Tesla AR-15
Courtesy Babylon Bee
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Tesla AR-15
Courtesy Babylon Bee

“After years of fighting lame California politicians who want to lock everyone in their homes so they can’t go to space or build cool stuff, Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced he was moving to a land flowing with milk and honey called Texas. Almost immediately after the move, he announced a new product the whole world has been waiting for: the Tesla AR-15.”

If your heart skipped a beat when reading that, you’re not alone. Unfortunately, Musk has his hands full with other projects these days and the Tesla AR only exists in the fertile imaginations of the merry pranksters at the Babylon Bee. More’s the pity.

“We really wanted to re-think self-defense,” said Musk. “This new firearm will be the go-to rifle for our SpaceX volunteers when they encounter hostile aliens. It’s also a celebration of the Second Amendment. If any federal authorities try to confiscate it, the rifle will automatically connect to the internet and file a lawsuit for you!”

That would make the Firearms Policy Coalition’s job much easier, no? Is there any reason a feature like that is beyond the capabilities of Smith & Wesson or Ruger?

Read the full post to find out what other features and capabilities a Musk-made AR-15 would probably have if he put his mind to it.

 

 

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62 COMMENTS

  1. The Tesla AR would be a battery powered AEG airsoft gun. Gun powder pollutes the air too much for them I would think.

    Either that or it would be a rail gun instead. Or a laser gun. Or…a flame thrower that is really a blow torch.

  2. After the bullet passes the sighted distance, the bullet comes back and reinsert itself down the barrel, and into a preloaded chamber ready to be fired again.
    (It’s why the one bullet you have to buy is $4,800.)

    • Just saw that in the movies, “Tenet”.

      “You’re not shooting the bullets, you’re catching them”.

      Somehow the bullets with inverted entropy are far deadlier and destructive when they hit somebody who is normal entropy, going thru them asswackbards with inverted entropy.

      Ain’t Sci-Fi a hoot!?!?

    • Altered Carbon has a fun version of this –

      Takeshi Kovacs Joel Kinnaman obtains a “Ingram-40 flechette gun” from a weapons dealer in Episode 3, “In a Lonely Place”. It is describe as a C-TAC prototype firing flanged armor-piercing homing rounds from a 10-round clip. The flechettes are magnetically fired, and can be recalled to the weapon, allowing for functionally infinite ammo and the ability to hit targets from the rear.

      http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Altered_Carbon#Pistols

  3. Like his sophisticated golf carts no one could afford it anyway. Today in Realville it’s election fraud that matters. To cut the chase.,..If Jim Crow Gun Control joe and his ilk are allowed to get away with their demoCrap then he can be president for those who savor slander, libel and election fraud. As for those who smell Rats in the woodpile joe and his useful idiots can go to hell.

    • Must be plenty of wealthy nobodies in my neck of the woods, as I see scads of Tesla vehicles around. Half the trucks you see on the road these days cost nearly as much as a Tesla model S.

      • There are two Tesla charging stations, one with 4 pumps, one with 8 pumps, within 3 miles of my home. Tesla owners must be keeping their cars under cover because I do not notice many on the roads around here.

        • That’s funny because there are exactly 8 charging “pumps” in a 50 mile radius where I live. Needless to say there aren’t many Tesla’s driving around here.

        • Golly I personally know 2 people who own Tesla’s. It’s called “successful”. Not my thing but I like both of them! Father & daughter..

  4. TTAG legal Corps –

    Stuff is happening at the SCOTUS with regards to the Texas election case filed, and joined by 17 states :

    “Yesterday the court, recognizing the urgency of the matter, ordered responses by the defendant states to Texas’s Motion for Leave to File a Bill of Complaints, and Texas’s Motion for a Preliminary Injunction, Temporary Restraining Order, or a Stay, to be filed by Dec. 10, 2020, at 3 p.m.”

    https://thefederalist.com/2020/12/09/6-things-to-know-about-texass-supreme-court-petition-over-2020s-messed-up-election/

    Did the SCOTUS just require the other states to tell the SCOTUS why the case filed against them should be dismissed?

    • Geoff…………

      SCOTUS mandated that responses from the defendant states must be filed by 3 PM today. Content of those responses is up to each defendant state.

      Victory for Team Trump is in the wings.

      BTW, lots of chatter in the Q-osphere about troop movements, secret rendition flights (can you spell Gina Haspell?), navel deployments along the Pacific coast. Mostly silly putty, but an indicator that a lot of folk are worried that insurrection is in the air.

      • “SCOTUS mandated that responses from the defendant states must be filed by 3 PM today. Content of those responses is up to each defendant state.”

        I’d *love* to see what they had to say in those responses… 🙂

  5. “The Tesla AR only exists in the fertile imaginations of the merry pranksters”

    Leftards being the gullible tards they are,will fall for it and will end up on some list of banned arms, to which government is expressly prohibited from any regulation of.

  6. If it was a Tesla it would have a cell number assigned. Musk could dial into your gun at any time and edit applications. He could even shut the gun off, install completely new and untested software, all without your approval or even knowing it was happening,

  7. Another reasoned, insightful and topical article from TTAG, concerning a subject of vital importance to every gun owner.

    By publishing distracting articles like this, TTAG and their handlers can ignore actual violations of rights and murder of (minority) gun owners by the authorities.

    Here’s one now!

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xeEa1n8jkmw

    • Too late. I already pressed the big bad “Ignore Systemic Racism” button on my computer. It’s part of the operating system, so I can’t *not* ignore the fact that I am not “liberal” and therefore a terrible person. Microsoft installs them automatically for all white males now.

      • ING,

        It seems that the next escalation in leftist claims of systemic racism is a call for racial fluidity. Why should any of us be limited to any one race? We need to respect everyone’s ability to be whichever race we feel like at the moment. Limiting people to a single race is, in itself, racist!

        We need to embrace the diversity that arises from a gender-fluid, racially-fluid society!! Think of how all the possible combinations will enrich our experiences as we learn to live with unpredictability in all relationships!

        Just in case: /sarc

        • Three sarcastic answers, apparently no one here gives a shit about an American gun owner being unjustly murdered by law-enforcement officials.

          That is interesting, article after article about whitebread Kyle Rittenhouse, yet no mention of this black American gun owner being killed by LEOs, what is the difference in the cases that creates this seeming disparity in concern?

    • You mean the one that already got mainstream media attention and already has three different agencies, city, state, and federal investigating it?
      You can’t help it. You’ve been a liar so long you don’t even recognize the truth. Again. Still.

      • Please tell me, what am I lying about in this post?

        It is amazing, with all this mainstream media coverage yet TTAG has no mention while running multiple articles about Anglo-Saxon American Kyle Rittenhouse?

        And Kyle Rittenhouse has already engaged in a federal firearms felony of strawman purchasing, while this fine young man has no criminal record whatsoever and possesses a valid CCW.

        Gosh, I wonder what the difference is between the two individuals in these incidents?

        • There is only one side of this equation who defines individuals primarily by their race. You see race because you are obsessed with it.

        • Nothing but empty speech for a response, the question still stands:

          Gosh, I wonder what the difference is between the two individuals in these incidents?

  8. https://www.baesystems.com/en-us/product/electromagnetic–em–railgun

    I’ve got my own miniaturized version. Imagine they joy of having a 5mm caliber rifle that has a muzzle velocity of 4,000 meters per second. That is more than 12,000 feet per second!! In comparison, the sabot rounds for an Abrahms tank have a muzzle velocity of less than 5,000 feet per second. The projectile might be tiny, but because armor piercing performance is proportional to velocity squared, it will turn an Abrahms tank into Swiss Cheese.

    Of course the best part of having a railgun rifle is that it doesn’t meet the legal definition of a firearm because it uses magnetic fields rather than expanding has from chemical propellants to launch the projectile. There are no State or Federal laws against manufacturing, selling, possessing, or carrying a railgun rifle. Of course the same lack of legal prohibitions also apply to thermonuclear hand grenades.

  9. I’m hoping it comes with a flamethrower option since he has already worked out the bugs on those.
    I have a yellow jacket nest in the back that has at least 2 openings. The flames would do a much better job on those critters compared to trying to shoot each and every one. After they ambushed me yesterday I’d love to get revenge on them. Exterminator will be here tomorrow so maybe I could use the flamethrower to burn the weeds out of the chain link fence along the creek. Shooting the individual weed stems would cost to much.

    Last nest we had removed was over 6 foot long and 2 1/2 foot in diameter at its widest. This one might be bigger since the openings are further apart. More than I’d want to mess with.

  10. I don’t want Tesla anything. The innovation is great. The monopoly on parts is not. It’s why a headlight costs $2,000.

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