Wilson chelan county gun weed butt anus
Courtesy Chelan County Dept. of Corrections
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OK, this New York Post headline isn’t up there with Headless Body in Topless Bar, but it’s still worthy of merit.

Man allegedly hiding drugs in butt accidentally shoots himself in testicles

The details are, well, painful. In a number of ways.

Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, was carrying a pistol in his front pocket while in his Cashmere, Wash., apartment on April 5 when the firearm accidentally discharged and pierced his groin and thigh….

Wilson, however, wasn’t just a felon. He’s what’s commonly known in law enforcement circles as a recidivist.

Wilson, who is a 13-time convicted felon, told his girlfriend to dispose of the weapon before heading to the hospital, the paper said.

Why the Washington criminal justice system had played a years-long game of catch-and-release with Wilson through 13 prior felony convictions is anyone’s guess. But as we all know, a felon in possession of a firearm is frowned upon in a highly gun-controlled state like Washington (and pretty much everywhere else).

So, while Wilson may not be the sharpest pushpin in life’s bulletin board, he knew enough not to take the gun to the hospital. He had to figure the hospital docs — and then the cops — would want to know how he came by his gunshot wound.

But Wilson apparently forgot to relieve himself of all the contraband he had.

When the ex-con finally went to the hospital, a balloon of marijuana slipped out of his anus while a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound, court records show.

Oops. Maybe the pain of the gunshot wound made him forget about the controlled substance in his orifice. The problem is, details like that tend to arouse police officers’ level of suspicion. So . . .

Cops also arrived at the hospital when alerted of the gunshot wound and searched Wilson’s car where they discovered a bag of meth in the blood-stained jeans he was wearing when he shot himself.

D’oh!

Let’s take a break and sum up, shall we? We have a 13-time felon in possession of a firearm, meth and a balloon full of weed shoved up his back door. Given all of that, you’d think the local constabulary would have clapped him in irons just as soon as the docs were finished sewing him up. Not so much.

The officers issued an arrest warrant for Wilson and he turned himself in to police on April 18.

Yes, they let him turn himself in. The only thing more surprising than that is the fact that he actually did it.

But that makes this next detail all the more baffling. After being convicted of 13 prior felonies, you’d think Wilson would be extremely familiar with the whole jail intake process. But . . .

As he was being processed at the Chelan County Regional Justice Center, Wilson was strip-searched and another balloon of marijuana slipped from his anus, the paper said.

He was also evidently unaware that prison phone calls are monitored. When he told his girlfriend not to cooperate with investigators, police added four counts of witness tampering on top of all of the other charges he’d accumulated.

With an intellect like that running around in a state that refuses to keep him locked up, Washingtonians can only hope that the gunshot ensured that Wilson will never reproduce.

 

 

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125 COMMENTS

  1. What I’m wondering is how a 27yo manages to rack up 13 felony convictions and STILL be on the street.

    • Yup that’s The People’s Republic of Washington…prosecutors there are probably trying a way to help the perp file a successful lawsuit against the firearm’s manufacturer as you read this.

      • Thing is, Cashmere is a tiny town on the outskirts of Wenatchee, which is not all that large either, and it’s in central WA, which is not anything like the progtard infested Puget Sound region on the coastal side of the mountains.

        Just about every town in America, regardless of size or location, has its idiots and addicts…although how anybody can be convicted of that many felonies and still roam the streets is beyond me. Maybe they gave this guy a pass because he had to pull double duty in such a small town.

    • Obviously they need some more gun laws to prevent a guy with 13 felonies from getting his hands on a gun.

  2. What was the firearm?

    Front pocket isn’t the same as appendix carry but. …. .why would you point any firearm at your junk?

  3. Did he put the pot in before or after he shot himself? I don’t quite grasp the order of events.

    • Vic,

      Easy answer: before shooting himself since it was still in a balloon. Otherwise, he would have probably smoked/ate it after shooting himself to help ease the discomfort.

    • First he put the pot in, then the weed, then the lid. Then he negligently discharged, then he shot himself.

  4. he must be from a democrat family or one of the judges is screwing him,,remember washington has more limp-wristed queers than sanfranshitsco now.

  5. The whole west coast is this way,,, they give perps tickets now instead of locking them up, Wash, Ore, Cali, all treat felons with baby gloves, they have citizen review committees that scrutinize every arrest the cops make,,, that’s why thy can’t find anyone to be a cop. Need a job, all three states are desperate for police. Oh , ya, their all run by very liberal Democrats.

    • Here in California it is due to a proposition, intended to reduce prison overcrowding, that results in catch and release for almost all nonviolent felonies, which is coupled with another law that results in the transfer of prison eligible nonviolent (mostly drug) offenders to county jails. These are the folks who are often homeless and who support their drug habits with panhandling, burglary and auto theft. In tonight, out tomorrow morning,

  6. Haaaa-haaaaaaaaaaa-haaaa-haaaaaaaaaaaa-haaaaaaaaaa-haa-haa damn that is too funny.. Bless his little heart.

  7. The gun did not go off accidentally. That is just too rare, modern guns do not do that. He had to have done something wrong, careless, stupid, moronic. Which based upon the report, would have been easy for him!

    About pocket carry, use a holster in that pocket. And nothing else but the gun in the holster. No coins, no car keys, no flashlight, no pen, no wallet, no pocket knife, no nothing. Don’t even put your hand in your gun pocket other than to take the gun out or put it back in.

    Anyway, good ending to this story. Pleased it worked out well for us all. Even, with any hope, for his girlfriend who need not worry about having some of the dumbest genetic material ever seen to be mixing with her own during those special baby-making moments.

  8. He’d be a shoe-in for public office, has all the qualifications! Have a better chance if he was a black, gay ,Muslim woman though.

  9. I was a prison guard for several years. I did a strip search on a food service worker and he had a soup can stuck up his butt. A freaking soup can. One offender died with a pickle up his butt, not exactly how I would want to meet Jesus. Lighters, tattoo guns, drugs, cell phones, you name I have seen it stuck up someone’s rear.

    • We’ve all heard of this sort of smuggling method.

      What I’m curious about is “how long did it take for you to become jaded and indifferent to reports of something up someone’s backside?”

    • Yupp.
      Normally, besides balloons with drugs inside with a sewing thread string tied to it just hanging out the rectum, so they can pull it out once inside.
      They will also tie a thread to a balloon and swallow it down into their stomach and tie it around or anchor it to a back tooth by wrapping it around the tooth.
      It’s more risky than the old rectum peekaboo trick.
      I’ve seen derringer’s, homemade single shot guns, handcuff keys are common and once this inmate came to us requesting that we take him to the ER as he admitted that he had a glass Gerber baby food jar stuffed way too far up inside himself and after a month of not pooping and feeling like he was going to die, then came to us for help. I once heard of a federal inmate that died because a balloon that he swallowed finally broke open and the large amount of drugs in it killed him. We kept all X-rays for training class and it’s always fun to see the look on new recruits faces when first see it. Concerning the legality of pot in that state mentioned a few times, it’s most likely that he was on constant parole and was banned from having it like a gun or he committed some sort of pot related crime.
      In addition, I’m sure that he knew drugs go a long ways in the joint, so he wanted to have it onboard, so to speak, to help him on the inside of the walls, etc.

      • You can buy weed like liquor in WA. Felon or no, there’s really very few practical reasons to smuggle marijuana like this unless you’re headed to a nonpermissive environment.

        If he’d dusted it with PCP, maybe…

      • Later in his life some doctor may ask, “where’s your balls” and he’ll reply, “in a pickle jar at home! That is, what’s left of them. You see doc I got tired of them just hanging around so I shot ’em off a few years ago”

        • So, he’s shot his testicles off. Via his handicapped condition he gets a job at the post office. When he gets the call that he’s been hired he asks his boss what time he should report for duty. The boss says that everyone gets to work at 8:00 A.M. but he can come in at 10. He asks why the difference and the boss replies, “Well, when we get to work we spend the first couple of hours standing around drinking coffee and scratching our balls and there’s no use in you coming for that”.

    • Well guessing it would be petit larceny now I mean it would be a dick move to push grand larceny over a little mess.

  10. I have had a few strange thoughts in my life but never in the wildest would this series of events have manifested, and it actually happened. Just gobsmacked.

  11. This all happened in Washington State which follows the California style of governing – if it feels good then do it as long as someone else pays for it.

  12. One can only hope that he totally wrecked his ability to reproduce. There are lots of ways you can be “pierced in the thigh and groin” without destroying the reproductive organs.

    That level of stupidity should be a capital crime!

    • Perhaps a federal law ; a “Darwin modifier”? I think that’d be a great idea and surely would save us normal folk a lot of grief later on.

  13. “…while in his Cashmere, Wash., apartment…”
    He sits around the house with things shoved up his ass ?

    “…the firearm accidentally discharged…”
    What was he ACTUALLY doing with the gun ?

    • He should have used a shot gun. Probably got that cork the last time he went inside.
      Saca te el dedo, pendejo.

  14. Two punchlines:

    (After sampling the smuggled goods) “Man, that’s some good sh#t.”
    “You have no idea how right you are.”

    “It’s always a bad idea to go off half-cocked.”

  15. My wife is due to be home from work soon and I’m not sure how I’m going to explain to her why I keep breaking out in giggling fits like an 8-year-old schoolgirl. Should I tell her?

  16. 13 felony convictions at age 27, WTF is wrong with Washington justice system. Remember those 13 felony convictions are only the crimes he has been caught and convicted! That means there is approximately 80% of other crimes he has committed and has never been caught or prosecuted. ATF should get involved, (marijuana user in possession of a firearm) If there is a person the ATF should make an example of, this is the guy. However the ATF is too worried about attempting to classify a Ruger 10/22 as an assault rifle. This scumbag will continue to victimize people until he picks on the wrong person.

  17. (Of course, there are other version running around out there.)

    “Headless Body in a Topless Bar” reminded me of a silly old joke my father used to tell me…

    A husband wanted to have his cheating wife murdered. He hired a not-too-bright hit man named Arthur who agreed to kill her for one dollar. The husband told Arthur when she usually did the household grocery shopping. This was also where she often met her grocer boyfriend. Arthur went to the grocery store, found the wayward spouse, and began to strangle her. As her life expired, the grocer came running up. Instinctively, Arthur grabbed him by the throat and strangled the boyfriend as well. A cashier began trying in vain to pull Arthur’s hands from the grocer’s neck. Arthur strangled her as well.

    The next day’s headline read, “Artie Chokes Three for a Dollar at the Grocery!”

    (Posted in memory of my father so that others may groan and grin a little just like I used to do.)

    I could’ve also told it as, “Number 210.” Which is from another of his old jokes.

  18. So… the only part of this I’m struggling with is why he’s shoving multiple balloons filled with drugs up his ass for no apparent reason… I mean it would seem that he got caught originally here because he shot himself after shoving a balloon full of pot up his rectum…. after. Which leads one to wonder why someone apparently just wanders around with weed up their ass when they could put it in a baggie and put that in their pocket like a normal human.

    I mean, I assume the shooting was accidental so… who the fuck puts meth in their pocket and pot up their ass? If absolutely nothing else that seems rather backwards since if you were caught and searched you’d want to do a better job hiding the drug that gets you the larger charge, right?

    Maybe this all starts to make sense if you use a lot of meth.

    • Right. It’s like puking in the toilet and holding a trash can up to your ass to shit in. Just backasswards.

    • “who the fuck puts meth in their pocket and pot up their ass? ”

      At a molecular scale, latex balloons are *extremely* porous. The meth molecule can ‘weep’ right through the latex into the rectum, which has a ton of blood vessels there to de-water and solidify the feces into something somewhat solid. Fluids there have an expressway to the bloodstream.

      Think along the lines of the stupid South American drug mules who swallow balloons of cocaine and opiates before boarding a flight and expire during the flight…

      • I find this explanation almost impossible to believe.

        The base structure of meth is a benzene ring (ring of six carbon atoms). While meth isn’t a large molecule the fact that a latex structure doesn’t allow the quick passage of gasses such as CO2, O2, or even N (notably) means that there’s no way it has physical holes in it large enough to allow the passage of a benzene ring, especially a ring with a N based arm on it through the surface. He can pass through latex but that’s mainly because He is a noble gas that’s stable on it’s own and doesn’t form bonds with other atoms and is quite small on it’s own so it can pass through a latex membrane when the He is under pressure. H does the same thing but by the time we get up to . Meth OTOH is many, many times larger.

        If meth passes through latex, which I actually rather doubt without a rupture in the latex surface, it does so by dissolving in the latex and then diffusing out the other side. That process may weaken the rubber over time and cause it to rupture. I’m not really sure what would happen actually but I have my doubts about this for a variety of reasons.

        If meth is easily dissolved in mineral oil then it would probably diffuse through a latex membrane and most things that dissolve easily in mineral oil can do this, but I’m not aware of anyone testing this because not very many people would care about the solubility of meth in mineral oil.

        • Yeah, knowing basic chemistry and being able to look up the chemical structure of [insert compounds being discussed here] means you use A LOT of drugs and have a rubber fetish.

        • Well? Are you just going to leave us hanging at that? Some of us want to hear more.

        • “Well? Are you just going to leave us hanging at that? Some of us want to hear more.”

          Effectively yes. I’m not going to go and procure a schedule 1 drug for which I don’t have a DEA license. So I’m not going to test this.

          My wife has a couple novel theories on the subject that have nothing to do with this because even she’s right about the chemistry and the biochemisty (which I have no particular reason to doubt) there’s no way that the substances created would reform into meth, particularly within a biological system, once having passed through the rubber, though they may create HCN and some other nasties in some notable quantities. (Hilariously we had this conversation in a restaurant and freaked out a fair number of people with big sciency words punctuated with repeated use of the word “methamphetamine”. )

          Based on the general properties of the various rubbers I know of and the easily found known properties of meth I would surmise that the most probable way that meth “passes through” a rubber of any type is physical, the crystal structure of the meth allowing it to physically puncture the barrier, which in the case of rubbers means that the barrier will split or “unzip” along a long a longish chemical chain creating a large hole and allowing crystals to pass through or liquids which meth is soluble in to get into the container, dissolve the meth and then flow out into the body.

          If one really wants to know what happens outside of theory then one must either test this or find someone who has. Since testing just for funzies would be extremely difficult from a legal perspective it’s probably best to look for someone who had a legit legal reason to test such a thing in the first place. I would start that sort of search with the people who make various types of rubber gloves for the medical field as they would have the money to get a DEA license and a legit reason to have one because they’re going to want to know what exactly their gloves act as a barrier for and what they will fail at before they market them as a safety device.

        • “A high-risk type of packet — condoms, toy balloons or fingers of latex gloves — was used in the 10 deaths and nearly 25 percent of those treated in the study. Some also used masking tape and what appeared to be fishing line.

          ‘These packages are extremely hazardous as they are highly susceptible to breakage or leaching (seeping) cocaine,’ the doctors said.”

          https://www.upi.com/Archives/1983/09/16/Cocaine-body-packer-syndrome-can-be-deadly/3188432532800/

          It’s the ‘leaching’ potential that can get ya…

        • Geoff:

          There are a number of problems here.

          1) I doubt that UPI or any of the doctors involved in this understand much about the nature of chemistry, especially surface chemistry. Ask a GP doctor how the two main classes of antibiotics function to kill bacteria and the answer you get is… childish. They just know what works for what and they generally know why, but ask “why does that happen” and they usually have no clue. There are exceptions, such as the doc I had as a kid who was a walking PDR/Merck Index on par with or better than most pharmacists but generally non-specialist doctors know something works but not really why it works and they certainly don’t understand the nuts and bolts of the action. They’re generalists not pharmokenetic specialists and certainly not bench chemists. This kind of “general knowledge” is useful for a GP but it also leads to a lot of problems when they run into something they don’t understand (ask me how I know about that LOL).

          These are the people who’ve been telling me for 15 years that azithromycin will be a “dead drug” in the next year or two… yet they’re never right because they don’t really understand how a Z-pak actually functions.

          2) Cocaine is a different molecule altogether. It’s a much larger structure, much heavier, contains oxygen, has different bonds… well, basically it’s entirely different and therefore it’s properties are entirely different. It’s also typically packaged as Cocaine HCL rather than pure cocaine… which is what “free-basing” is all about, getting rid of that HCL, usually with diethyl ether to dissolve the cocaine itself and thereby “free the base”.

          As such this isn’t even an apples to oranges comparison, it’s apples to moon-rocks from a chemistry perspective.

          3) Further, if you look at the lit from NIH (see below) and some anti-smuggling groups we find that “leeching” and “seeping” are known issues with cocaine, heroin and methamphetamine. The usual culprit from acute poisoning due to intentional ingestion in “body packing” schemes is due to perforated or poorly sealed packaging. As the quality of the packaging goes up, even using latex for all of it, the chances of acute toxicity drop enormously. This is highly suggestive that it’s the sealing of the package rather than the packaging itself.

          We also find that the vast majority of body smugglers make it through without discovery due to capture and survive. Generally they all use three different types of packaging. When we look at the differences we find a strong correlation between those who are caught and the type of packaging. Nearly all are using latex but the thing that drops the chances of an acute toxicity issue in those caught due to behavior, rather than symptoms of “body packer syndrome” is the physical makeup of the stuff inside the latex. Specifically we find that bricked cocaine (densely packed powdered cocaine) is far less prone to “seepage” than other types of packaging, next least is a package reinforced with aluminum foil. The most common breakage issues are with lightly packed or rocked drugs, packed rather loosely in latex and consumed stored in the body in larger numbers and which are tied shut with fishing line type material or closed with an adhesive tape.

          The last part making perfect sense as I would expect that most tape adhesives would have significant adverse effects from encountering stomach acid.

          All of this is highly suggestive that the real issue here is a physical breakage or poor sealing that is subjected to the physical forces of the body trying to move the item along the digestive tract rather than chemical leaching through the rubber itself. The latter may be possible depending on the exact drug, what it is or is not cut with, how it was made and makeup of the rubber in use (last I checked there are like 30 major rubber compounds in widespread use and they have very different properties in some cases) but I find it rather unlikely given the strong correlation to the package construction rather than chemical makeup of the substances involved.

          Dissolving any of this stuff into the rubber and then allowing it to diffusing to outside the container is usually a pretty long process and is worried about for long term storage or repeated usage when a breakdown of the rubber over time is a concern. I would highly doubt that a significant amount of any of these drugs could transit a rubber barrier, sans help, in the time it would regularly be inside the human body which would usually be <48 hours but certainly <72 hours unless the package gets physically stuck. Again, it's possible I suppose but I'd rate it as extremely unlikely.

          Given the evidence at hand I would strongly suggest to you that the issue here is an imprecise understanding and/or use of language on the part of UPI and/or the doctor interviewed. The doc doesn't really care the exact method of "leeching", if it comes from a chemical reaction or a physical interaction or just a poorly tied knot on a jimmy-hat full of blow, he just knows that this sometimes happens and that knowing what drug it is is key. Especially since there is no known antidote for massive cocaine poisoning.

          Links to people who actually study THIS particular problem (large quantities of drugs packed inside the body in various manners) rather than just treat it in the ER:

          https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3522363/

          https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3934785/

          General guidelines on rubbers:

          https://lusidarubber.com/rubber-guide/

          MSDS for Cocaine HCL:

          https://www.caymanchem.com/msdss/22165m.pdf

          MSDS for Methamphetamine:

          https://www.caymanchem.com/msdss/13997m.pdf

        • Geoff, I wrote you a longish post on exactly why it’s not “leeching” through the rubber that matters and, in fact, is highly unlikely but rather is a result of an improperly made package transiting a fairly powerful set of muscles that move the digestive tract. Complete with links to NIH studies on it too!

          We’ll see if TTAG lets it through since I clicked the “I am not a bot” checkbox but nothing has yet appeared.

        • “If meth passes through latex, which I actually rather doubt without a rupture in the latex surface”

          I see, so that rupture, that Breaking is Bad…?

        • “I see, so that rupture, that Breaking is Bad”

          Combined with your name, you have earned a *slow clap*, *rimshot* and a *snicker*.

        • I saw it, Strych, your explanation is plausible…

  19. Mandatory sterilization of people like this so they will not contaminate the Gene Pool with more of their kind. After 4 times felony convictions then death by hanging. These people are disturbed and cannot be fully rehabbed. They do not productively provide any meaningful contribution to society . Trust me the crime would be nonexistent. Forget that we are supposed to be a civilized nation respecting all life, because in the last 20 years the respect for life from the criminal element is non existent. It’s time to take the war to the perp and punishment in certain extreme situations, like this the law is inadequate. In order to shame its inadequacy, it is necessary to act outside the law. To pursue… natural justice. This is not vengeance. Revenge is not a valid motive, it’s an emotional response. Its Punishment.

  20. “Your honor that stuff ain’t even mine. I’m innocent! The cops planted it there during the strip search. They set my ass up!”

    • I have to read all 82 cmts before I can sleep tonight. The dope keeps on giving and giving. Is this what as? to mouth is?

  21. As a resident of Washington State, I can tell you that you have to try really REALLY hard to get put in prison.
    There some crimes that will land your ass in the joint damn fast and that’s sex crimes with kids. But crimes like stealing cars, unlawful possession of a firearm isn’t a very serious crime. A person can have all kinds of felonies, but the problem is they wash out after time and don’t count towards a persons point score.
    Even if that douche does get sent off to the joint, he’ll only do three or four years and be out.
    I’m following a case right now that involves possession of a stolen firearm (mine) and unlawful possession of a firearm (previous conviction) I was at my rental property doing maintenance and ran to the store. I left my Ruger SR22 at the apt and while I was gone, some scum-bag broke in and stole it. He then sold it to his drug dealer who had the unfortunate luck to have the cop do a drug raid on him. Since I had reported my weapon stolen almost immediately, as luck has it, they recovered my Ruger within a week of it getting ripped off from me. I would have never even known had a not requested a copy of the police report for insurance reasons and in the report was a recovered property form. After calling the property room, I discovered my weapon had indeed been recovered. So much for filing a claim. Trial is set for this August. Maybe I can get my Ruger back finally and the dirt bag who had it, with all his felonies, he’ll do a few years and be doing it again as soon as he’s out.

  22. Does shoving marajuana up you ass give it extra flavor or a bigger kick when you light up or is it the thrill of packing it in.???????

    • No. Nor eating it ‘raw’ will get you very high.

      The THC isn’t ‘activated’ until the heat of smoking it converts it into the active form.

      Somewhere around 300 degrees F, since baking it in something like brownies does the same thing.

      Consuming it gives a very different quality to the high, a much slower ramp-up and a much longer high, compared to smoking it.

      So I’ve heard… *cough* 🙂

      • You’re breaking a carboxyl group off the THC and CBD to make them “active” within the body turning them from THCA and CBDA to THC and CBD respectively.

        In the case of the “high” it’s Tetrahydrocannabinolic acid + heat –> Tehtrahydrocannabinol.

        • Ahhhh.

          I vaguely recall from my smoking ‘daze’ something along those lines. 😉

          *Glug*glug*glug*glug*…

  23. Costumes officer was bringing person of interest back to Honolulu For a alleged crime

    While on the ail graphic scene is

    0A Customs agent was criminal back to Honolulu. I wasn’t around to se thgf

  24. Am I the only person here that thinks this is way too much information on what type of chemical composition of products to place in someone’s rectum? I prefer to discuss firearm related issues. Just reading all this is making my ass hurt (pun intended).

    • TTAG keeps it kinda ‘loose’ in the comment section.

      And a lot of us rather prefer it like that…

  25. this is why weed should just be made legal world wide who knows what these drug dealers are doing with our weed now a days or where they are storing it pre-sale…..now im wondering how many poo particles i have inhaled

  26. It’s concerning that a 13-time felon was able to possess a firearm and continue to commit crimes without being locked up. The discovery of the contraband in his anus during a medical procedure and later during jail intake shows the extent to which some individuals will go to hide their criminal activity. It’s frustrating that someone with such a history of criminal behavior was able to continue to roam free, but it’s good that he has finally been caught and will hopefully face the consequences of his actions. 3-Position Halogenation of Pyridine via A Zincke Imine Intermediate in alfa-chemistry.com can’t provide this things and always want to help people in need.

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