My second wife was a beautiful woman. When we walked through a restaurant, you could hear men groan as their wives or girlfriends kicked them under the table. Over the years, alcoholism claimed her looks. If you hadn’t seen my second ex in five years, you wouldn’t recognize her. Her descent into the physical, emotional and financial abyss taught me an important lesson: you can’t stop someone from making bad choices. They either learn from the consequences of those choices or they don’t. This thought occurred to me after dropping ex 2 at rehab 7 and reading an anti-Florida campus carry post . . .
“A gun-free-zone campus [is] a sanctuary where criminals can rape and commit mass murder without fear of resistance.” That’s NRA jefe Marion Hammer’s argument for Florida campus carry. Writing for mediamatters.org, Timothy Johnson rejects that argument, and Marion’s assertion that “Not only are opponents of this bill engaging in a war against the Second Amendment and self-defense, they are engaging in a war against women who need to be able to defend themselves against rape and physical violence on a college campus.”
To “prove” that carrying a gun increases a woman’s odds of being raped or injured, Johnson links to a farrago of anti-firearm falsehoods. TTAG’s debunked each and every one of his pet pseudoscientific studies. Suffice it to say, whether or not carrying a gun is statistically advantageous doesn’t change the fact that it can be personally advantageous. Or that gun rights stem from our human right to protect ourself from violent aggression.
Johnson soon jumps from “armed self-defense too dangerous for women folk!” to something equally condescending and, let’s face it, sexist. He reckons that “allowing” women to arm themselves against aggression puts an undue “burden” on them to protect themselves. The implication: we, men, created this problem. It’s up to us, men, to sort it out and protect the women folk.
In this, Johnson takes his cue from a [linked] editorial at The Daily Tar Heel.
Concealed weapons would be yet another excuse to blame victims for their own assaults.
Like other items on the list of measures that would supposedly prevent attacks, guns would not address the causes of sexual assault. Even worse, they could reinforce rape culture because the burden of stopping assault would be further placed upon women . . .
Expanding concealed carry restrictions on campus would arm potential perpetrators — not just of sexual assault but also of violence in relationships.
To reduce sexual assault, focus should be maintained on preventative programs that challenge rigid gender roles and promote healthy relationships as well as intervention trainings that teach peers to be active bystanders rather than on measures that will not solve the problem.
The Tar Heel editorialist is saying that the government shouldn’t let female students carry guns on campus because society would blame female students who don’t defend themselves against attack by force of arms for not being armed. Crazy eh? The DTH is admitting the effectiveness of armed self-defense while seeking to deny women that ability in the interests of equality. Go figure.
The idea of armed self-defense as an unnecessary and ineffective “burden” on women got me thinking about my ex. It’s exactly the kind of “argument” I heard from her over many years. You can’t blame me for being an alcoholic! It’s a disease, not a choice. And yet she continually makes choices that do nothing to alleviate her suffering and much to increase it.
It’s part and parcel of her failure to take responsibility for her condition, expecting someone else to do so on her behalf. Only they can’t, can they? I couldn’t stop my wife from drinking. Her family couldn’t stop her drinking. Counselors and specialists couldn’t stop her drinking. Only she could – can? – do that.
I’m not saying a female facing the threat of violence is the only one who can stop her attacker mugging, raping, beating, stabbing or shooting her. But I am saying that arming or not arming yourself against that possibility is a choice. At least it should be. Women should be free to decide whether or not they want to carry a gun. On campus or off.
Anyone who seeks to deny women their natural, civil and Constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms – whether they do it for “their own good” or for “society’s sake” – is doing women a disservice. They’re enabling the entirely mistaken belief that someone else can and will protect them from harm. It’s what we who know alcoholics call “denial.” And make no mistake: it’s deadly.
You can’t save someone that doesn’t want to be saved. A lesson learned the hard way.
No one who has a lock on his front door should be allowed to use the phrase “blame the victim.”
If you’re anti gun you’re pro rape. It is that simple.
There is one segment of society where support for a total gun ban is ubiquitous: violent criminals.
Go figure…
There is one segment of society where support for an absolute gun ban is ubiquitous: violent criminals.
Go figure…
Perhaps the men wanting to keep women disarmed harbor secret rape fantasies, and feel they need to know where to go if they ever decide to fulfill them!
Bernie Sanders! Is that you?
Democrats have always supported rapists that is why they want women disarmed.
I’m a Democrat and a gun owner. I have never supported rapists. Comments like yours are one of the reasons so many Americans can only see gun owners as sexist, racist,confederate flag loving ignorant hillbillies.
“I’m a Democrat and a gun owner”
That’s like saying, “I’m a Republican and lifetime welfare recipient”
You are not helping your cause.
Did you vote for / support Bill Clinton?
“..guns would not address the causes of sexual assault”
Nope, but they sure do help repel the action. Should we instead hand the attacker a pamphlet explaining sexual etiquette among strangers?
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You can “question rigid gender roles” all day long, but when seconds count the ability to d!ck shoot the perp will absolutely stop the rape.
Didn’t get past “This thought occurred to me after dropping ex 2 at rehab 7”.
It’s wrenching for anyone in the lives of an addict or alcoholic – particularly so for us men. “Man up” doesn’t relieve our pain or increase our resiliency. With several decades of sobriety, I often see co-alcoholic behavior – friends or family that enable an alcoholic or addict to continue substance abuse.
There are no silver bullets. “Tough love” seems to work more often than not. But tough on everyone. It’s easy to fall into the “if only I’d…” trap of self-recrimination. Hope that anyone affected by an addict or alcoholic first focuses on themselves.
Another’s suffering doesn’t require that we do too.
How’s the Lithium working out for you?
Personally, I would love to see a pic of Robert’s ex, in her prime. How fine is fine?
I knew her before she lost it completely. She was very pretty and was always was nice to me. I was sad for her and for Robert. I still am.
“Personally, I would love to see a pic of Robert’s ex, in her prime.”
Search RF’s videos, she’s in a couple of them.
There’s a partial one of you as well, Dr. Diggler, the purple sweater one… 🙂
*giggle*
if you have kids, you understand when they buy you a gift and ask you to wear. . . . . (shrug)
Men who rape know it’s wrong, but they do it anyway. They have no empathy, no pity, no remorse, etc. There’s always a segment of the deviate population who will commit rape. It’s dangerously and foolish to tell women that education and intervention will stop rape. This will only make women complacent in the effectiveness of these programs.
You want to know what stops rape? One word, prison. Recidivism for sexual assault is approximately 14% for the first five years after release rising to 24% fifteen years after release. Recidivism rates for men are also significantly reduced as their age at release increases. Know what the solution is boys and girls? Put more rapists in jail with longer sentences.
put more rapists in the ground, saves on my taxes and there are no repeat offenders.
put the rapists in the ground. No repeat offenders there.
0% recidivism post enthusiastic treatment with lead of any caliber
Libtards blather on about “choice,” yet they want to deny women the choice of arming up or not. Why is that?
Honestly, I don’t care if women protect themselves or if they don’t. After all, the anti-gun industry is built on female fears and solipsism. Even so, I do think that women should be able to make their own decision, but the left won’t let them.
What’s funny is how the commentors on the site are using the inverse of this argument.
I had a interesting discussion with some young women whom are victim advocates. They were very emotional about the subject and rightfully. I asked them why they didn’t conceal carry because it was more dangerous. They also attempted to rationalize that the idea of killing someone was worse than being raped. I gave them a card to get discounts on pistols and ccw class.
Allowing the choice, and publicly funding an activity, are entirely two different issues in my book.
“To reduce sexual assault, focus should be maintained on preventative programs that challenge rigid gender roles and promote healthy relationships as well as intervention trainings that teach peers to be active bystanders rather than on measures that will not solve the problem.”
So in other words, sensitivity training and counseling for everyone!
I agree, arming women will not solve the problem. But what is wrong with allowing them to be armed until a solution (as if) is found?
Let’s get real . A drunken woman doesn’t deserved raped any more than the Jehovah Witness lady that wants to spread the good news to you deserves it . A female (# 10) should be able to feel unthreatened to shake her ……………
(# 10) body parts inches from any one and not expect to be raped . Rape isn’t sexual . Rape is pure and simple Satanic . A good man should be incapable of preforming in an aroused state if the other person involved is not wanting the same thing . All of the reasons for rape involve qualities that come by way of evil . Power and control and self centered pleasure are not of God .
……….. and on a lighter note …………..
There was a time when I would have loved to conceal carry that pistol in the picture .
I am not sure there is free will. The world may be even more depressing than most of us can imagine. I hope not though.
If I had (at least?) two ex wives, I’d be careful about being too high and mighty throwing stones at people for bad life choices.
@Blindman: Caught that one also. Sounds like both of them had drug or alcohol problems. I think you hit on a point that Robert probably knows all too well by now. That is that he probably needs to break his own habit of picking the wrong women. Hopefully he has accomplished that. He did say both of those women were his ex-wives. So at least he saw the light eventually and moved on. Has to be tough to see someone you love going down the road to alcohol or drug abuse and not be able to do anything about it. I hope for his sake that #3 does not have similar issues. Great that he feels comfortable enough to share his personal life details with those of us on this forum. Hate to beat him up too bad for doing that and he could kick us off the forum. So we have to be nice 😉 !
BTW I have 2 ex-wives also. Fortunately not due to alcohol or drug issues though. Guess some of us are not meant to be married. Though I was for over 40 years. About 30 to the first one and just under 11 to the second. Lived with #2 for about 3 years before we were married so actually with her for a total of almost 14 years. I must have an unconscious need to marry slow learners 😉 ! My average is also going the wrong way ;-( .
Thoughtful and courageous article RF. Thank you.
The next time an on-campus gun-free campus rape occurs a lawsuit would best be raised against the school for failure to adequate protective measures. If the school chooses to be gun-free and not allow lawful citizens to carry, so be it. But in the absence of the Right to self preservation, a Constitutional Right, the school must be the provider of protection. The Right still exists, yes? Therefore every student should be assigned an armed bodyguard. I suggest a new movement, Every School for Gun Support. Or maybe Mom’s Demand Bodyguards.
“I see you are no stranger to pain.”
“I’ve been married.”
“Ehhh!”
“Twice”
“OOIEE!”
Hot Shots, Part Deux!
I’m for campus carry, but I don’t know how much of a dent it will make in sexual assaults on campus. The picture of how all these assaults happen is still muddy, but it seems most of it is related to the drunken party culture that exists on campus. Most assaults seem to occur when the woman’s, and often the man’s also, inhibitions have been lowered by too many drinks. The murky definition of what constitutes consent and how drunk is too drunk to give consent complicates things further. Trials degenerate into a he said / she said affair, and the witnesses often conflict on what exactly happened. It’s not really clear if women in these situations would be able to pull a gun, or even want to. There are still assaults where the man physically overpowers the woman, and a gun would help equalize that situation. But my impression is that this sort of assault is the less common case on campuses.
That said, I find it absolutely disgusting that Progressives continue to argue that any suggestion that women protect or defend themselves is victim blaming. Should we teach young men to not rape? Yes, absolutely! We need to change the culture. But the fact is that there are rapists out there who didn’t get the memo about how things should be. Progressives deny that, just like they deny any evil in the world. I will be teaching my daughter to stay in control of her faculties, choose her friends carefully, be aware of her situation, and how to provide for her own defense. Progressives telling me I’m a bad father for that will just be music to my ears.
We keep reading statements that amount to, “instead of letting women have guns, we need to educate people to be aware of their surroundings and intervene if they see something.” My question: why must we treat these two approaches as mutually exclusive? Why should educating people to be more aware automatically mean that they CAN’T carry a firearm?
How would this thinking play out in other areas? Is it ok for people in drought areas to build large, unattended fires, so long as neighbors have been taught to look out for smoke? Should the Army get rid of any and all psychological help for potentially suicidal soldiers, so long as others are taught the warning signs to look for?