’t bag some more coons and white tails fore the snow hits!

  7. Jedediha who are you trying to fool? The kid is not yours; look at the size of his head, FFS; it’s bigger than these sassages!!!

    (frosted mug of beer to whoever gets the reference)

  8. Paw? Why can’t we have AR15s like the McGregor’s?

    Because we’re settlers son. We settle for things. Now go churn some butter and ma make your own clothes.

  9. first recipients of the sears roebuck “headin’ west” ensemble. the maternal linen outfit was later substituted with gorgeous gingham for practicality reasons.

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