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The UK Daily Mirror published a piece sounding the alarm at the rapidly increasing popularity of gun-themed baby names in America. Of course, the piece launches with the number of people who perish from gunshot wounds each day. And fails to mention that at least twice as many defensive gun uses occur.

“In fact, a worryingly significant minority of parents are showing their devotion to the Second Amendment by naming their children after weapons,” Ruth Halkon wrote, as though naming your kid with gun-themed names is a bad thing.

Sorry if Americans are built of sturdier stuff than the average brown-toothed Brit, who’s been conditioned to soil their shorts at anything firearm-related. Like a stray round of ammo. From the York Press:

A STARTLED man has told how he found a bullet lying in a York city-centre street.

Tim Stark said he was unloading items into the MOR Music store where he works in Fossgate yesterday morning when he spotted what he believed to be a live .22 bullet gleaming in a puddle.

He said he immediately called police, who came and took it away.

…A North Yorkshire Police spokesman said the bullet had been put into safe storage, and CID had confirmed it was not thought to be connected with any incident currently under investigation.

But back to the scandalized Ms. Halkon who’s chewing her fingernails in her story in the Mirror.

Babies named after guns on the rise in US despite shooting sprees with thousands following trend

…Gunner is the most popular choice for gun-toting parents, but other names like Trigger, Shooter, Caliber and Pistol are proving popular.

Gunner was given to over 1500 baby boys last year. Taken together with the 750 boys named Gunnar, an authentic Scandinavian name meaning “bold warrior,” it comes among the Top 200 boys’ names.

Her report somehow grew even more shrill with this revelation she shared with readers:

Violent parents are also embracing medieval weapons like Mace, Blade, Saber, Saw, and Dagger for boys as well as Sabre for girls.

Oh noes! But Halkon isn’t done venturing deep into the weeds with this gem at the end:

US baby name blogger and author Laura Wattenberg speculated last year the rise in violent names was due to the gun lobby feeling under threat.

Talk about living in an alternate universe.

While she did mention 31 babies named “Jihad”, somehow she neglected to mention the most popular baby name in Great Britain. Probably jut an oversight.

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134 COMMENTS

  1. “violent parents”???

    lol, what a hysterical hoplophobe. Get a grip lady. and brush your damn teeth. your dental health will be a bigger risk to you over your lifetime than any child’s name in America or any shiny .22 round laying in a puddle.

    • Yes, that line caught my attention as well.

      This is a hallmark of progressive thought: “If you own a gun, you fantasize about killing people”, “If you name your baby after a weapon, or weapon sport, you are a violent misanthrope who should be whipped in the village square until you return to a ‘correct’ way of thinking” (Okay, that last one got a bit out of hand…heh)

  2. Well, when you believe that inanimate objects are actually responsible for violence, the world is indeed a scary place! ?

    I don’t know how they sleep at night.

  3. I can see it now… class roll call in sixteen years:
    “Luger?
    “Here.”
    “Saiga?”
    “Here.”
    “Webbley? Webbly? Has anyone seen Webbley Fosbery?”
    “Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Webbley pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.”

  4. More people have been killed in France from mass public killings in 2015 then in the US during 7 years of Obamas presidency. And the US population is almost 5 times larger! Chew on that

    • Charlie Hebdoe = 12
      Theater (and other locations) = @128
      Nice = 85

      That’s 225 just off the top of my head. Can you come up with that many in America in the last 7 years? The Pulse was “only” 49, and it was the biggest such event in modern U.S. History.

      • “The Pulse was “only” 49, and it was the biggest such event in modern U.S. History.”

        Either because the Bath School Massacre was not a mass shooting, or because you mean modern is post-WWII. (the perp in Bath knew that bombs are WMDs and guns aren’t. The Columbine idiots knew it too, but were too stupid to create a combustible mix with their fuel-air bomb, if they’d gotten that right the gymnasium might have become a blast crater)

  5. All weapons have nicknames. Those dropped or launched by aircraft were intimate knowledge of Forward Air Controllers in Vietnam. I had told the bride “no kids until I get back”, so here we go. “What do you want to name our son?” Me: “Nelson Alexander Pxxx”, initials NAP, nickname Nape!” As in, Snake and nape, the most common alert load for F-4 Phantoms in Vietnam. She eventually let me back in the house. I accused her of being unreasonable, I had, all by myself, given up the idea of naming a daughter “Snake Ingrid”, since it finally got through to me that I would be naming a girl after a 500 lb retarded bomb, “Snakeye”.

    OTOH, what difference could that make to a UK newsrag?

  6. So I should name my next kids Glock, Sig, Springfield, and Taurus? A bigger family would allow for Colt, Smith, and Wesson. And Ruger.

    Keltec would be the kid that nobody remembers seeing…

  7. A few years back there was a spate of people naming their children Espn (pronounced Ess-pin) because of… you guessed it ESPN.

    I’d rather be named after a gun than be named after a sports channel. At least the gun name would signify some level of intelligence on the part of one parent. A name like Espn suggests your dad probably likes to tailgate rather hard and embarrass your family with his fandom and that mommy is totally OK with that level of stupidity.

  8. A friend of mine works with someone who named their children Remington and Ruger. My wife named her new kitten Rudy so I’ve dubbed him Rudy Ruger.

  9. The UK article is ludicrous. Unfortunately, there are parents who saddle their children with inappropriate names that are a source of embarrassment for their entire lives. Maybe, they want the kids to become good fighters.

  10. Nobody names their new baby “Hi-Point”. I wonder why? Weatherby would be nice but all the gun muggle kids would be asking him for the temperature and forecast.

    Beretta would be a nice girl’s name.

  11. So who’s side are we gonna’ take in the next war? The one where Mohammed is the most popular nom de plume? I know Bristol Palin’s baby daddy named his kid “Beretta”…has a nice Italian ting to it LOL

    • Breeze Beretta Johnston, whose father was still single at 21 years old, with two kids from two girlfriends. If anybody can talk young Mr Johnston into a vasectomy I’ll chip in $100 towards the cost.

  12. My son’s name is Gunnar. With an “a.” A lot of people mistakenly / ignorantly assume his name is related to my interest in firearms. Ummm… no. Happy coincidence. First… it’s a VERY common Nordic name. And, in our case, it was suggested by my wife, as she knew someone by that name when she was a child… and liked the name. Of course, when she suggested it to me, I was instantly on board… not because of the happy coincidence. I liked it because it was not common (here in the U.S.), and it was very masculine and strong. 🙂 Some day he’s going to be a famous hockey player. 🙂

  13. I understand that the name Henry is popular even in England. Not as popular as Mohammad, but still popular.

    For a girl, Star works well.

    And for the cat, how about Mauser?

    • I just had to put down one of my cats, named. “Indiana Jones” but his brother, named RPG (for his behavior) is still living with me and still living up to his name. He’s a 24 pound black and white machine of destruction!

  14. Surprised nobody has suggested “Owen” yet.

    Some of these names are pretty bad, but not for the subject matter. Sullivan, Mosin, Nagant, Wesson, Sten, Sterling, Tommy, Lee, Webley, Vepr, Saiga, Beryl, Ace, and Henry would be pretty good names.

    On the otherside of the pacific, my list of jouyou kanji says 銃 (“gun”) is legal for names, even giving 銃砲 (Juhou, “gun”),銃弾 (Judan, “bullet”) and 小銃 (shouju, “small arms”) as examples. None of the pronouncations find people with those as names, and something tells me the kanji would be pulled from the list if someone actually used them.

    • I love it, except no longer relevant. Other than women who hate men/sex, or women who live in a cave, there hasn’t been grass on the field more than an odd landing strip/Hitler moustache since the mid-80s.

  15. My girlfriend knows a family who named their kids the following: Hunter, Fisher, Gunner, and twin girls Remington and Lexington.

    • Well technically Saber is not her name, but the name of the class of fighter she is. Still I think it’s a pretty good name for a girl.

  16. Britain and the EU have slit their own throats, they just haven’t realized they are bleeding out yet. At this rate, looks like Briexit might be the last gasp of a once great empire.

  17. The guy I train with (former SAS doorkicker) would probably have named one of his sons “MP5” if he could have gotten away with it. Not kidding . . . his devotion to H&K’s legendary ironwork knows few bounds.

  18. I bet you there are more than a couple Bren Gunns floating around the UK today. A lot had changed in a couple of generations.

  19. My son’s names are Spencer, Remington, Colton, and an adopted one is named Parker Magnum. Only the last one was named such on purpose (for a firearm) but I do like how it turned out.

  20. As long as you aren’t going too far and naming your son “Ramrod” or your daughter “Butt Stock”, you should be fine.

  21. Decent baby gun names :

    Ruger
    Wesson
    Colt
    Browning
    Signund ( call him sig for short)

    Weatherby
    Herstal
    Walther

    Trigger is NOT on the list. Nor is shooter or caliber.

    Maybe Case

  22. Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red-hot smokin’ wife, Carley.

  23. They probably don’t remember UT quarterback Colt McCoy.
    But the family got lazy and named his brother after what they kept the colt in, Case McCoy.

  24. I named my beagle Sherman after the tank. Small, fast, lightly armed and the bark is worse than the bite. I was going to get a German Shepherd and name him tiger.

  25. My dogs were named Colt, Jericho, and Kimber. And yes, they were all named after firearms.

    When I wanted my first dog, my wife said you can have a dog or a new gun, but we can’t afford both. So . . .

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