The Oakland Press reports that confrontational gun rights’ advocate and occasional musician Ted Nugent provided a “motivational speech” for his granddaughter’s school. Wearing a cap from the U.S. Border patrol [read about their arsenal here kids!], the self-styled Motor City Madman told the forcibly assembled throng at the Shrine Catholic Academy and High School in Royal Oak that their bodies were temples, and then gave a surprisingly demure acoustic performance. According to the paper’s “special” correspondent,” Mr. Nugent “took time to advocate hunting as a sport, discuss his opinion on gun control and urge children to stay in school, saying: ‘Without the basics, you got nothin’. You’re a bum.'” Strangely, the paper neglected to detail the exact words Mr. Nugent used at the Catholic school to ouline his position on hunting and gun control, given prior remarks on these topics. On hunting for example, “I’m not just killing them I’m fucking slaughtering them and I’m going to gut them and skin them, quarter them and butcher them and feed them to the soup kitchen and homeless shelters of America.” Safety first everyone! And you’re welcome for not repeating a word about Mr. Nugent’s widely-reported thoughts about climate control or posting the YouTube video of Kiss My Glock.