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I love the phrase “casual sex.” It makes sexual congress with a stranger seem like it’s only a few notches above a casual remark. “So  . . . how was it? Casual. Casual like a comfortable pair of pants or totally flippant?” The term casual sex also implies that sex with someone you know is serious. As a twice-divorced male, Roger that. So to speak. Where was I? Oh yes, threesomes. Yum. Or not . . .

“A married couple’s three-way romp with another woman took a violent turn when the wife thought her husband was sneaking another session while she was asleep — and pulled a gun in a fit of jealousy,” reports.

Guess what? According to, she pulled the trigger . . .

Deputies said Mindi Rice [the understanding if prescription drug-addled and not exactly Dominique Piek-class wife] grabbed a revolver, threatened to shoot the other woman and fired a round into the ceiling.

David Rice took the gun away and grabbed his wife by the throat while holding the gun beside her face, then threatened to kill her, deputies said.  He reportedly fired the gun and the bullet lodged in the wall.

The other woman called 911 and escaped at about 2 a.m., but the Rices refused to come outside.  A SWAT team arrived at the home and the ensuing standoff lasted two hours.

Just in case you didn’t know it: cheating on someone with access to a firearm is a dangerous business–even if the extra-curricular fluid swapping is [more-or-less] by prior arrangement. If you think about it, everyone has access to a gun, one way or another. Including, one hopes, you.

Which reminds me . . .

Anatomically speaking, there comes a point in a sexual encounter when concealed doesn’t mean concealed. Self-defense-wise, you might want to postpone that moment as long as possible so le petit mort to become actual mort.

When push comes to shove, either you’ve got to somehow undress discreetly (CLUNK!) or take a bathroom break and hide your gat. The former offers you the chance to get to your gun if you need it while the latter stops your new lover from blowing your brains out. So to speak times infinity.

Paranoid? Tell me that when you’re doing the horizontal mambo with a young lady and an up-to-that-point unrevealed boyfriend reveals himself (as in suddenly appears). Or your post-coital pal suddenly decides that rough sex equals rape.

I don’t know about you but I’ve reached the point where I don’t want to have sex with a gun grabber (in any sense of that expression). So I make sure a romantic interest knows my interest in firearms and supports the Second Amendment.

So much for OpSec. “Do you have a gun on you now?” Uh . . .

In short: sex is a minefield for someone exercising their Constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms. And yet, somehow, we manage to reproduce and live to greet another day. Go figure.

Meanwhile, be careful out there.

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  1. Believe it or not, this is a subject around which I have found it necessary to navigate. Thus far, discretely divesting myself of my deadly weapon has been the order of the day. On the other hand, better than half of my intimate relations since I began carrying were with those who knew that I was armed, or at least would not have been surprised to learn it. I have not yet had to figure it out on the fly with someone who had no idea or who I thought would react badly.

  2. I think we as firearms carriers should be more careful. Don’t do stupid things with stupid people in stupid places, kind of covers the entire thought.

    If you are going to do something that might be so smart, leave your gun at home.

  3. So uhh, no lie, went home with a girl once who had a Makarov under her pillow. I consider it an accomplishment befitting an Expert Infantryman to have cleared the weapon undetected.

  4. casual sex, as in you don’t even know her name is truly fraught with minefields. but as i got older i learned to do a little checking before jumping. any woman i was going to see more than once got the conversation about guns amongst other subjects. being a single father made me more leary about my partners.

  5. LOL! Wifey agrees to the three-way but gets mad when hubby wants a second helping without telling her. I guess you gotta draw the line somewhere.

  6. One of these days, we need a Men’s Talk about concealed carry and managing the disclosure of armed status.

    Until then, I suppose this post will have to do. Im a 25 year old guy , and occasionally meet a lady interested in some action after club closing time. Some thoughts on what ive learned the hard way from picking up girls while armed over the two years ive had my CCW permit.

    1:Vet the girl carefully. Unarmed guys can afford to be lazy, but if you’re packing its wise to check your lady out like a cop interrogating a suspect. Make sure there’s no rings, tan lines on the index finger, suspicious text messages she denies ever receiving.Tread carefully if every 10 seconds her phone’s going off and she’s not touching it. Ditto if she answers a phone call out of your sight and claims it was her accountant at 2Am. Ignore to the peril of a potential gunfight and expensive litigation afterward.

    2:Don’t disclose your armed status until you know a little bit about her political affiliation, and don’t be too macho to break contact if things look dodgy. I don’t mean run out the bar like you’re wanted by the cops if you find out she voted Democrat, but if she’s talking about the fun time she had visting the UN and how they’re doing a noble job of trying to disarm the world ( true story in my case, more on that incident later) best to take your leave. No piece of tail is worth a false DV complaint or a brandishing charge.

    3: Assuming your lady friend passes both the above tests, check for relatives or roomates who might be anti-gun themselves. One trip back to a girl’s place resulted in an unexpected meet and greet with her sister and the latter’s fiancee. Much awkwardness ensued. I doubt knowledge I was armed would help their impression of me much, which brings me to the final part…

    4….Disrobing. At this point ill put in a good word for Shoulder Holsters, for they come off quite easily compared to their waistband cousins. If you’ve played your cards right, the first time she knows you’re armed will be at this point. Calmly explaining the CCW status initially seems like the forthright thing to do, but it has an Achilles’ heel in that it gives knowledge about your armed status to someone who may have an adverse opinion on the matter. If both your and her clothes are off and she has a problem with it then, the odds of a hoplophobic call to police are reduced by merit of the circumstances. “You were doing WHAT at the time you discovered so-and-so’s piece” and so forth. Out of the girls ive hooked up with only one had a problem with my piece, and she was the one who spent 30 minutes raving about her visit to the UN headquarters, with a picture in front of the twisted gun statue and everything.

    For an outlandish story I wish I could make up, one chick not only didn’t mind my being armed, but DEMANDED I wear my Miami Classic II rig-and ONLY my shoulder holster’d gun-during coitus. She had a 12′ x 5′ OBAMA /BIDEN poster on the east wall of her apartment,so picture getting laid while carrying a loaded 9mm right in front of a Democrat party poster. If you think I made that up, I won’t blame you. I was there and could hardly believe the irony of it all.

    So , ill leave you with that postcript;sometimes the ladies like their men to be strapped with more than just their guns. Just because you’re armed doesn’t mean your social life ends, but you do need to be much more circumspect about your affairs. Call it another way having a CCW makes you a better man.

  7. A better headline would be: Hide your gun if you wind up married to a crazy person.

    And a wise man would realize in this day and age, one rarely needs to buy a cow to get milk.

  8. Or – and I am just running this up the flagpole – recognize that a woman good enough to boink should be good enough to marry and good enough to to exercise patience and restraint.

    • All well in theory Tim, but the reality is that there just ain’t that many of those girls out there, and a guy’s got to amuse himself until he decides he’s had enough of all the freedom and sex and would like to buy an inflating hectoring shrew of a woman he now hates a new house. There’s a word for females I wouldn’t marry but would have sex with. They’re called women.

      • Oh, it’s certainly possible that I misunderstand women, though it is just as likely that you do too. What is far less likely is that I misunderstand marriage. Women may be a cipher, but I can read fairly well, and I understand legalese decently. And there is absolutely no rational reason for any man to get married, ever. It’s basically betting someone we all agree is nearly impossible to understand half your possessions and future income that they’ll never change their mind about you. I’ve heard better offers from televangelists.

        • ” And there is absolutely no rational reason for any man to get married, ever.”

          At least none that you can see, apparently.

        • i felt the same way after my first marriege. but after 13 years of free agency i encountered a keeper and have been happily married for 7 years now. between the 2 of us we have 7 kids and 5 grandkids. i wouldn’t trade it for the world.

          also,ymmv, but for me the sex is best in a long term relationship.

  9. Lord don’t ask me to reveal it all.
    Let’s just say, lock up your guns, your wallet and anything else important to you.
    Certainly pre screen potential playmates. If they can’t deal with it then don’t go there.
    Of course if they are like some I have met we all go out shooting the next day together. Fully clothed of course lol

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