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  1. Ladies, we seem to have a large ant infestation. We have loaded you revolvers with #12 shot shells

  2. Ladies, as I told you earlier, when my drunken ex crawls out of his car, aim carefully and fire at will!

  3. “While standing at the edge of the pool, the ladies synchronized swimming team Quickly get ready for the premiere of “Waltz of the NRA”

  4. Good, now repeat after me:
    “And shepherds we shall be.
    For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand.
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
    And we shall flow a river forth to Thee.
    And Teeming with souls shall it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filii, Et Spiritus Sancti.”

  5. The first annual “TTAG Speed Draw from Concealed Carry Contest- brought to you by Can Can Concealment” was a huge success.

  6. ‘It’s my party & I’ll fire if I want to, fire if I want to, fire if I want to,
    You would fire too, if it happened to you . . .’

  7. Birthdays are important, very important- to all of us. Same goes for anniversaries and Valentine’s Day.

    There is a penalty for forgetting.


    • Now I don’t want to start an opinion war on abortion (we all have deeply held beliefs), but given their weapon of choice and where they’re aiming I would argue they are the 4th trimester abortion squad.

  9. The Junior League of Wichita Falls shows good form after their training session on “Dandelion and Invasive Weeds Eradication.”

  10. Artichoke hair on all but one or two, between ’57 and ’59. Not a pillbox hat nor bouffant doo in the line up, before early to mid 1960 when Jackie clones started to rule the landscape. Skirt length above the knee, certainly post ’56 when Brigitte Bardot’s influence hiked the hem from below the knee to marginally above the pat. Revolvers, Okay, obvious, just like pre Beatles, cuz there are no minis. One, maybe two T strap shoes or pumps, therefore post the Spring of ’57 by maybe a season or two when that accessory was a must. At most, two pleated skirts . . . .so I’m guessin’ ’58 or early ’59, but the weather is mild, so that almost eliminates 1959 if other than Cali.
    1958 it is, and therefore being before the ’60’s emancipation movement reduex, I’m gonna “send this one back to the kitchen”.

    “The ‘Betty Crocker Bakeoff’ finalists having no other way to break the judges’ tie . . . . prepare to take matters into their own hands”

      • Mr. B.,

        Maybe a little late to reply, but I sure am glad I had just set down the Captain and Joe before I read your stuff. That would have been a nasty clean-up. To your zing, I say, “No Scat”.

        This is TAG, so, the truth be told, that time frame was when zee hormones were accelerating toward full rage, so I really got into noticing everything about women (and I haven’t changed a lick since). Their fashion(s) is (are) merely part of the permanent imprint that goes along with that territory. Time lines speak for themselves.

        I’ll certainly make sure I include your avatar in the file labeled “DANGER – DANGER – DANGER” that includes a gaggle of characters like ‘Ralph’ and ‘peirsonb’ that require clearing of the decks before any reading to the right commences.

    • Between 1962 to 1964. The short ‘do’s are becoming, not butch, like today. Skirts slightly above mid-knee but not yet problematic for their kids to hold on to. The girls each look like someone’s young pretty wife. Note: it was still considered polite in those days to refer to women age 18-25 as girls.

  11. At the George Romero Zombie Apocalypse Defense Training Class ladies learn how to administer a coup de gras to a crawling zombie.


  12. In order to combat the Castros in Cuba, JFK started his own top secret assassination squad.

  13. “…and if the attacker is still moving, put another .38 in him for good measure.”


    “Which one do you want to keep?”

  14. “And once that Dirk Diggler is on the on the ground, you blow his ass away, like this!”

    “Shannon? Is that, umm, strictly legal?”

    “We’re gun grabbers, he’s a “Gun Nut,” it’ll be ok; ask David Gregory or that idiot in New York.”

    “If you say so Mrs. Watts.”

  15. “The teachers’ union stopped training grade school teachers how to administer dirt naps when some parents complained”

  16. “Okay ladies! All that’s left is to track down that butcher of a hairdresser and stop this madness FOREVER!”

  17. The first Avengers, the all female and Bob were organized to deter rape and womanizing. These Ladies are serious. Can you spot Bob?

  18. Finally fed up with constantly sewing it back on The Wendy’s gave Peter Pan’s shadow an ultimatum

  19. My name is Friday, and I carry a badge.
    Today we are helping instruct the Policewomen at the academy….

  20. Ladies, it may seem a bit harsh, but if you keep in mind the vacuum cleaner he gave you for Valentines Day, you’ll understand it’s for the good of the species.

  21. Fed up with being referred to simply as Mrs. X, Miss Y or “Dear,” women began to demand first names. It was a troubled time.

  22. “You put your handgun in, you pull your handgun out, you point your handgun there, the perp is shaking all about. You do the 2A two-step, give the criminals the rout. That’s what its all about!”

    • Beat me to it! And did it better too!

      You do the HOkey Pokey… You do the HOkey Pokey… That’s what it’s all about.

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