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So I’m walking in a local strip mall today (cause what’s nicer than a strip mall, right?) when I see the above poster in the window of a Quiznos shop. My natural thought is…bullets? How do they get away with that?…

What’s less PC, more insensitive than naming your product after an instrument of death? Something (to paraphrase the Bradys) that’s only good for one thing? After all, Washington changed the name of their basketball team from the menacing Bullets to the whimsical Wizards. Just to avoid the assault on local sensibilities.

Sure, the formerly gun-free utopia of D.C. had a violent crime rate that rivaled Mogadishu. And who’d want their entertainment property associated with that? It boggles the mind to think of “Pistol” Pete Maravich trying to get away with sinking threes with that moniker. If he were playing in these postmodern times, that is.

So what gives with Quiznos? Why the free pass? And it’s not even just bullets with the quirkily named chain. Their other sandwiches are called subs and torpedoes. This is clearly a well thought-out strategy. Could they be more brazen? More militaristic? To quote Bob Dole, where’s the outrage?

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  1. I dunno. Japan is about as anti-gun as they come, and they call their train the Bullet Train.

    • Yup, my Japanese wife was shocked to learn of Miroku Mfg, who manufacture my Citori shotguns and many reproduction Winchester rifles. Very nice quality.
      Shocked, shocked I say.

  2. What was that….I was busy ordering more ammo and worshiping our dark lord…

  3. Bullets, submarines and torpedoes? Sounds more phallic than hoplophilic to me. They need some psychoanalysis, stat.

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