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“Still, I will continue to support as many gun restrictions as our trigger-happy nation will allow, though losing the right to keep shooting might cause a tear to roll down my lead-exposed face. Maybe I should be more paranoid, but for now, the only personal protection I will have in my house will have four sets of claws and respond to the name ‘Kitty.'” – Allison Peryea in Test Case: I Hate Guns. I Joined a Club and Learned How to Shoot Handguns. [at abovethelaw.com]

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95 COMMENTS

  1. Well…if the kitty has claws…point a laser at the intruders throat and …..
    In all seriousness…I would not hesitate to use a gun against an intruder if he/she was to attempt to hurt my cat. She is as much a part of my family as anyone and no way would I use an animal as a first line of defense. Yep.. I am an animal lover and proud of it.

    • I am a cat person. I’ve had cats my whole, long life, lots of ’em. In my experience they will in almost every instance (including the one I named Rambo), find a spot under the nearest bed whenever a stranger enters the house.

      Claws don’t do much good when they are used only as a last-ditch defense when cornered. That Ruger ‘stinger” next to me, however…

  2. Isn’t this like the definition of a mental illness? The complete dismissal of reality despite having actual physical evidence?

  3. Still, I have always felt about guns the way I feel about incurable cancer and TV commercials: They should be eradicated. If it was up to me, we would take all the guns in the world and melt them down to make a big statue of cuddling baby kittens visible from space.

    You forgot about the rainbows and unicorns.

    (I could maybe make an exception for hunting rifles, though I will never understand the fun of a hobby involving shooting one of Mother Earth’s creatures and watching the life drain from its eyes.)

    Well… Stop thinking about kittens for a second and think about that every time you eat a steak or some chicken strips – because it happened to those creatures too.

    As the gun violence in our country only seems to escalate…

    It’s actually not escalating; it’s actually decreasing. You guys reporting on the violence (with guns) is certainly escalating.

      • she remarked ….”and I found myself uttering new and unusual phrases, such as: “We need more bullets!”

        Inside every American harbors a shooter waiting to emerge.

    • Again with this melted gun statue…

      This seems like an absurd concept to espouse. I’ve never thought to myself, “Self: I would like to see the things which I despise melted into one big statue, to figuratively represent my hatred for said things.

      A Bloomberg, DiFi, Affliction tshirt, hipster, cast of “the View”, fruit flavored beer, modern art, celery, and third wave feminist statue would be weird. And hideous.

      • Oh, that’s just The Iron Throne from Game of Thrones meme-troping among the weak-minded.

        Say, isn’t that a symbol of brutal authoritarian rule achieved by force & chicanery, and a license for the occupant to indulge any depravity? Explains the attraction.

        • Just watch the South Park trilogy Black Friday, I think it hits most of the bullet points.

          “Floppy Weiner floppy Weiner, weener weener flopping Weiner!”

    • I will never understand the fun of a hobby involving shooting one of Mother Earth’s creatures and watching the life drain from its eyes.

      Ask your housemate, the obligate carnivore.

      • I find it funny someone will dislike the taking of a deer/furry-critter but not the veggies in their salad. Both are living things.

      • I will never understand the fun of a hobby involving shooting one of Mother Earth’s creatures and watching the life drain from its eyes.
        I think the cats love this more than the humans or the dogs. Cats put the sporting purpose in killing.

    • I HATE GUNS AND MURDERING FLUFFY BUNNIES

      Oh but I have a cat, which is essentially a tiny murder machine. (facepalm)

    • Watched a wild turkey decide to fly from one side of interstate 80 to the other. Turkey’s can fly, wild ones at least.

      But they don’t do it well. I laughed so hard at this birds near death experience that I damn near wrecked myself.

        • I have a feeling that in reality domestic turkeys would be smart enough to spread their wings and glide to the ground. But there’s only one way to find out.

        • “I have a feeling that in reality domestic turkeys would be smart enough to spread their wings and glide to the ground. But there’s only one way to find out.”

          Well, we can drop them from a helicopter to find out:

      • I can relate to the turkey thing. I was working nights at a point in my life and I’m heading into the office about 2AM. There was a walkway from the parking deck to the entrance to the building, and I am walking quickly. I get one of those feelings so I turn around. A turkey was perched on a pole, minding its own business not doing anything in the middle of the night. Talk about something that freaks you out! It wasn’t more than 5 feet away from me and I walked within 2 feet of it. What a way to get startled in the middle of the night. What’s even funnier is that the next night there was a male one (the first night was a male) on the exact same pole! Nature is an interesting child.

    • I thought they couldn’t until I saw some roosting in a tree for the first time. Honestly it kind of blew my mind a little.

    • They can sort of fly, like chickens.

      But, they do not have the right muscle fiber structure in their upper body for long distance flight. And they are too heavy for their wing span, which makes lift difficult.

      Had humans not found them to be delicious, turkeys and chickens likely would be extinct. Funny how there are no vast shortages of the animals we like to eat.

      • What are you?
        An otter.
        What do you do?
        I do cute little things with my hands.
        Awww. So cute. Move along. Alright, what are you?
        A cow.
        Get on the f*ing truck.
        – Dennis Leary

      • They can fly very well. I chase those shot proof bastards every year. They look like Valkyrie jet bombers when they are on the glide heading for a roost.
        I have the cure this year though.
        And peanut oil to deep fry the big Tom up. I’ll be heading to central Oregon next weekend to slay one.

        • They can, yes. Well, no so much. Turkeys can fly like OFWGs can run…

          Unless the turkeys we have in Texas are just the different kind of turkey, altogether. Honestly, I’m not sure. We have them at my hunting spots, but I don’t hunt them. I’m not a turkey hunter.

        • TTAG shouts in unison: “Unless the turkeys we have in Texas are just the different kind of turkey,”

    • The phrase “God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly” refers to an episode of WKRP Cincinnati. When the radio station threw turkeys out of a helicopter. The point I believe is no matter what you think, reality can be different, life or death for the turkeys and for the lady in the article.

      • Nah, for some reason I woke up with that classic line in my head and decided to use it on the first ‘derp’ moment that presented itself. Your analogy works well enough though, although it’s almost like she did the research and discovered that turkeys can’t fly but then threw them out the helicopter anyway. She learned that gun owners and shooting enthusiasts are not psychos and actually very normal and friendly people and that shooting is a lot of fun. Yet she swears that she’ll support any infringement to our rights that comes her way. So yea, if it was analogous that would work too.

  4. Guns also just really freak me out. Handguns in particular were created for the sole purpose of maiming and killing other human beings. I was always taught that it was bad to maim.

    I own a lot of guns. Lots. I intend on “maiming” zero individuals. Ringing steel or hitting paper is about it. Occasionally I take down an animal, field dress it, and it gets turned into the tastiest sausages known to mankind. However… There are some dark and demented individuals out there. Some are desperate. Some are high. Some are crazy. And you have something they want. You can dream about kitties all you want to, but the common gun owner should be no concern to you.

    • Yep, gotta love the insane assertions of the left that “hurting people is wrong!” They’re so insulated that they truly have no concept of evil or malice.

  5. Attending the class required walking through the club’s gun shop, which was packed to the rafters with firearms and people who I swear could read my liberal voting record just by looking at me.

    As soon as you opened your mouth – probably.

    All the employees were carrying guns in holsters, which made the hair on the back of my Democrat neck stand on end.

    Yep… oh the horror of dreaming of an existence where you might have to handle your own problems, look out for your own safety and defense, or take personal responsibility for your life.

    • “Attending the class required walking through the club’s gun shop, which was packed to the rafters with firearms and people who I swear could read my liberal voting record just by looking at me.”

      The same thing happens when my wife and I hang out with our liberal friends. They can see me coming a mile away. But, it’s cool, I know like all my interactions with various creatures, they are more frightened of me, than I am of them.

      • “The same thing happens when my wife and I hang out with our liberal friends. They can see me coming a mile away. But, it’s cool, I know like all my interactions with various creatures, they are more frightened of me, than I am of them.”

        Same here. My wife works in the college system and her work friends don’t really like talking politics around me anymore. Interesting side note, most of these college admin progs hate the current crop of college students and complain about how they are lazy, entitled, brats that take advantage of the financial aid system but then go on to talk about how “college should be free for everyone.” The cognitive dissonance is strong with these people; as seen with this reporter’s story at the gun shop.

        • Interestingly enough, I was having the same conversation with my wife’s friend yesterday.

          Her husband and her moved up north after his PhD to take an undergrad prof position. And he cannot stand the students or the job.

          She told me, he thinks the students are self-important, entitled, and everyone on them cannot complete a single writing assignment without step by step prompting.

  6. He talked a lot about gun laws and storing your gun, and how you should make sure there is reciprocity for your concealed pistol license when you take your gun on an out-of-state road trip. (Guns apparently also enjoy vacations.)

    Guns don’t enjoy anything. They are metal, springs, wood, plastic bits that make no decisions and see no enjoyment. They don’t take or save lives. A tool, a weapon, a machine, that befits the person operating it.

  7. Well, kudos to her for at least trying something new to her.

    And I respect her preference to not want to be a gun owner, especially as she’s now at least a little more educated about it.

    I demand, however, she respects the right of others to come to different conclusions and take different paths.

    Oh, and by the way, most gun shop employees go armed, in my observation. Given the high value of what they sell this is only logical.

    • Yes, she’s come to realize that gun owners are normal, even kind and patient people, not the bloodthirsty lunatics she’s been taught they are. Still, she intends to continue lobbying to strip them of their liberty and property because… well, she never does get around to that part.

  8. It was presumed that most of us were in the market for a gun for what the gun people call “personal protection,” which made me think of condoms and chuckle like a teenage boy.

    Typical.

    • So she mentions “chuckle like a teenage boy” beause men are evil and obviously disruptive to the higher race(women). The funny thing is that she writes like a teenage girl. She uses complete emphasis on emotion, she projects herself into others when trying to understand them, she pretends to use critical thought but rejects it with more emotion, she imposes personality and emotions onto inanimate objects, and she can’t keep a falic reference from a story about the evil guns(I’m guessing bring up that whole small dick thing again). Long story short nobody is trying to hurt you, guns lives(because obviously they are alive) don’t matter(racist much?), if you neex protection get a condom or a house cat, and even though someone believes in democracy they still think they are better to decide than the majority of the country.

  9. I was given a gun with a silver barrel that looked like something an evil person in a movie would have. I forgot everything I was taught minutes earlier about gun safety and how to hold a gun, and silently screamed inside. My glasses kept fogging up from fear sweat.

    This was arguably the most entertaining portion of the article. I’m going to use this later. “Liberal Fear Sweat.”

    Haha.

  10. Pop.

    I immediately thought: That’s it? Taking my own gun virginity was sort of… anticlimactic.

    I was going to say something about this. But i’ll keep that portion to myself. I bet she is one of those people that post their lives on facebook – including on all their private matters.

    And then I thought: That’s it? That’s all it takes to shoot another person, one split-second pull of a trigger? At that moment, I realized both how non-threatening and how dangerous a gun can be.

    Well, that and the person’s decision to take a life and the “liberal fear sweat” building up to that moment, just before they rob a store, break into a home, mug a stranger, etc. But yes, guns are dangerous, you need to take responsibility in the practice of safe handling and storage (if little ones are around).

    • This: I realized both how non-threatening and how dangerous a gun can be.

      …next to your last paragraph calls out the agency n responsibility problem.

      A gun makes it easier to do some things, which have hard consequences. Of course she prefers her cat. It can’t do much, so she’s off the book for whatever happens.

  11. She sure enjoys herself some descrimination. If she had written this, in the same tone, about a particular minority group, the world would shit a kitten. How can I get some of that protected group status? If only my right to own firearms was enshrined in some sort of founding document.

    • All you have to do is read some of the other claptrap from “Above the Law”‘s other “gun” articles to see the absolute hoplophobia, and condescending stories about guns/gun owners…….

  12. I left the range buzzing with leftover adrenaline and suppressing a smile just in case Hillary was watching.

    Oh don’t worry – she was.

    While I am not going to go out and join the NRA anytime soon (or ever),

    You might if you keep hanging around those people at the gun range. They may affect your kitten ideology.

    …going to a gun range and learning about shooting did teach me to look at guns and the people who own them differently. I felt like I was walking into the lion’s den when I went into that gun shop, but I was treated with friendliness and patience. I never felt unsafe—although I am not sure if the sound of gunshots will ever stop giving me heart palpitations—and I had a lot of fun. I felt the thrill of a recreational activity that involves an element of danger, and could appreciate the sense of community felt by the gun enthusiasts. By God, they seemed like completely normal people, which was perhaps the biggest surprise of all.

    Welcome to reality. What ever made you think otherwise? The “liberal fear sweat” lying media?

    • By God, they seemed like completely normal people, which was perhaps the biggest surprise of all.

      And yet her ultimate conclusion was that it’s still just fine to restrict the rights of these “completely normal people” into oblivion. THAT is the real divide this country is facing. Guns are a focal point for the problem, but it’s far bigger than that.

    • “She’s a lawyer. Apparently not a very bright one either.”

      You don’t need brilliance to be a lawyer.

      A high-functional autistic could do the job admirably.

      Being autistic can be a plus in that job, like in dissecting a complex contract…

  13. So, to be effected by the dreaded DNC/ Progressive Libtard Syndrome —especially in Socialist Feminists. The subject has to suffer from symptoms such as; Liberal fear sweats , hysterical housewife ranting, Cat lady ideation, compulsive DNC/Liberal voting of corrupt DemoCRAPS, etc, etc….

  14. After this young ‘un started what seemed like her 50th sentence with a variation of “I feel,” I couldn’t stomach more of this piece. What is it with this generation and their perception that their feelings are the substitute for rational argumentation? This made me feel this way. That made me feel that way.

    Gag me.

    • The way we were taught conflict resolution (starting in pretty much kindergarten) in schools and at home is insane, and that’s why. It’s all about using “I” statements, specifically “I feel” statements. As in, if another kid calls you a mean name that makes you feel bad, you’re supposed to say, “I feel bad when you call me that. Please don’t do it anymore.”.

      The idea being that everyone is willing to listen to other people’s feelings and stop doing mean/bad things because of how it makes another person feel. Of course that’s insane and a terrible lesson for the real world (you really think a junkie who hasn’t had a fix in days gives one single shit about whether threatening you with a knife makes you feel afraid?), but that’s why you see this disgusting shit.

      Peaceful conflict resolution is great, but it’s not always practical (this is why cops carry guns and not smiley face stickers). Unfortunately, the ones who raised my generation have presented it as the end-all be-all, and presented violence as the most abhorrent thing imaginable, and one that is never ever EVER justified no matter what.

  15. Always brings a tear to my eye when a young person makes their first tentative steps out of the craddle of ignorance and into the light of knowledge.

  16. Why does this site continue to post what some feminazi thinks? Don’t most men realize by their late teens that woman (in general) have a serious handicap when it comes to thinking?

  17. “If it was up to me, we would take all the guns in the world and melt them down to make a big statue of cuddling baby kittens visible from space.”

    Clearly she’s living in reality.

    • The best part about that is that you need an authority with guns to disarm people. But then who disarms the authorities? Higher authorities, obviously, but what about them? It would literally be impossible.

  18. Partner (probably founding partner) in a boutique law firm in downtown Seattle that specializes in community association work. Another Obama in the making. And first in line for the forced labor camp should there ever be a dictatorship of the proletariat in this country, or for that matter, a takeover by the Chinese.

  19. “I felt like I was walking into the lion’s den when I went into that gun shop, but I was treated with friendliness and patience. I never felt unsafe…”

    Look folks, if this wasn’t the case then we in 2A advocacy would have probably imploded as a movement. More importantly, where have you ever gone but into the shooting sports world where you were treated with actual friendliness and actual patience (these together are called HUMAN KINDNESS) by complete strangers who KNEW you didn’t know jack squat about what you were trying to do and where what you were about to do was potentially dangerous? Imagine if you pulled your Smart car onto a race track full of Indy cars. Think you’d be accepted with patience and friendliness there?

    If gun enthusiasts were even 1% as bad as she thought we were going in then there’d surely be nobody else left.

    We’re not evil. We’re not killers even if our entire species has the capability of being so. We are aware there is evil in the world and there are killers in the world and we’re unwilling to live in the kind of wet legged fear that the author needlessly did every day until she found out we’re actually a swell bunch of folks that she’d probably like if she got to know us socially. We decided to take a little responsibility for our own fates and almost universally hope at the deepest level that we’ll never have to shoot at anything human shaped that’s animate.

    What she thinks we’re like: I don’t go around gratuitously shooting people and then bragging about it afterwards in seedy government web forums, like some federal agencies I could mention! I just go around shooting people gratuitously and leave it at that. (With a wink and a nod to Douglas Adams)

    What we’re actually like: Miss, can I help you to familiarize yourself with your new pistol? Is this for target shooting or self defense or both? No ma’am. I’m not hitting on you but if that would make you more comfortable I’m happy to oblige.

  20. She acts like a gun is the only object that can end the life in a matter of seconds. Geez, talk about sheltered. A steak knife, axe, or baseball bat are quite effective….just a bit more messy and brutal.

  21. I recently took a liberal black female to shoot. I have known her for 6 years. This was the culmination of a gradual and patiently built friendship. We talked about the political environment in this country and all types of stuff. Keep in mind I am a conservative southern white male. I am supposed to be her arch enemy. Well, according to the democrats I am.

    She is now the proud owner of a Glock 19 and is looking at a shotgun for home defense. She is a convert and is now a libertarian.

  22. Imagine if she had formulated her statement to, “… support as many restrictions [to resisting rape] as our sex-happy nation will allow …”.

  23. How did this kind of dna make it through time?
    From cave men and women using rocks and sticks to bash each others skulls in, to modern day criminals committing the most heinous crimes known to mankind.
    Defend or be dead or injured or enslaved……your choice.
    Rocks are bad, sticks are bad,fists are bad, guns are bad….its just all bad.
    Help us baby jesus.
    Yet she likes to shoot ?
    But protecting your family is inappropriate?
    Someone is mixed up….yes?

  24. Captain Kirk in A taste of armageddon: “The instinct can be fought. We’re human beings with the blood of a million savage years on our hands, but we can stop it. We can admit that we’re killers, but we’re not going to kill today. That’s all it takes. Knowing that we won’t kill today.”

    This pretty well describes most of us that live in reality, this is what we know about humans. People that cannot come to grips with this live in a bubble of denial and hate anyone that makes them doubt their world view. This lady sounds like she has a chance at sanity, with patient guidance and lots of range time.

  25. We should start a new feature: “Anti-gun Journalist or Mass Murderer?” I’ve even got the next quote:

    I walked into the range, rented a handgun from the ugly old redneck cashier, and started to practice shooting at paper targets. As I fired my first few rounds, I felt so sick to the stomach.

  26. “Attending the class required walking through the club’s gun shop, which was packed to the rafters with firearms and people who I swear could read my liberal voting record just by looking at me.”
    ( Were you wearing a Hillary T-shirt and asking where the “safe space” was?)
    “All the employees were carrying guns in holsters, which made the hair on the back of my Democrat neck stand on end.”
    (The better to prevent gun theft. Isn’t that what you want?)
    “I noted that for two dollars you could buy a paper target of a zombie attacking a well-endowed blonde.”
    (Yes, you are correct. People of color and the LGBT community are sadly under represented.)

    Remember the gun control woman that tried to carry a gun for a month? Same theme. We’re asked to applaud the brave wymin for learning something she had already decided she knew.

  27. These people are the reason I fear for our republic. Donald Trump may be an arrogant demagogue and Hilary a corrupt, opportunistic shebeast, but these fools are legion thanks to our defective public education and post secondary education system.

  28. i go through the first three paragraphs and clicked it closed. Hyperbole, histrionics and hoplophobia, with just a dash of misandry tossed in for good measure. She might be fun person to hang out with, I’ll give her that. After all, she has at least one life long friend since second grade. That covers a lot of life experience territory, which takes someone fairly interesting to continue a friendship with across that much time.

    She also did walk into a gun range to try something she fears and loathes. Sure, her purpose was the hit piece she wrote. That may give her a modicum of street cred, but that only counts as much as the ol’ college try; nowhere near the proof of open mindedness she aimed for.

    Overall, with the prejudices she walked in with and walked out having reinforced, that writer is simply not a serious person. Pass.

    • Anybody who talks about making statues of cuddly kittens visible from space is probably not a person to take seriously.

  29. I will be curious if she does a follow up in say 6 months. I’d like to see what her thoughts are then. I will give points for actually TRYING it even if she is objectionable to it. That’s a lot of objectivity in my mind, and also how minds are changed. This is why they say we should take people to the range and despite the slant of it may actually encourage others to do it too.

  30. “Still, I have always felt about guns the way I feel about incurable cancer and TV commercials: They should be eradicated. If it was up to me, we would take all the guns in the world and melt them down to make a big statue of cuddling baby kittens visible from space.”

    This isn’t just liberalism it’s infantilism. These people think and speak like children. It’s corny, irritating and off putting.

    Why do they think they have a right to MY life? I want to carry a firearm to defend myself and it’s none of this idiots business if I do.

  31. the only personal protection I will have in my house will have four sets of claws and respond to the name ‘Kitty.’”
    So she is going to be the zoo tiger’s new keeper and trainer?

  32. In an apparent nod to weeding out potential terrorists and students with sexy foreign accents, participants had to answer ahead of time whether we were U.S. citizens or green card holders, and could speak English fluently without translator assistance.

    Or maybe, Counselor, the people offering the class want to comply with the law. Washington state (where this person lives) has laws about non-citizens or non-permanent residents handling firearms, and unsurprisingly, people who provide firearms instruction for a living take those laws seriously. I find it amazing that a lawyer wouldn’t consider that information requested on a form was being collected for legal protection purposes.

    As for speaking English fluently, it’s a firearms instruction course, where there will be live fire. Instructions given need to be understood and followed. People who like and respect guns take that seriously.

    The reasons behind these things are blatantly obvious. But I find it also revealing that her reflexive prejudice seems to have blinded her from those simple, straightforward answers.

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