I’ve never understood Hollywood. Case in point: The flick from which the clip above is drawn. Now your garden variety 6-year-old yard ape would be more likely to come up with a better title for this flick than Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins. I mean, the flippin’ pulp series upon which this movie is based was called The Destroyer, for pity’s sake. What – too macho-sounding? Too obtuse? I don’t know “Remo Williams” doesn’t exactly tell me “this guy’s gonna kick some ass” like “The Punisher” or “Matt Helm” or even my personal fave “Derek Flint.” “Remo Williams” sounds like some guy that sells musical instrument accessories for a living . . .

So they do this movie and put Fred Ward in as the hero. Not a bad guy and a decent actor, but let’s just say he’s not the most versatile thespian out there. Then they saddle him with a lame-o script, stilted direction, and the worst marketing this side of Plan 9 From Outer Space. The scene above is a study in bad acting and what would have been some pretty cool moves – if we were watching James Bond do ’em. Still. Anyway. Enjoy.


  1. With Kate Mulgrew as an army officer fresh from Star Trek Voyager, and Joel Gray as the Korean philosopher ninja assassin kill-you-with-one-finger sensei, like a Yoda from hell! Korean? Joel Gray? Really? Psst, heads up to the producer — Joel's had a bris.

    The all killing, all shooting, all dancing — no, wait, there's no dancing. Too bad. But, there is walking on water (as far as I know, that's only happened once before) and over freshly poured cement (natch, the bad guy drowns). There's more corn in this movie than there is in Duluth, but I admit, it's a goofy, guilty pleasure.

  2. Ralph- agreed. My aunt who wrote for the Old Grey Lady gave me a VHS copy of this in grade school when I was sick with the flu. We both thought it was a piss!


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