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  1. On their last trip to the shooting range on Phobos, Delta Six forgot to integrate the shoulder thing that goes up.

  2. Alistair’s friends had always made fun of his extravagant preparations for unlikely scenarios. But as he chambered the first of his homemade frangible gold bullets and fired off five rounds, rapid, he knew he would be vindicated.

  3. “Hey Mort. 20 years ago in high school we had career day. Does this come anywhere close to being the way you thought your life would be going now?”

  4. The new single shot California approved smart gun being demonstrated in newly required safety garments.

    2 operators require because you just can’t trust a gun to not influence a single person to a life of crime

  5. “Throw out all your videos on the front porch, Hickok45, and come out with your trigger finger up!”

  6. “So this salesman tells me you hold it like this, and in no time this place will be covered in Milk Duds. But all I see are these snakes!”

  7. “We’ve completed our government investigation of common sense Smart Gun technology” – President Barack Obama

  8. Apparently, a disarmed populace results in some really bad prop makers. They just didn’t have anything real anymore for a frame of reference.

  9. “The L.A. Sheriff’s SWAT team testing their newest equipment designed to keep law enforcement officers safe while giving a lethal dose of radiation to the general public.”

  10. After the Vacuum Dealers Trade Association moved their convention to Las Vegas, the Friday night orgy got weirder every year.

  11. Though otherwise advanced, the Martians still relied on their Obama Potato Gun to fend off aggressors.

  12. “He shouldn’t have laughed at my helmet. My grandmother laughed at my helmet once. Just once!”

  13. And our grand prize this evening is a California legal airsoft handgun with complete California safety equipment.

  14. SHOT SHOW 3016:

    Introducing the new Sig p226 Extreme Ultra X-Legion with the latest advancement in smart gun technologies, a special collector’s box, challenge holo-coin, and your own government overlord to tell you when you can and can’t use this firearm.

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