A show called Top Shot has no business asking competitors to fight for supremacy by throwing Tomahawks, darts or fluffy pillows. At least a blowgun (last night’s elimination challenge) is a gun. Mind you, it’s not my idea of a “real” gun. That would be something that fires a projectile at more than 150 feet per second. If I were king of the forrrrrrest, I’d have the Top Shot aspirants shooting at each other with simunitions until someone screams like a little girl. Stock still marksmanship? Teamwork? Trick shots? Plates? Not to put too fine a point on it, fuck that shit. I want combat! Bruises! BLOOD! Hello? History channel? Where are the competitive recreations of famous gun battles, from Tombstone to Stalingrad to Afghanistan? What’s your take? What should these girly men be doing to claim the title of Top Shot—other than wearing sunglasses to avoid retinal damage from the host’s blindingly white teeth?