Saturday Night Live's 'Welcome to Hell'
courtesy youtube.com
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The rapier (no pun intended) wits at Saturday Night Live have finally taken note of the spate of prominent sexual harassment and assault accusations and firings in their own special way. In a lavish video production they call ‘Welcome to Hell’, they make the case that women are little more than targets for the predatory patriarchy…and have been, well, since forever.

After initially contorting themselves into various pretzel-like shapes in order to justify their silence on one of the biggest news stories of the year, it appears NBC’s too-long-in-the-tooth franchise finally felt they could no longer avoid the topic.

But even here, SNL’s “comics” managed to only obliquely allude to the last few months’ revelations without mentioning a single name amongst the score or so of prominent entertainment, media and government figures who have been shamed, banished, fired or simply hounded from public life. Instead, with resignation, they list some of the everyday activities that are no longer safe for the XX set (parking, walking, Uber, hotels, night time, bathrobes, drinking and, of course, men).

The dolled-up singers then reveal their own special strategies to avoid being victimized; traveling in packs, carrying their keys in their fists, acting insane and…wait!

It turns out there’s an app for pervy predatory behavior. One of the kewpie-like characters reveals that her father — obviously concerned for her safety — bought her a firearm!

My dad gave me a pink gun so…there’s a lot there.

We don’t think that means what she thinks it’s supposed to mean. If the number of women who report they’ve been sexually assaulted is accurate (almost 20%) armed self defense would seem to be an excellent deterrent strategy to ensure that the Harvey Weinsteins, Matt Lauers and Charlie Roses of the world keep their clammy hands (and other appendages) to themselves. Oh, and don’t think that women are the only victims, either.

The moral of the story: as another famous man of letters once wrote, an armed society is a polite society. One in which the creepers — even socially or politically prominent ones — feel less ability to assault weaker, more vulnerable subordinates and associates with impunity.

Not that anyone in the cast of Saturday Night Live will ever make that connection. Or, given where they live and work, be able to avail themselves of their right to keep and bear arms, even if they did.

 

 

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44 COMMENTS

    • jwm,

      I will argue that there are some adults who truly, honestly should not be armed. My mom who has Alzheimer’s is one of them. Your classic “hot head” who constantly instigates altercations should not be armed either.

      Of course that still leaves at least 50% of the adult population who should be totally fine and responsible to be armed.

      • ex·cep·tion
        ikˈsepSH(ə)n/Submit
        noun
        a person or thing that is excluded from a general statement or does not follow a rule.
        “the drives between towns are a delight, and the journey to Graz is no exception”
        synonyms: anomaly, irregularity, deviation, special case, isolated example, peculiarity, abnormality, oddity;

        Yes there are. Their behavior is not an accurate representation of the rest of us… and we’re sick and tired of being held to that standard. Stinking bigots…

      • 50% is a rather dim view. That “50%” has access to firearms, knives, explosives, cars, etc., yet day in and day out they keep themselves in check. Our society and its social limitations codified in to statutory law are (thank god) not based on the potential and capacity for violence, but the demonstrated limitations of the few who can’t self regulate their impulses…. reactionary? Yes…. but a person is judged by their actions, not their thoughts.

        Which brings me to my favorite quote: “We have over 500 million guns and over 16 trillion rounds of ammo. If we were a problem, you’d know about it”

        If 50% of the population had homicidal impulse control problems, then they would kill off the other 50% who don’t, and then start killing off each other. There would be nobody left.

        • California Richard,

          I did say:

          “… at least 50% of the adult population … should be totally fine and responsible to be armed.”

          Whether that means 51% or 98% are good to be armed I don’t know.

          At any rate, if at least half of adults were responsibly armed, the remaining adult and child population would enjoy a great deal of protection from those who are armed. The only risk remaining to those unarmed adults and children would exist when they go some place alone or where all the adults happen to be unarmed — which becomes exceedingly more rare as the number of adults increases at any given location.

        • California Richard,

          And notice that the two examples of adults who I say should NOT be armed had DEMONSTRATED that they are irresponsible through their ACTIONS. (One example was a physical illness which prevents her from being responsible and the other example was a person who refuses to be responsible.)

          I said nothing about “thought” crimes or “pre-crime”.

          Note that the “hot head” should be in prison for instigating multiple altercations, even if using nothing other than his fists. Also note that the person with Alzheimer’s disease (my mom) has a custodian. Both examples reflect what we have said many times on this forum, “A person who is too dangerous to own a firearm should either be locked in prison or have a custodian.”

    • No…Only The paramiltarized left-wing police departments on the left-coast, or in the Eastern Bloc communist states…Where the PD is in full control over a “Government issued privilege…”

      • SNL guest Saoirse Ronan stared in a number of action, sci-fi drama, and apocalyptic type movies…So she must have had specialized firearms training…(Re: HANNA, How I live Now, the Host, City of Ember, etc…Have a lot of movies in my collection! 🙂

        • Thanks, I knew I recognized her, but I couldn’t place her. Probably because I’ve only seen HANNA and, for some reason, the trailer for Brooklyn (multiple times).

  1. I suppose the land whale’s sexual assault defense strategy is to continue accumulating mass? Were they trying to be ironic with the Katy Perry porn star aesthetic while decrying harassment, or mocking the over sensitivity to perceived harassment, or mocking virtue signaling ‘me too’ dog piles, or what? The only thing I’m sure of is they couldn’t be playing the message straight, since the delivery was so nonsensical. I must have missed something, because there were at most three identifiable ‘jokes’ in that sketch. Weak ones. Unless pity-party whining is the female equivalent of fart jokes the opposite sex cannot parse. The character in a trench coat is a gal appropriating male & trans culture while perpetuating stereotypes, both racial and sexual.

    The density of female comics is inverse to the amount of comedy produced (when they were rare, they were hilarious; now they are ubiquitous, and practically none are funny)

  2. A few years ago I bought my wife a Crim son Trace laser and ever since we’ve been joking ‘RED DOT MEANS NO!’

    • Ummm… that’s not a joke…
      I don’t like red dots on my chest so give her a hug for me.
      “Crimson Trace – helping criminals make smarter decisions for over twenty years” Saw that on a t-shirt of theirs once…

      • Well, it’s only a joke in the hypothetical, and even then if you’re on the right side of the dot.

  3. Even a stopped clock…I rarely watch SNLAME anymore. Not watching a dumb video. Every episode is pathetic DJT bashing under the guise of “humor”. And even a gal with a gun is lampooned…a gun for her but not for him.

  4. The biggest problem with sexual harassment and assault is that it is most often a case of “He Said, She Said”, because predators make sure there are no witnesses around when they make their move. If we examine the preponderance of sexual harassment and assault claims recently brought against celebrities and politicians, there is almost no physical evidence to back up those claims, other than self-incrimination by folks willing to own up to it, and by Trump on the Access Hollywood tape.

    Don’t get me wrong. I believe the claims (at least the vast majority), because the stories are all too similar, there are way too many of them, and there’s no incentive in publicly advertising victim-hood.

    But I’m wondering: What happens when he pulls out his tallywhacker, and she pulls out a pistol? Is that OK?

    I’m thinking, yes, sometimes that is OK. If the door is locked or the way is blocked, and it’s clear that the guy means business and won’t take Nyet for an answer, then ladies, it’s time for you to show him your little pistol too.

    • The problem for a lot of the accused is there have been people who have known about their behavior for years and just pretended it wasn’t happening or it wasn’t a big deal. Now that the allegations are coming out those people seem to be stepping forward and admitting to it.
      As for whether these occurences should result in a dgu, the answer is absolutely yes, assuming there is no other sure way to peacefully get out of the situation. Most of these perverts would probably faint if a woman pulled a gun on them. And if the perv is at bad breathe distance and isn’t listening to “no”, go ahead and let your other half speak for you.

    • “…and there’s no incentive in publicly advertising victim-hood. ”

      You’ve not been paying attention.
      If you can help get a politician (who, by coincidence, you don’t like) out of office, that’s an incentive.
      Also, there’s the “me, too” (look at me!) incentive.

    • “If we examine the preponderance of sexual harassment and assault claims recently brought against celebrities and politicians, there is almost no physical evidence to back up those claims, other than self-incrimination by folks willing to own up to it, and by Trump on the Access Hollywood tape.”

      There is a photo in the case of Al Franken and Matt Lauer’s “lock the door for forced interaction” button. Self-incrimination isn’t physical evidence, so I’m going to go a little broad too. Harvey Weinstein and Al Franken had accomplices and had witnesses; someone else to the picture.

  5. My x wife in her younger years, was kidnapped and raped, beaten and left for dead in a ditch.( X as in cant live together but still friends) , her everyday pocket dump Feg 63, two boot knives, pepper spray, and K bar.

  6. The problem with a lot of these hollywood sexual assault cases is they aren’t actually assaults, many are cases of sexual coercion. Having a slimy scumbag tell you to suck his wang if you want a certain movie part is disgusting, but its also not appropriate situation to pull out your Glock and put 12 new orifices in him.

  7. Ever since the Lauer thing broke I’ve been somewhat surprised at how widely accepted this shit must have been.

    If I walk into your office, you hit a button and the door closes and locks then you best remember a line the The Watchmen; “I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with me!” because I’m going to forcibly remove pieces of you, pieces which you ain’t getting back.

    Try that shit with my wife and when that karambit comes out you’ll think I’m just a daisy.

    • Yes. Apparently these “liberated” feminazis are totally dependent on gov’t to take care of them (shocking). When did REAL women stopping being able to handle men?

      Apparently silly little gals are so desperate to get out of the real world/”hooterville” and hang out in NYC/Hollywierd they will do/put up with ANYTHING from these progtard POS.

      Girls, LEAVE. Your BS “dreams” of fame in “acting” on Broadway/TV/movies or in gov’t are worthless nonsense.

    • Rorschach is the best. Him and the Punisher are my favorite comic book characters because they have no super powers, just the will and determination of a couple of citizens to deal with bad guys with extreme prejudice.

  8. Also, that special guest star on SNL was female Irish actor Saoirse Ronan…She did a number of Sci-drama, Sci-apocalyptic movies such as HANNA (played a young Russian girl who was a genetic augment designed to be a super-soilder…good movie, decent action…also the movie, How I live Now…A day after apocalypse movie…) So, she must have had some specialized firearms training like most rich movie stars do…When doing action type flicks…

  9. SNL sucks, and I am enjoying watching Hollywood implode. They have lectured us regarding their “morally superior” anti-gun and “pro-woman” stances for years, yet they hide behind armed guards and crappy lefty humor. It should surprise no one that they’ve also been hiding sexual predators within their ranks for decades.

  10. The “20%” figure comes from an unscientific anonymous online college poll of feministas. Don’t ever repeat that crap. Check the actual FBI stats.

  11. That SNL video was freakin’ awful. I couldn’t make it through the end. A bunch of pampered, privileged women in the nation that treats women better than anywhere in the world acting like they’re in hell. Please.

  12. I believe the casting couch has existed since black & white silent movies. It has existed since humans have been on earth. A lot has to do with how a woman is raised. I was to be a kick ass woman.
    Weaseled with an older brother when in lower grade school.

    My dad told me “put your sholders back, head up, look like you know where you are going.
    Went from small town to Dallas at 18 years old.

    First job I had a coworker tell me not to get on the elevator with a certain male employee alone.
    Was taking a late lunch in break room, said male employee came in while I was eating, he tried to feel me up. Since I was sitting down and he was a tall guy that Mr. Happy and the boys in striking level, he got an elbow in the balls. He got the message and never touched me again. Didn’t even have to put my hamburger down to send a message a guy can understand. Did I rat him out? Nope didn’t need to.
    That was not the last time had to do something physical to keep some from being molested or raped.
    Bit a guy’s lower lip until it bled, he let me go and I beat feet out of his apartment.

    A very close friend of mine was raped, it killed her soul for years.

    Ted Bundy raped and murdered a lot of women but some didn’t fall for him and lived, without incident.

    Don’t be a candy ass woman and it will up your chances of getting though your life time without sexual abuse.

  13. “Oh, and don’t think that women are the only victims, either.” For exaggerated definitions of “victim” #metoo. I wouldn’t call myself a victim because they’re mostly just funny stories. Gays, old women, and fat Mexican chicks. I don’t know why it’s only fat Mexican chicks other than if they weren’t fat it probably wouldn’t be unwanted, but I still can’t explain the Mexican part. Furthermore, I don’t mean Hispanic either.

    Generally speaking, I’m against violence against women, and none have ever pushed the unwanted sexual advances issue that far. A friend and I did swiftly leave a bar once when the lunch lady from our high school tried to have sex with him. Once again, funny story.

    As for the gays, a swift confrontation along with my “here comes violence” look has always solved the problem.

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